My [38F] fiancé [37M] only realized that he can’t find his passport the night before our honeymoon and now we can’t go.
Some context: a family member gifted this trip to us for our wedding. It’s the only “nice” thing we’re doing for the occasion because otherwise we’re going to just have dinner with family.
After a bad financial year, I’ve been the sole breadwinner and while he’s been very helpful around the house, it’s starting to breed resentment and fear in me. I’m so nervous that this event will only be gasoline on that fire.
Could you please give me some perspective? My fiancé is so kind and we get along so well and I love him dearly, but these lapses in judgement are beginning to grind me down. This was the kind of trip that we’ll never be able to afford on our own, so I’m feeling this hard
My fiancé only looked for his passport the night before our honeymoon and can’t find it so now we can’t go because we’re tight on cash and this was a gift. Please help me not go insane.
I wrote this post in the middle of the night as we were still looking for the passport. Hope remained that we might find it, We did not.
I honestly should have gone alone, but the one detail I left out above is that his aunt and her family were also going to be on this trip and I felt uncomfortable joining them without him.
I’m still really emotional and am perhaps not acting too rationally right now, but I’ll let you know whether I end up making it or not. I’m also not going to lie — I’ve said many, many things that I regret.
- You should still go. Set the expectation that you will not be missing out on good things on account of his irresponsible choices.
- Go on the trip without him. Maybe he’ll learn a lesson about not waiting until the last minute.
- I hate to ask but are you sure it’s not deliberate? My mum’s last husband had such terrible luck with passports including losing it while on holiday… once he’d got his hooks in properly he literally shredded his passport in front of her to punish her so they couldn’t go on a cruise she’d planned and paid for.
In the end I went with her instead which is the start of a very long and horrible story.
But anyway… under normal circumstances if this happened to someone they’d be frantic, mortified, hugely apologetic for ruining your chance at a lovely trip. Was he those things?