RS Advice & Rant
Erm just needed somewhere to talk about how I’m feeling.
So I broke up 9mnth ago and I’ve met my current bf 4 mnth after I’ve broke up. Everything’s going well but I’m slowly thinking again.
I couldn’t stop comparing my ex and my current bf. Things like this makes me compare them:
1) I’m at my bf place, we both fell asleep until it’s about time to go back, I’ll wake him up and he’ll send me back home. He always woke up angry and kept saying he’s tired this that blah blah blah. I’ve tried to not go over to this place to avoid this kind of situation but then he’ll say we dont really have time for each other and this is the only time. He make time for me but I keep finding excuses to not meet him, even if not to his place when I ask him to go out riding all he’ll tell me very far, lazy, he’s tired then if not tell me dunno where to go.
As for my ex, he always have a plan. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll just keep it a surprise. Even tho we always end up at places where we do nothin just chit chat. Everytime I’m at his place, when it’s time to go home he’ll immediately get up and send me back, even tho he stay in the west I stay in the east. No complaints all. Nothing.
2) That day, I was sharing with my bf and we eventually talked about our future. Like if I were to get married to him, having a child all. Ofc we eventually came to a disagreement. He immediately shut me off by saying, him alone working is not enf to support the family. I was disappointed. I kept quiet ofc as me myself is quite an independent person, I always wanted to work even if I were to have a child. I don’t believe in him alone working will be enf for everything. And I won’t have to BEG for money.
But as for my ex, he’s more of like 心疼我. He’ll tell me in future I don’t have to work, he’ll wants me to accompany our baby until she’s way older. He told me that he don’t want me to work then go home still need to take care of her. He don’t want me to be so tired.
3) As for me personally I really loves to ask alot qns. One day me and my bf were going somewhere then we were going to this highway (I forgot where) then I saw a gantry beside it. I asked him, why is there a gantry. That’s mean they’ll close the highway? My bf shouted at me, I was shocked. Immediately I thought I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve disturb him. Often, most of the time. No everytime. We go out, he’ll be listening to music. Even tho it’s just a short distance like 5min.
But as for my ex, we often talk alot alot during the whole ride. I’ll ask him this that all, he’ll reply me gently. Then we’ll both laugh. The whole journey wasn’t boring at all, I’ve enjoyed myself during the whole ride. That’s probably the best ride that I’ve ever had. And that’s maybe one of the reason I wanna get a bike. One day I could ride beside him but sadly dreams doesn’t come true.
4) I’ve got nothing to talk to with my bf. I wanna share my work things with him but on a second thoughts I just kept silence. Cause everytime I share something he’ll be doing something, focus wasn’t on me. If not will be him complaining about things halfway when I’m still talking. Or when I’m in alot of stress that time when I had a feeling that I’m going to be fired from my work. I shared with him and what he kept repeating was why you kept want to resign, it provides you studies all. In Singapore you can’t just survive with whatever u have now. He called me and kind of like nagged and repeat everything he send me thru text. I told him “it’s not about whether I want resign or not. It’s about boss wants me not.” And I ended the call.
My ex. Wow, we could talk from 11pm atw to 8am. He’ll bring me to places, we just talk the whole night. We just had alot alot of things to share. When he talk, I listen. When I talk he listen. We gave our attention to each other.
Well, there’s alot more. But I can’t be listing everything here if not gonna be damn long.
Tbh I’m seriously thinking is my bf now a rebound or is it cause I haven’t completely move on. Isn’t that the same haha. But I really want to settle down, I’m lazy to meet new people whoever. Sometimes I’m wondering, if not just suck it up. Who knows maybe in future I’ll end up loving my bf alot more? And we’ll be happy?
Well, afterall my ex is someone I really loves alot. i also dunno whether I’ll love my bf as much as I love my ex not. But I guess I’ve lose my ex for good.
To my ex. If you’re reading and happened to know that it’s me, great! You know how good you are as a bf last time. I’m taking good care of her, don’t worry. And also don’t disappoint her. Last long! Hope you’re happier