Found out I’m the other woman. Do I tell the wife? If so, how?
I (30F) have been dating a man for almost a year (45M). Turns out he’s married with 2 teenage children. It looks like he’s been married for 20+ years according to the wife’s Facebook account I came across.
I broke things off with him but didn’t mention that I knew he was married out of fear. Now I’m contemplating if I tell the wife or not?
They have kids together which makes me feel so terrible and guilty if it were to break their family up. I’m also scared of retaliation.
Is there any way to do it anonymously without giving away my identity?
Update: I’m scared of retaliation from both him or the wife honestly. I’ve read a lot of advice threads about this and people have talked about the wife reacting terribly to the other woman.
Also he knows where I live and idk how he will react. For this reason I’ve considered just staying silent and moving on with my life. But at the same time I would want to know if I was the wife.
- Also OP, there are a lot of affair partners that specifically get a kick out of being the other person and will not tell the spouse/partner that’s being cheater on. He will try move onto someone like that. You, fortunately, are not one of those people.
I say 1) get tested because who knows his real story and 2) tell his wife and tell her to get tested. If you’re scared to her anonymously and block out your face if there are pics you can use. Then block them on everything.
- Yes you should tell.
Anonymity depends on the amount of “another women” this man had. If you are the only one it’s obvious who is who.
Also, why are you scared of retaliation, from whom, and what kind of retaliation?