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Thursday, June 20, 2024


What is the point of a dowry in this modern times when women have emancipated and can earn more than men. I earn slightly more than my fiancé btw.


My fiancé is getting into a little argument with my mother as he refused to pay a dowry of $6200.

He has the cash of course but it is not about that.

Why does he need to fork out this amount to show that he is worthy of marrying me and be scorned by my relatives if he can’t? What kind of darn discriminatory practice is this?

My mother is more of the traditional Chinese kind (born in Malaysia etc…) which is of polar opposites from my fiance’s family.


My fiance’s family are 3 generations of ACS boys. As many would know, ACS kids are more of the western mindset and such backdated practices does not bode well with them as well.

When I asked my future Father-in-law what was his take, he said that dowry is a backdated practice and even if it means to exist, it should be for the sake of it as that must never define the capability of the guy. He also told his son in law not to offer any dowry to the family as he is not selling a daughter.

So why my mom has this kind of backdated mentality? Sometimes, adopting modern/western practices may be better…

Here are what netizens think:

  • In the past, the family of the Bride will give the Dowry to the family of the Groom. Not really sure when the new trend started.
  • Culture and tradition, The amounts can be nominal just for significance. If the family ask for too much, goes to show their character
  • The gown can pay the amount requested and bride side can take a portion of it and return the remainder as a blessing to the couple.
  • in customs and traditions there is no right or wrong, there’s only which side of the coin you see things from. but whichever side you’re looking at it currently, just remember that a marriage is a relationship for life, not just between you and your fiance but also between your family and his. if money’s not the issue, then sounds like its an ego matter. between ego and having a cordial relationship on both ends, you probably need to figure out which matters more to you and your fiance.
  • Only your husband’s family got issue. Not ACS problems hor. Please don’t go pull down the rest of boy’s school family. He isn’t even understanding enough to respect your parent’s wishes, you also one kind.. Your mother how old already? You want to change someone’s mindset where that’s how she was brought up her whole life.. honestly, $6888 is not a lot when comes to getting married. Need to get so upset over such things meh?
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