My boyfriend think that I should do things for him, if I want to f him ( deserving it ) this is red flag right ?
We’ve been together for a bit more than a year. And at first, everything was fine. We had a good relationship and everything was all good and fun in the bedroom. It was often and natural, wasn’t forced at all. We f whenever we were in the mood.
But recently ( this last month) he had been acting different, telling me that if I wanted to f him, I should deserve it.
Basically, I should do good things, good deeds ( just for him). Like, cooking diner, or compliment him, helping him with things when he asks me too, clean the house,…
He wasn’t like that at the beginning and I want to help or be nice to him, but I don’t want to do it, because I need to do it in order to get my satisfaction. I never had anyone telling me, I should deserve it if I wanted it.
I’m thinking of ending the relationship, because I’m scared it’s going to be worst and that he’s trying to turn me into his maid or his thing.
I just can’t recognise him. Was he being on his best behaviour at the beginning and showing his true self now ? I’m also embarrassed to talk about to relatives or close friends.
Netizens’ comments
- You are correct. Using intimacy to control you is low. There can be such a thing as teasing and enticing you with a wild time as a form of appreciation and gratitude if you help with chores, and even then it’s something that needs to be agreed on by both parties.
Using the word “deserving” and withholding intimacy is pure controlling attitude. Either call him out on it and see if he realizes he’s being out of hand or dump him if he doesn’t acknowledge his behavior - 100%. Take it from me – I had a FWB who wanted me to keep a log of food I ate and, if he approved of my diet, then I would be rewarded. Once he said that to me, I NOPED out of that one real fast.
- In a relationship, you should both do things for one another to better each other and increase the total value of your union
- Run sister.