During my secondary school years, my friends would often express envy at the idea of me living in a terraced house.
My parents owned two properties – one was a terraced house inherited from my grandparents, and the other was a condominium they purchased. They made the choice to assign the terraced house to my elder brother and move to the condominium when he got married. Before this transition, the condominium was leased out, and my brother was responsible for collecting the monthly rent.
As the youngest daughter, I initially believed I would also receive a share in the condominium. However, I was mistaken. My mom clarified, “Our responsibility was to raise you to adulthood and provide you with a proper education. The properties are our assets, and we have the discretion to determine their distribution. Ultimately, the condominium will go to my brother.” Our parents allocate a considerable sum of money to assist in our brother’s education in Australia, while I have only attained a nursing diploma. They indicated that there are limited funds left after this support.
I should also mention that about ten years ago, my brother faced financial difficulties, incurring losses of around $500k in the Singapore penny stocks. At the peak of his investment journey, he amassed nearly $5 million by investing in just a few stocks. He proudly showcased the value of his shares to all our relatives by sharing screenshots. My parents helped him clear his debts, and I contributed $100k from my personal savings with help from my husband to support him. However, when I visited my parents, my mother often hinted to depart after just an hour, giving the impression that she didn’t appreciate my presence in her house.
I was deeply hurt by the unfair treatment I experienced, leading to heated disputes with my parents. During Chinese New Year, my parents would give my brother’s children $2000 in ang bao money, while my own children received only $50. They praised my brother for his filial care and support.
At numerous family gatherings, my parents and my brother’s family would begin eating before the agreed-upon meeting time, leaving my family with only leftovers or cold dishes when we arrived. When we eventually caught on to their strategy and arrived earlier with our kids in tow, we were sometimes referred to as ‘khiam-png’.
As time went by, my father’s health deteriorated, and they requested that I return home to care for them, knowing that I worked as a nurse. I resigned from my job to attend to my father until his passing. During his last three years, I had no income and solely depended on my savings and my husband’s income as a teacher. I purchased many tonics, healthcare products, and daily necessities for him. However, he did not leave me with any substantial inheritance, except for $10k in cash as compensation for my caregiving. My brother inherited all of my father’s assets, including the terraced house, condominium, CPF, shares investments, fixed deposits, and cash. After a series of family conflicts and mistreatment, I made the difficult decision to sever ties with both my mother and brother.
Now, with my mother’s health declining, my brother paid me a visit, hoping I would return to take care of our mother. He implored our relatives, “We were all nurtured in our mother’s womb for ten months, and our parents raised us. We must not forget our roots. Please consider coming home for a few days to take care of mother. It is our duty as children to provide for our parents, irrespective of any disagreements.” My brother also requested that I contribute to our mother’s medical expenses and upkeep which include hiring a maid. During his visit, I responded coolly at my doorstep, stating, “Those who have received the fortune should take on the responsibility of caring for our parents in their old age. I am unable to bear this burden as I’ve been treated as a outsider,” and I further expressed, “I cannot associate with parents who have treated me in this manner; they are beyond my reach.” Both my brother and our relatives have criticized me for being an unfilial daughter.
Recently, I learned that my brother is facing financial losses in his business ventures and is in the process of selling the inherited condominium to settle his debts.
Now, I have become the street rat in the eyes of my relatives. If I resign from my job once more to care for my mother, our family will be left with a sole source of income to support the tertiary education of two children.