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Thursday, March 30, 2023


I broke up with my bf after I learned he cheated on his ex


Me (24F) and my ex (28M) have been together for 10 months now. Our relationship had been good so far, some light arguments here and there but nothing worth breaking up over.

A little context is that I despise cheaters. I have not been cheated on but I have seen the aftermath of what happened to those close to me. It affected a huge aspect of their lives and it took them a long time to get over it.

When we were still in the talking stage, I have already shown my strong dislike for cheating/cheaters. He told me he wasn’t that kind of person and that he’ll never do it to me. Fast forward from that time, he pursued me and eventually we got together. Sometimes, I would show him news about local celebrities and cheating scandals and I would trash talk the cheaters. He would mostly just keep quiet and agree with what I say.

During our relationship, we shared our dating history to each other. It was nothing too serious just the basics of what happened, how long it was, their name, and why they broke up. I was pretty happy in the relationship at this time.


It all went downhill two weeks ago when we were invited to his friend’s party. They were catching up so I decided to get drinks for my then bf and I. When I was deciding what to get, I heard one of them say “Oh damn, Maya got married.” There was another couple with me in the kitchen so I asked “Who’s Maya?” I knew the name of his friends and their gfs so I was pretty surprised since they never mentioned a Maya before. They looked uncomfortable when I asked and told me to ask my bf for it later. I didn’t have any clues to who Maya was whatsoever. I got back with the drinks and was bothered by it the whole night.

When he drove me home, I decided to ask him who Maya was and told him I overheard them say her name. He got nervous and told me not to hate him after what he’ll tell me. He also told me he didn’t mean to keep this from me but he was scared of how I’ll react to it. At this time, I got a bad feeling in my gut. He then proceeded to share how Maya was his ex gf who he cheated on. They were together for 3 years but 2 years into the relationship, he wanted to find some spice in his life so he cheated on her with Lily for almost a year. They had a bad breakup when Maya knew and he dated Lily shortly after. He told me it was the stupidest decision he’s ever made and that he was young and dumb at that time. He assured me that he would never cheat on me and that he changed.

Obviously, I was dumbfounded. I told him I needed some time to think and for a whole week we had no contact. When I was ready to talk, I texted him to meet in a cafĂ© we frequented in and I told him I was breaking up with him. He was very upset and begged me to rethink my decision. I was firm and so we split ways. Our mutual friends eventually knew of the breakup and days after, some of them called me AH because I was punishing him for a mistake he made years ago. They told me he planned to propose to me during our 1 year anniversary. I do feel bad for him but I still think I did right by breaking up because my perception of him changed when he told me. Even if I did stay, I don’t think I could ever trust him fully.

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