Some people would hate me for sharing this. I am a slim girl naturally well-endowed. For Chinese girls, those with skinny limbs, small hips and flat stomach usually have flat or small chests. To give you some perspective, it is a 36C. And I am only 162cm and 48kg.
I’ll be honest… I do enjoy the attention. Sometimes, I wear push-ups and straighten my back to make my assets more obvious. Other times, I don’t even wear a bra, and even though it doesn’t look as big, the nips are visible. I am proud of it, and I like to low-key show off, though I never say it out loud. Sometimes, I even unbutton the top 2 buttons of my shirt or angle my posture such that people can get a sneak peek of my bare breasts through an opening in my shirt. I know this sounds really perverted and twisted af, but I think I might be an exhibitionist. I hope you don’t judge me.
I know that many girls are jealous and many guys fantasize about me – and I have caught many staring, including teachers and dads of my friends. It gives me a devilish kind of happiness when I hear that my chest is the talk of the town. I’m sorry if you feel like telling me off at this point. But this is me.
But recently, for the first time in 24 years, I felt sad after wondering if having huge assets is the only thing that I will ever be known for. And I feel empty.
What happened was this: I just broke up with my ex-bf over text for personal reasons, and he was really upset. I understand why he was angry, but I could not have anticipated the stuffs that happened later.
Out of spite, he revealed that the only thing he wanted in the relationship was to get access to my “girls” and describe them to his guy friends. He even told me that his guy friends had all seen me without clothes in the photos that he took, and I was just a conquest for him to show off his exploits. Wtf right.
What an asshole. To verify, I asked a mutual friend who was in that gang, and he admitted after me probing for some time that he showed them those private photos on his phone but never sent them electronically. I had never felt more offended and insulted in my life. I remember I was so angry that I was screaming my head off in my room and throwing and breaking things, and my sister almost wanted to tie me up. I let this douchebag take my virginity, use me to fulfil all his deviant fantasies and I had only ever given myself to him and nobody else in my entire freaking life! And he just bloody treated it like it meant nothing to him! I was so furious that I even entertained the idea of hooking up with his brother or his boss, who is a friend of mine, just to get back at him. I actually sent out a video message saying “Hey, want to hook up I really want this”, but recalled it shortly after thank goodness for Telegram’s recall function. Eventually, common sense got the better of me and I didn’t end up doing anything rash. Now, I still feel angry enough to feel shortness of breath every time I think about this, but at least I am rational enough not to do something I’ll regret.
Now that I am here, I want to ask. How do I filter out the guys who are only after my chest? How can I give people the impression that I am more than just my body parts? I can’t be wearing oversized tees all the time, and I love my girly wardrobe. Also, I am a young woman, and I still want to flaunt it a little. In a way, I do have to show off cos I sometimes get paid to advertise stuffs on my public IG and TikTok account. Is there a way to find a balance? If yes, how to achieve it?