18M, how do I get over my fear of women
All my life I’ve yearned for connections with my classmates and girls that I’ve liked but I’ve been too scared of getting rejected by people to approach someone ever. I actually consider myself an extrovert because I constantly want people in my life but not once have I mustered up the courage to approach someone and indicate that I want to be friends/more with them.
Any time I see a group of friends of boys and girls or hear about stories of people sleeping with/loving their significant other i get sad because I’ve desperately wanted that my entire life.
I’ve missed out on my entire school social life, I fumbled my incredibly stunning crush that I’m 97% sure liked me too for 3 years because I’ve been too terrified to say anything to her. Because I have a brother the same age as me ive always hanged out with him and never learned how to approach new people, im completely socially stunted.
Im at the point in my life where I want to have friends again and more importantly to find a girlfriend for the first time. I dont even feel any pressure about losing the title “virgin” I just desperately yearn for the feeling of it since my love language is physical touch, even just cuddling and being able to embrace a woman’s body is something I yearn for.
I consider myself a very attractive person, I’m tall, am blessed in the pants and have a nice face so I’m sure it’d be easy to get a girlfriend but I’m constantly mentally blocking myself because I don’t know how to have a conversation with women, I’m terrified of the awkward silences of the first date, I feel like I’d stutter, mess up my words, be terribly uninteresting, be constantly twitching and that scares the shit out of me. Expressing my need for connections with others scares me, because im terribly afraid of rejection.
To start off being more comfortable with women I thought that it would be a good idea to start having a bunch of hookups since I don’t have to talk much and I can get that fear of women out of my head.
Do you have any advice for someone in my position?