My fiance [m31] and I [f27] are planning a low-profile wedding and only inviting our closest family members. There will be 20 of us in total. My partner will have his parents, siblings and his niece and nephews attending. My mum passed away so I will only have my dad, my siblings and my niece and nephews attending.
My mum’s husband has been my stepfather since I was 7 years old. I lived with them as my real father was not in the picture much. So basically my stepfather and mum raised me and my siblings.
My stepfather and I talk once to twice a week so I guess we are some what close.
The issue is he is not a friendly person. He is a self-centred and very arrogant person. He always wants to be the one talking and never listens to anything anyone else says (whenever someone else is speaking, he is just waiting for them to stop talking so he can talk again).
He and my sister also had a big fight when my mum passed and they haven’t spoken since (3 years ago).
My fiance’s family don’t think much of him as my stepfather.
As I said earlier, my real father wasn’t in the picture much. Growing up, we heard from him twice a year (birthdays and CNY). As adults, we see him more regularly but it’s probably 6 times a year now.
I am inviting my father to the wedding because 1. I have no issues with him (he is a nice enough person and I don’t hold his own personal issues of not being a father figure) & 2. I would feel weird not inviting him
Now I know this would be ugly to my stepfather by not inviting him but inviting my real father.
But honestly, one of the reasons my fiance and I are planning for a low-profile wedding is because we wanted a simple and enjoyable night in a romantic setting.
I know if my stepfather came that there would be a conflict between he and my sister and he and my real father.
I also just don’t want him there because I know he would “spoil the mood”.
I want a fun and relaxing night and I know he would spoil that energy.
I told him that we are not doing any wedding, just ROM will do.
So am I being disrespectful for not inviting my stepfather to my wedding, even though he raised me since I was 7 years old I really don’t want him to spoil my relaxing and romantic night.
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