How do I tell my partner of 2 years that he has always been bad in bed?
My partner and I have been together for a little over two years. We recently had a baby and I’ve only just been cleared to resume normal physical bedroom activities.
The initial warning sign was that I was very unexcited about this. My partner had been talking about it for a couple of weeks and was very much looking forward to it. I was worried it was going to hurt and expressed this to my partner.
Having a newborn has left us pretty tired, so it wasn’t until a couple of days after I was cleared that he tried have intercourse with me.
Essentially, I was asleep and he started to touch me and try to take off my pants (note: no penetration occurred before I was fully conscious – and I know he would have stopped if I asked him to).
This was something that happened a lot earlier in our relationship and it never bothered me, but last night I just didn’t feel into it. I went along with it anyway because I knew how much he was looking forward to us getting intimate again.
It was awkward and clunky. There were times it was uncomfortable and even painful for me, but he didn’t seem to notice. He finished and just collapsed back down into the bed and went to sleep. There was no foreplay, he pulled me onto my knees almost immediately because he can only come in doggy, and he didn’t even cuddle me after.
I’ve been quite sore today and have had a little bit of bleeding. It stings when I pee, which I think is from damaged skin – he spent a decent amount of time trying to find my vag and was jamming his D into everywhere else.
Unfortunately, this isn’t unusual. I think we fell into that pattern quickly and I didn’t really notice until we had this big break from it. He’s never really been that “giving” in the department and he says that’s because I don’t come often. He says he knows he is great in bed and has never had trouble “getting previous partners to come before.” Basically, it is all about him coming, and I’m really noticing the lack of intimacy in the lead up, during and after we have PIV.
I don’t know how to bring this up with him without hurting his feelings or him becoming defensive. We’re not going to be in a position to “spice things up” for a little while as it’ll be a few months until our baby is in a more predictable sleep routine and we’re both pretty tired most of the time. Do I just go through the motions with him until then?