I (23f) had the idea to video my fiancé (25m) and I having intercourse so when he was gone and I was in the mood I had something to watch so I could pleasure myself.
He was on board and wanted to do it pretty much right away. I wanted to wait until I was feeling good about myself (I suffer from LOW self esteem, that’ll become very clear) and I could have it set up nice and romantic.
So we end up doing it on an air mattress. It was actually really amazing and I forgot that we were recording it so I wasn’t paying attention to angles or what I was doing ON CAMERA.
Anyways I went back to rewatch it and was immediately filled with embarrassment and regret and shame.
I look like a bridge troll and he looks like every woman’s fantasy “lumberjack” guy. Every feature im self conscious about was blown up and to top it, I look like the most boring lay ever.
I thought I was moving my hips and being sexy, nope. Im just laying there while he does all the work like a princess.
I told him how I was feeling after watching it and he reassured that he loves me and thinks im beautiful but I can’t get it out of my head.
I’ve always been an insecure person and just recently got a shred of confidence but it was ripped away. My fiancé is SO much hotter than me.
Can anyone give me advice how to get over this? I deleted the video.