i just want to provide some context. my husband has been married previously, and have existing 2 young kids below the age of 10 (wonderful children! i treat them as my own even).
however, the ex wife hasn’t been particularly great to me, and has caused us many issues throughout the course of our relationship.
they are still residing together in the same house but in different bedrooms for the sake of co-parenting.
she doesn’t even know that he is married to me (as per lawyers’ advice to him, it’s best to not reveal this information as it may trigger her and cause her to disagree with the existing co-parenting plan, which is that the kids primarily reside with my husband other than the weekend).
i just found out i was pregnant 2 days ago, and waiting for my first prenatal appointment at 7 weeks in october and was extremely excited to start this chapter in my life.
my husband and i agreed that we would hold off from telling anyone until we hit 3months, so as to have everything stable so i haven’t even told my own parents who already disapprove of my husband.
i already feel so incredibly sad, i get to see my husband once a week at most, he’s staying with his ex wife, he won’t tell his ex wife about our marriage (because he thinks that she will not let the kids move out with him if he does) and i just feel so alone.
i feel like i have nobody to turn to, and i feel so miserable going through all of this alone. we will move in together in our new home in november, and i’ll be 3 months by then.
by the time the children live with us i’ll be 4 months – and he’s telling me that his lawyers advised that the ex wife who hates me, should be allowed in our home to check out the house.
i understand it’s because of co-parenting but i already feel so miserable as is. the ex wife literally told me that if i ever get pregnant with his child, i should remember my place and that i’ll never come before her and her kids.
i just don’t want to be in this position and i feel so lost.
my mother TOLD me that this would be exactly the problem, and i defended him again and again and told her this is what i wanted.
i completely f-ed over my relationship with my parents for a guy who doesn’t even prioritise me or our marriage. and now i am pregnant with his child, that he wanted so badly, and i’m still not a priority.