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Friday, February 23, 2024


My(31f) BF(30m) convinces himself he’s bought me things that I bought with my own money.
Been dating this guy for just over a year and he’s really nice and we get on well.


Before we started dating he seemed to flaunt his high paid job and bought me expensive gifts like a soup maker and printer, just because we’d briefly talked about them at some point.

It felt like love-bombing so I thanked him but also mentioned that they were a bit much and I’d like to spend time together instead of have large gifts, so he didnt buy me any more and we started dating, our dates were based on enjoying each others company instead. This was perfect.

We split dates 50/50 taking in turns to go up and get drinks and splitting food, and occasionally treated each other to small things over the past year. This was all great.

However, over the past year he keeps bringing up times he got me gifts in the past, which wouldnt be too bad… but a lot of the stuff he ‘remembers’ getting me, he never did.


For example, we were watching something and a girl said “I feel I owe it to the guy to sleep with him if he pays for our dates” My boyfriend made the comment “Oh I hope you didnt feel that way when i was paying for all of our dates For the first 6 months.” This confused the heck out of me, because our dates were always 50/50. Also we only went to cheap bars because neither of us like restaurants.

I mentioned a video game that I was really excited for and remember going to the store and purchasing on the date it came out (it came with a free gift) He said ”Oh yeah I remember buying you that.“ And I argued that he didnt buy it me, he said “I definitely did.” I had to show him the free gift, which he didnt remember and get up on google that the game came with the gift, before he would believe me.

We went overseas on a trip which he booked but i sent him half the money for, he keeps bringing up the time “he took me on a holiday” and is insistent that he paid for it all.

The final thing that I found weird as heck is, he made a comment in front of my brother. We were talking again a bout a video game that we are playing through together (hes got his own file as well, this ones just for fun) where he does the missions and I spend the in-game money on dumb stuff like hats. He made the comment that ”It’s just like real life, I make all the money and she spends it all.” And I have NO idea where this came from. We both work full time, we don’t combine finances, we don’t live together, and I hate shopping and barely buy myself anything. He buys himself loads of things all the time, and I don’t care at all. I have never touched his money.

I really like him but this is getting more and more frequent. Also when I got him an anniversary present he acted really upset because he didnt get me anything, even though I never wanted anything (he said he would cook for me but didnt).


It seems like his materialism is a extreme and he bases too much worth in physical possessions. To the point where hes convincing himself hes buying me things that I bought myself. How can we address this?

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