My fiancé is calling off our wedding because of my past.
I’ve (28F) been with my (I guess ex…?)fiancé (31M) for about 2 years total. We got engaged last year when he popped the question shortly after I moved in with him. We were supposed to get married this year but he changed his mind.
Things were going great and normal until we had a conversation the other night about what I was up to before I met him.
He knew I was going through a “ho phase” at the time, but he didn’t know to what extent.
But the other night, he kept prying for details so I finally told him about a g-bang I had with 3 other guys. He is now disgusted with me.
He kept saying “I can’t believe you of all people would let yourself get used like that.” And “I just can’t look at you the same anymore.”
Now he is backing out of getting married with me. We’re still together but he says he has to keep thinking about whether or not he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
The last few days, living with him has been miserable. He is avoiding all eye contact and is just short and cold towards me in general. I don’t know what to do.
Should I have just lied about it and kept it a secret? Does he just need time to process it, or is the relationship doomed?
Netizens’ comments
- Young me would have never asked since I wouldn’t want to know the answer. Olderish, happily married me “tell me more”…. Time and experience are a funny thing
- I think it’s better to discuss past before getting engaged tbh
- Sounds like he moved too quick with you and should have had those questions earlier on. You’re allowed your fun and he’s allowed to not be ok with it.
- i’d lean towards it being doomed, it will always bother him and be a dark cloud over you two
- You’re getting starkly different responses because it has to do with a person’s values. Whether he should have asked is irrelevant because you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.