How to turn someone down but not hurt his feelings?
I have a male colleague who i am close to. We work together closely and as a friend we also hang out quite a bit.
All along i knew he had a thing for me but i was not ready to reciprocate.
Recently things begin to get more “escalated” as he offers to do more “boyfriend” type stuff like sending me home, lovey-dovey messages and small gifts.
Recently i came back from a work trip, and he told me “he missed me” and asked me out for dinner.
How should i turn down his advances but not hurt his feelings.
I dont want to ruin this friendship and working relationship.
Should I outright just have a proactive conversation with him about how i only see him as a friend to set things straight?
Here are what netizens think:
- There is no way to reject him without hurting him. Stop accepting his affections and tell him you do not have feelings for him. Anything you accept from him is going to confuse him so play your own part in this and don’t lead him on anymore.
- If he refuses to accept it and if it escalates, you may want to involve a male friend for your own safety.
- It happened to me before and the guy didn’t accept my rejection till a male friend stood up for me. Sometimes some men just don’t take no for an answer.
- Say it directly and clearly that you have no romantic interest in or feelings for him.
- The longer you drag this, the more you are “leading him on”, the more it will hurt both of you when the eventual conversation happens.
- take a step back and dont reply his messages so immediately. since he has feelings for u, u cannot be as close anymore. saying it direct will hurt him.
- I think you should ignore his messages and get a guy to go with you if you want to set things straight with him
- Don’t lead him on. Should tell him direct and if you don’t want to hurt him do it discreetly. Tell him you appreciate his friendship but not more then that. Then try not have lunch or dinner with him and DON’T hang out with him. Don’t take his free ride home.
- Don’t say one thing (like you don’t like him) and do another (leading him on by going out to have dinner or taking his car ride to office or him). You will confuse him