Should I come clean to my fiancé before we get married?
I met him while on staycation three years ago. He was love at first sight- well dressed, funny, supremely gentlemanly. He was miles apart from any other guy I’ve dated before. I was smitten.
Something about me is that I have quite an adaptable personality, and I am by nature eager to please. I’ve never had trouble finding friends or boyfriends, not because I was super popular or smoking hot but because I was good at sizing people up.
I instinctively knew the type of person someone was, what they wanted in life, their beliefs and their fears etc., and I would play to that. Some might see that as disingenuous, but it’s worked well for me so far as people open up really easily to me and are often overjoyed to find an unexpected kindred soul.
I was the same with my fiancé. I wanted him so badly that I made myself into the girl of his dreams. He was older and liked women, not girls. He had married in mind and wanted a wife who was classy and refined, so that was who I became. He was often in a suit, so I started wearing blouses and gowns instead of mini skirts and crop tops.
He was health conscious and careful with what went into his body, so I stopped eating junk food and started reading nutritional labels. He had impeccable manners and never swore, so I sat like a lady rather than slouching and cussing. And so on.
I must have been quite good in this My Fair Lady transformation, because he quickly fell for me too. Last month, he asked me to be his wife. I was over the moon! Yet, now that my spontaneous role-play is turning into a permanent casting, I am forced into doing some introspection. Who am I truly? Am I conning my fiancé into marrying a woman created out of thin air? Will he be disappointed if in 20 years time he catches me stuffing my face with Cheetos at 3am? Should I bring this up with him or let it lie? I don’t want to ruin our relationship- I have never been happier in my life and I am sure that he is the one I want to grow old with. Any and all advice appreciated..