A netizen shared how she regrets having children and how she doesn’t like to spend with them and wants to leave.
Here is the story:
“My whole life I always said I was never going to have children and I meant it! Then 10 years ago after a nasty divorce I hooked up with my (then) best friend and he kept pushing for us to have a child.
After my sister had her first two children I had a very close relationship with them ( still do) and even though I still didn’t have any desire to have any of my own, I kinda thought well..
I probably won’t regret having them- only not having them.
So we tried for a baby and I fairly quickly got pregnant.
During the whole pregnancy, I was still not convinced it was a good idea, and when I gave birth it was not the joyous happy moment that everyone told me it would be. I mean I didn’t hate him or anything, but I remember thinking that if someone was to take him away from me now, that would also be fine.
I didn’t feel that instant connection. We had our second child because I wanted to give the first a sibling (I’m an old parent).
My children are now 3 and 5 and I regret having them every single day. I do love them- especially the oldest. But I resent being a parent. I don’t like to play with them. I don’t want to spend time with them. I don’t want to go to sports with them, I don’t want to plan for their birthday and so on and so forth.
I think it sucks being so dependent on anyone and having them depend so much on me. I HATE it. They’re always yelling and loud and fighting over stuff and talking to me. NEVER leaving me alone.
They take up ALL my time when I’m not working. And when they’re finally asleep I’m cleaning, cooking and preparing their stuff for the next day. Nothing is ever nice anymore.
Vacation is not vacation it’s just stress and yelling and everyone being miserable. You can’t go anywhere or do anything because these little animals will ruin it. You can’t visit or see any people and have a real conversation because some child is always screaming or hurt themselves or took a dump..
I try so hard every day, but I feel so bad for these poor children for having me as a parent. I don’t wish them ill, I just wholeheartedly wish they weren’t there. Just.. gone.
If only I had a time machine.. I try as best I can to not let it show how I feel. I tell them daily I love them and give them kisses. I try to be patient, try to be happy, try to smile and be nice and have fun with them. But I’m still sure they feel it. I get mad too quickly, I yell too much, I say mean things and have to apologize. I’ve probably already ruined them.
I often think about leaving. Just take off out into the world and be gone. Their father would be able to care for them himself. I am DESPERATE to get out of this situation. I cannot talk to anyone about how I really feel, because people get mad at me and don’t understand.
I feel jealous of most people, who seem to feel that even though having children is hard work it’s also totally worth it. I really don’t feel it’s worth it ever!! I feel so alone and broken.
I cannot help it I just really really really HATE having kids and I truly believe, I ruined my life and theirs by having them and now there’s no going back.”
Editor’s note: You should try talking to to your husband and tell him how you feel.