Of late, I’ve seen a lot of posts talking about financial issues, difficulty with housing, relationship/ intimacy problems, etc. faced my people & couples in their late 20s, early 30s.
I’m writing my own experience with no intent to offend anyone, or show off. Just share that these are normal and can be dealt with.
We are a couple in our early 30s, expat & living in Singapore for about 5 years with a toddler.
Pay & finance: When we first moved, one of us was earning 7k & the other 5k. At the moment, we earn12.5k & 8k.
Both of us put away at least 50% of our salary towards savings & investment. Till date, just have about 100k in cash & 150k in investment. Own no property, vehicles, etc. We plan with the goal of retiring from full time employment maintaining the same lifestyle when we hit 45.
Living: We upgraded from renting a 1 bedder to a 2 bedder to currently a 3 bedder. We live at a fairly mature condo outside the city centre to have access to a larger than average house and all the condo facilities. Our rent is 2.9k.
We toyed with the idea of renting a newer property closer to the city, but couldn’t rationalize the rent.
Lifestyle: We do not spend on luxuries like Starbucks, or regularly eating at fancy cafes & restaurants. Neither do we spent on electronic, home appliances, jewellery & trinkets.
We usually do 1 date night and 1 family outing every 2 weeks that costs about $200 in total.
The only major enjoyment spend on is travel – we generally do 4-5 holidays per year, but plan for it way in advance – make our bookings & reservation months before, try to stay with friends & family whenever possible. Each trip usually cost us 2k to 15k (depending on where we go). Generally do just one high end trip.
Relationship/ intimacy: we are in a overall good & stable relationship. Like all things, there are ups & downs but we do agree that at the end of the day we talk about it with each other, share our views and accept each others differences & the challenges we face.
Our bedroom activities life took a hig hit after the baby. From going at it 2-3 times a week even during our pregnancy, we went to doing it maybe once every few months. It was very frustrating – YES! But we talked about it, understood each other and are in a much better place today.
We are still picking up the pieces of this aspect of life, acknowledge that it’s not going back to how it was, but we will make it work.
For those who may be wondering about our careers growth – we are both uni graduates, and Singapore wasn’t where we started our careers. Neither did we focus on taking up additional full time or part time education. What we did do was to always be open to every opportunity at work that’s presented itself to learn from & do more, not necessarily immediately having any short term financial gain.
Neither of us were star students while at school & uni, and we don’t put that pressure on our child too. We value hard work, working smartly and the can do attitude more important than paper credentials.
Advice to those that are struggling: don’t compare your life with others, everyone has their own story to write and do it at your own pace. Dont succumb to parental & peer pressure, or the general trend of the right thing to do.
Work hard and more importantly work smart at your job.
You do YOU!