I’m losing attraction to my boyfriend due to him being cheap.
So it can be hard to get my boyfriend to want to go and do anything if it comes to money. He’ll drop $500 on a trip or hundreds on something for a hobby it can be hard to get him to go do stuff($10-$20).
It just seems like he can easily fork out money for things for soley him but not on stuff on us together, even if I pay for myself.
It’s gotten to a point that I just offer to pay so we even go out but it’s becoming super unattractive.
Prime example I paid $80 for his birthday dinner but he wants to just bbq with friends for mine. I don’t expect him to pay for things for me but it’s hard wanting to go out having to feel like I have to pay for us both.
This is leading to resentment and then he’ll want to get intimate and I’m just not into it because I feel like he doesn’t seem to care about spending money on things for us to do together.
He even makes more money than I do and I get by fine but he’s always saying he doesn’t have money, then will go buy something expensive for him
Netizens’ comments
Money represents a lot of things – power, fears, dreams, insecurities… to name a few. To understand why this is happening, you’re going to have to figure out what it means to your boyfriend to spend money on you.
Specifically, what is it about the relationship dynamic with you that makes him reluctant? This may feel incredibly personal, but chances are, it has little to do with you. For example, it may come from a childhood experience or something his parents did.
If you’re otherwise feeling loved and respected by him, it could be worth talking it out. Try to put your feelings aside and approach him with curiosity, in a nonjudgmental way. You need to get to the heart of what money means to him.
You might even want to do some self exploration to see if there’s a deeper reason for why his aversion to spending money on you is hurtful to you.
It’s natural and normal for conflicts to come up in a relationship. When handled the right way, they can be an incredible opportunity for growth and developing deeper bonds. See if you can use this situation to get to know each other on a deeper level.