Im 31 years old and it’s not getting 31 is not getting any younger for a woman.
I’ve been on 4 dates with a 33y.o who I met on online dating a month and a half ago. Yesterday I wasn’t expecting a Valentines Day related gift or to hear from him because we don’t text every day. So it was a pleasant surprise to get a picture of him and his parents’ dog (he spent the weekend out of town at their place) texted to me yesterday.
I responded “Aw cuties ” and then probably did something I shouldn’t have and am now cringing at. I sent a GIF of Homer telling Marge “happy Valentine’s Day” where they’re just at the kitchen table, nothing implying love, hearts or flowers and he never responded.
It’s been 24 hours and I feel silly. We’ve never really talked about what we are looking for but have expressed we are interested and want to see where this goes. Also, he’s moving to another country for his graduate program.
Wondering if this is the cue for me to let it go and move on. We have plans to see each other on Sunday which we made over the weekend and I don’t know if that’s even going to happen anymore. I’m prone to anxious attachment and maybe I’m just overthinking things. Advice for handling the anxiety that comes with the early stages of dating?
Does anyone else have any Valentine’s Day blunders with new dates? Just me?
Here are what netizens think:
- You say you have anxious attachment and there’s a pattern with these types I observed. When the person they are dating is doing something negative, for example not showing enough interest (in your case: not responding to a text), instead of “judging” them based on this negatively perceived behaviour (like “wow lame, no text back”), they always see that negative behaviour as NEUTRAL (justified, good) and instead they put the negativity on themselves (“I sent an embarrassing thing, I did a bad thing”).
- I feel like that GIF would have been fine even if you’d just started talking THAT DAY. I wouldn’t assume it freaked him out. If it did, to reiterate what other commenters have been saying, I think that’s waaaay more about his attachment stuff than it is yours.
- As someone who overthinks every thing (and spends days in a shame spin and embarrassment cycle after doing something dumb), I can honestly promise you that sending a Simpsons GIF is not a big deal. It’s funny and lightweight, and you weren’t professing your undying love for the dude. You were literally just wishing him a happy holiday. I sent valentines messages to tons on people in a platonic sense.