I’m spending my 30th birthday alone
Not intentionally, but I don’t have anyone. I was already feeling self conscious about turning 30 and the lack of anything I’ve done with my life and constant failures. My spouse is still in jail.
I lost contact with all of my friends after graduating school and the one time I reached out to them I was told to piss off.
I’ve never been good at making new friends ( I’ve been told I’m a weird, awkward extrovert. ) I was fine with not having friends because I had my spouse until this recent nonsense.
My son is in bed and I’m sitting here in an old chair watching my favorite movie ( Titanic ) and I don’t even have a beer to keep me company.
Just my thoughts about everything I’ve failed at in life: I was never able to drive thanks to epilepsy, goodbye my dreams of becoming a paleontologist, so long money, traveling, publishing a book.
I desperately want / need to cry, but it’s stuck in my throat and the tears just won’t come. I feel so stuck, helpless, and more than anything, alone.
Happy 30th birthday to me.