We met in September, been basically inseparable ever since. He made it official on valentine. We had a rough start but he promised he would work on his issues and so far he has been absolutely amazing.
I have these doubts about his honesty even though he hasn’t given me reason to. In fact, he does many small things that should, in theory, show me that he is committed and honest about his feelings for me.
One of the things he does that I appreciate the most is that he calls me whenever he can squeeze in any time between jobs, even when he’s with other people. He also says some pretty damn sweet and romantic things about/to me in front of/to his friends, which is a big one for me because of the type of person he is—aside from his incredible sense of humor (he is the funniest person I’ve ever met), he is a pretty serious, straight to the point, get to work, no time to screw around and no BS kinda guy so
Whenever he expresses his love, appreciation, and adoration the way he does, as often as he does, it’s always kind of a surprise to me. Plus, there’s the fact that he spends most of his non-working hours with me and spends every night at my place. That counts for something, right? Lol.
So far my doubts and suspicions have always been proven wrong and I end up feeling like a total idiot. A few days ago I made a comment that suggested I have the suspicion that he’s only in it for the “special”, and he later admitted he was pretty hurt by that.
Why can’t I fully enjoy my relationship and this love that I am lucky enough to have found?
This is honestly what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I have always wanted a man who isn’t afraid to show how much he cherishes me, who says the most beautiful things, who constantly compliments me and shows me his desire for me, who is so considerate of what I might want and need even when we’re not together, whose actions clearly show that he thinks of me throughout the day, who acts like an old school gentleman… sometimes he doesn’t even let me put my own shoes on for fucks sake. I feel like I hit the jackpot, and the fact that he talks about forever, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and how I am the last and only woman he ever needs… it all feels so so perfect.
So I’m afraid my own trust issues will lead me to remain very skeptical, like I’ll want to keep myself at a “small” distance at all times, which could easily ruin everything eventually. How do I get over that?! How do you get rid of your trust issues?