I don’t want to be a wife , have children . I would rather be a man
I remember that feeling of first understanding I could never be a man. My first day working at a office I would look up in awe at the few woman who made up into executive level. I would watch men with half the experience and competence have 2000x more respect for merely existing.
I saw how older men got respect, money , stability and power. They worked for it of course but I realized. When men have power it is extremely different than when a woman does
You have to pick children or career. You have to select a man that will lift you up instead of using you as a clutch. You have to pick to either be pretty and objectified, or ugly and disrespected. Which one? Do you want sift through men that’ll either use your body or mind. Even both if you are lucky.
I’m not saying men don’t have issues or that’s it’s easy for them. I’m saying I envy the deal they have. I envy the way respect is handed where it’s due. I want to power , money and success. I can have these things as a woman but it just isn’t the same.
I even envy the strength and build of men. I tried my best in the gym to get strong but I slowly realized. I can never ever be as strong. I hate how short I am in comparison.
I dress femininely, I do makeup. I try my best to pretty because I know the privilege it affords me . I would rather people look at me as a leader than just a pretty girl if I’m lucky.
I don’t want to have children. Why would I? I have to sacrifice my career and depend on a man. I do not trust any man. I’ve watched them do barely any work or help out.
I’ve watched how some of them seriously do next to nothing within the household. Even with income. I don’t want to be a beaten down mother or a single one .
I don’t want to be held down or molded by my partner. I want my career. Why? Because this what I’ll do for most of my life. Of course I care. I don’t want to just be a wife or a mother. I want to be me. Without giving up a huge portion of my life away.
If you gave me the option to be a man. I would rather be one. It won’t be easy. I would rather deal with the bluntness of the world than to feel I’m in a incorrect format for the rest of my life.