My (31M) son’s resemblance to my brother (30M) is shaking my confidence. How do I handle this while keeping my family together?
I am desperate for some guidance or advice. I have literally no idea what to do and the anxiety is too much.
“Clara” (28F) and I have been in a committed relationship for 8 years. We were over the moon when she gave birth to our son “Nathan” a couple of months ago.
It’s a joy watching him grow, but there’s been this lingering thought that I can’t shake off.
Nathan, as he’s beginning to show more distinct features, has started to look uncannily like my older brother “Alex.” Even friends and some family members are pointing out the resemblance.
Feeling overwhelmed, I approached Clara about my concerns. She seemed hurt but tried to reassure me by highlighting the genetic similarities within families and mentioning how Alex and I looked alike in our childhood photos.
The thought of a DNA test crossed my mind, but Clara is entirely against it, saying it undermines the trust in our relationship. I’m torn between my love for Nathan and the need for peace of mind.
How do I tackle this sensitively without jeopardizing my relationship with Clara? Is it unfair of me to want some sort of confirmation?
- My daughter looks exactly like my husband’s sister. It’s annoying as a mom because I kinda was expecting her to look like me (maybe not expecting, but hoping…lol). My husband and his sister do not look alike at all. It’s funny how genetics work!
- You are aware that a child gets access to your entire family tree for DNA, right? It’s not a button you hit that blends your features and your wife’s into some average of the both of you.
If the kid looked uncannily like your father or grandfather would you be acting like this? If the kid looked uncannily like one of her siblings would you be accusing her of incest?
- Come on mate. This sounds like something you need to unpack with a therapist. You are your brother share genes. You and your son share genes. I’ve got three kids and the whole family loves pointing out features that are ‘family traits’. It’s completely normal. As he ages you’ll find his face changes and he’ll look more like you, or your wife, or your father-in-law. It’s all good.