They say the one that not being loved is the 3rd party?
Im a single mum with 2 young kids. In Dec 2020, i met this guy (C) through a dating app. We went out a few times and eventually got together despite I know he is married. He is not a local, his wife and boy don’t live with him all these years when he is in sg.
Last year, I found out that im pregnant, I decided to keep the baby without thinking about whether he will take the responsibility or not. I didn’t expect him to stay with me throughout the pregnancy journey until i gave birth. I never request him to get a divorce or plan anything for our future.
We are happy with the current status.
However, whenever he goes back to his home country to visit his family or when his wife came over for holiday with his boy, i feel kinda terrible.
He told me he and his wife still stay in the marriage because of the son, no more love between them, How do i know if this is true? He will still text me as usual when he is with his wife. I always wondering that whether his wife ever checked his phone? Now that i have his child, definitely easier to sense something wrong with the husband, is she really dont mind the husband having an affair?
I never want to be a 3rd party in someone’s marriage but its already the fact that we are together and we have a child together and i can really feel his love towards me and baby. Who is the 3rd party in this relationship?
Here are what netizens think:
You are the third party of course, how do u want to justify or gaslight the wife is actually the third party? Goodness u are just duped by a man who won’t divorce his wife and manage to have you be contented as the side chick having his illegitimate child. How silly is this? What’s going to happen to this child? Did u even think before u do anything? he can just leave and go back to his country anytime – can u wake up and do some planning for future?
There is no third party in this relationship. All are main characters! He loves you, and he has a wife whom he doesn’t love much, if at all.He probably doesn’t want to divorce his wife, as it’ll affect their son. His wife doesn’t know about his extramarital affair with you, but the rs between him & his wife is definitely not strong.He certainly loves you more than his wife, so he’s with you and didn’t mind having child with you.You can’t marry him, but you and your child are already an important part of his life. So just continue this way if that makes both of you happy.Plain & simple.
So he was married but still go on dating app where you met him? Well, not for us to judge, I guess. There are many situations like this where couples stay together on paper for their kids but actually live separate lives. He sounds like he does love you and the baby. If you are happy with this arrangement then what do you care who is third party? But I think it would suck if the wife found out he had another child even if there is no love between them. Also when your child grows up, how do you explain to him that his father has another wife and that he has a step-brother? If you do care, then have an honest talk about long term plans…..will there come a day when he finally divorces his wife? You are not asking for anything so I guess you are not getting anything and he can have the best of both worlds to his benefit. I would be checking if his profile is still on the dating app just to be sure.