I (32M) think I need to break up with my girlfriend (43F) due to problems with our age difference.
My girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year and overall our relationship has been good. Our age 11 year age difference did concern me at first because I thought we would have different expectations of our relationship so I was very clear with my girlfriend about what I want in our relationship before getting too serious.
Before we officially started dating, I straight up told her that I want to take my time with everything and don’t want to rush anything. I told her that marriage was something I wanted but definitely not in the near future (atleast 3 years of dating).
I also told her that I didn’t want kids until I was atleast married for one year. I was honest and direct with how I view the relationship at the start so that there were no surprises. She completely agreed with me on everything and told me that she has no rush. So nothing was holding us back.
The first big problem in our relationship occured at right about 6 months. My gf all of a sudden told me that she wanted to move in together despite only being together for half a year. I definitely didn’t feel comfortable with this this early into our relationship so I told her that.
I reiterated that I didn’t want to rush anything and that I would feel comfortable moving in if we were together for a year. This caused a few serious arguments between us.
We have now been together for about a year and recently some other concerns have been brought to my attention. Recently while discussing moving in together since we both feel ready for it, she told me that she wants to be married by the time our 2nd year anniversary comes around and that she even wants to be pregnant.
So she basically expects a proposal from me in the next few months. I straight up told her that I’m not ready to propose yet any time soon and reiterated again that I don’t want to rush anything I’m not comfortable with. This lead to another big argument about our expectations of our relaitonship.
Now I’m really doubting if this relationship is good for the both of us since we both have very different timelines about what we desire in our relationship despite me being very clear about my expectations from the start.
I don’t want to feel pressured by my partner into anything but that’s how I exactly feel right now. I don’t see a solution where the both of us are happy and fullfilled wihtin our relationship. I think that I definitely need to narrow my future dating to only women that are younger than me so situations like these don’t occur again.
Do you guys think there is anyway to resolve this matter without anyone resenting eachother? Or do I have to accept that it is over and search for a younger partner who also isn’t in a rush about the future,