My (24f) bf (28m) said he won’t marry me. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3.5 years now.
Randomly the other day the topic of marriage came up as a mutual friend proposed to their girlfriend. He made a comment about how he “would NEVER get married” and doesn’t believe in marriage with anyone.
This came as a big shock because we’ve spoke often about having a future together and he jokingly called me his finance once a few months back.
Marriage is a big goal for me, always has been. I date to marry, as many say. I made a comment after his saying that marriage was a life goal of mine at some point, and I could see myself marrying him.
He looked at me and kinda chuckled, before realizing I was serious and simply just apologized and told me he didn’t believe in it due to never seeing a successful marriage and his mind wouldn’t change.
I guess I’m not sure how to handle this moving forward. Marriage is something I’ve always dreamed of having one day and now I’m starting to question if I’m wasting time in the relationship. How do I move forward from this?
my boyfriend and I have differing opinions on marriage. He’s unwilling to change and I’m not sure what to do now.
Netizens’ comments
- If you want to be married and he does not, that’s a core incompatibility. It’s time to move on.
- So I am confused – you’re dating for marriage, you’ve been together for 3.5 years, talked about having a future together, but never uttered the words ‘marriage’ to each other (or more specifically you bringing it up to him?)? Why? You do realize marriage is not the only way to have a future together right?
Yes you are wasting your time with your bf if you’re set on being married one day. That’s like asking am I wasting my time waiting for my horse to lay an egg – yes you are because the horse told you already he’s not laying any eggs.
The good news is you’re only 24, and 3.5 years is no time at all in the grand scheme of things. You live and you learn, next time don’t leave things vague - If he’s not willing to budge on it, and at the end of the day, it’s his choice and his right not to marry, then maybe it’s time to move on if it’s a deal breaker for you.