I already know the comments here are going to drag me to hell, but I need to get this off my chest because the hypocrisy in this country is sickening. I’m tired of being painted as the villain.
I (45M) am successful. I own a SME, we’re doing well, I make low six-figures monthly. I work my butt off, okay? 14-hour days, endless client dinners, networking—all that. And where does the money go? It goes into my wife’s supplementary card, the HDB (it’s paid off), the condo we just investment-purchased, the daughter’s tuition fees, and the son’s upcoming overseas study fund.
So, I have a Xiao San. She’s 26, local. Pretty, bubbly, actually listens to my problems without rolling her eyes. And yeah, I treat her well. I bought her a Mercs, I pay her rent. But that is my money. Money I earned after securing my family’s entire future. I’ve met all my responsibilities!
The most frustrating part is everyone judging me, but my wife (45F) knows. I’m sure of it. I’m not that subtle. My phones are often left out, I’m ‘overseas’ frequently, my spending on ‘corporate gifts’ is high. And she doesn’t care! She hasn’t confronted me. In fact, she seems happier lately.
Why? Because she has everything she wants! She doesn’t work. She goes for high tea with her friends, goes shopping in Orchard, and our domestic helpers do all the work. She benefits from my success. We live like royalty compared to most Singaporeans. If she truly hated it, wouldn’t she leave? Wouldn’t she scream? No, she’s satisfied with the transaction.
People keep calling this immoral, but this is a system that works for everyone. I maintain the family facade and the wealth. The Xiao San gets stability. My wife keeps her comfortable, unstressful life.
The issue isn’t my Xiao San; the issue is that society insists men should be selfless providers and emotionally available saints. It’s impossible. I’m human. I need appreciation, and I can buy it with the wealth I created. Stop judging a dynamic you don’t understand. I am the reason this family survives.