being reluctant to cover my gfs half of rent?
I’m a 34m and have been with my 30F gf for 4 years, living together for 3+ years.
We’re very close, she’s a fantastic partner and I adore her. She’s done a lot for me financially, because she helped support me through a career transition and then my new career was impacted by covid and she helped me a lot.
Last year she covered my half of rent for about 6 months. The thing is though is that I only ever asked once or twice, and she always made it sound like it was a gift. She even explicitly told me she would cover my rent for 3 months so I could have some breathing room to pay down my credit cards.
Though I’m now out of credit card debt, I don’t have nearly as much of a savings as her. I know she has 10k in her bank account at all times (because she’s told me this and shown me this before). I only have 2.5k in my bank account at this moment.
My gfs job just went haywire with problems and is laying off the whole staff and giving them $250 a week for 6 weeks as severance pay. It’s a nightmare and she’s freaking out.
She asked me if I could maybe cover her half of rent come may 1st while she spends this month trying to find a new job because she doesn’t want to touch her savings.
I said sure, but she could tell I was uncomfortable. She asked why I answered reluctantly and I told her because I don’t even have a savings.
I can tell she feels guilty now even though I said yes.
Netizens’ comments
- Yes, given your explanation and the hit she has taken financially to support you, it seems odd that you would react that way.
- Lets be clear. By your admission, she has covered an entire months rent for 6 months, and there likely were other financial benefits provided by her. You’ve been living together for over 3 years.
Now it’s her turn to have a crisis, and asks you to cover her for a single month, only rent, and you flinched.
Your instinct is to immediately calculate that there’s no personal benefit for you, and to recoil from it. I truly hope for her sake this is the confrontation that ends the relationship. This level of selfishness doesn’t get resolved with therapy. She deserves someone who is willing to be as caring and selfless as she is, and you deserve someone as transactional as you are.