I have run into this issue more times than I can count: men who wax poetic about smart, self-sufficient women but then turn around and say nonsensical stuff like, “you’re too educated” “you’re a know-it-all” “you’re mean/arrogant/condescending” (that last one was from my most recent ex who didn’t like when I expressed my opinion, he challenged it, and I cited sources and found the information to back up my point).
Now, in all fairness, I am willing to accept that part of it might be my delivery or the fact that I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humour. I also am adamant that I refuse to dumb myself down for anyone.
But after a while, it does start to wear on me that I can’t find someone who actually appreciates my intelligence and curiosity.
Any insight or advice on how to navigate this while still being true to myself would be much appreciated!
Here are what netizens think:
- I am attracted to intelligent women and have never been put off by a woman’s intelligence. My ex was busy with her PHD in economics, and we had wonderfully in-depth conversations about all kinds of things, it was great. The woman I’ve just started seeing is also smart and is busy with a master’s degree. Not that higher education = high intelligence all the time, but there is some general illustrative value here I feel.
- What I have found to be quite off putting with some really intelligent women is when they pair it with arrogance, and in some cases quite low EQ. This is the same for guys. I find dudes who are super “intelligent” but lack basic self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and general wisdom to be absolutely insufferable.
- I also like women who are loving and kind, and sometimes I’ve noticed that smart people in general can present as lacking in these qualities.
- Maybe some men are put off by intelligence, I can’t say I relate or have seen it in my male friends. But be carful of falling into the trap of this assumption when it’s actually a lot more complex than that.
- It’s book smarts vs street smarts. “Intelligence” can mean lots of things. Degrees and PHDs etc only show one is good at schooling etc. doesn’t define intelligence at all.