I (24f) am completely over my husbands (24M) laziness in bed. We’ve been together for 3 years married for about 7 months now. We only recently started living with each other but our bedroom issues have been going on, on and off for majority of our relationship. I like to experiment and love pleasing my husband. I’ve probably done almost everything in the book to satisfy him and have opened him up a lot, and got him into things he would have never known he even liked. He thinks our intimacy is amazing. I have never finished.
Every time we have this conversation he gets upset and says I think he’s a horrible lover, pouts for a few days or weeks. Then will ask me in detail what I want from him. He’s very submissive now so he hates initiating so I’ve given up on that even though I’d really like him to be, so all I ask is for actual foreplay not just him wanting me to give him head and then go straight into the act. He’ll listen and start doing what I want once when we have get into it and then he falls back into his old habits and just keeps wanting head. If I complain or get upset, we don’t do it unless I get over myself and initiate it.
So after the last fight I was willing to have on the subject with him. I decided to go online and buy all the toys I’ve wanted but always put off buying, as well as some bondage items, etc. I didn’t tell my husband because he’s really awkward about me using toys, he feels like I should get off to him naturally and using toys is insulting to him so I never experimented with them. Thing is I don’t plan on using them with him. I brought them for myself so I can finally get the pleasure I’ve been asking for since I started exploring. We have a joint account so I knew he would see the charge eventually and question me.
Well two nights ago he saw the charge and approached me. I told him what I brought and he completely lost it. I told him that I don’t think it’s fair how he gets to experience all the pleasure during our intimacy and when it comes to me gets lazy. He told me I’m being dramatic and why am I with him if I hate our intimacy that much. He says he’s not gonna stay in our apartment while I’m using toys on myself every night and be okay with that. I say we can experiment with them together but he doesn’t want to hear it. Eventually he leaves and he doesn’t answer my phone calls or text for the night.
I got a call from his mother yesterday saying that he was at her house and pretty much saying how immature I was to approach a sensitive topic in such a bizarre manner and blow our money on toys. Furious that he even told his mom I told her I’m not discussing this with her, and that he can call me and hung up. We haven’t spoken in two days and he’s still not texting back. Even though I feel like I’m not wrong for wanting more when we sleep together. I feel like I crossed a line and shouldn’t have blown up at him over it. Am I in the wrong?