I’m a pervert but i get away with everything only because im a girl.
Since secondary school, if i saw any handsome attractive man at crowded areas like MRT gantries or shops, I would casually brush my breast against the back of their elbows and wait. The same scene plays out over and over: the man would freeze, turn around slowly, eyes widening in shock upon seeing me and then they will start profusely apologising.
I especially love it when they are with other guy friends because they will start whistling and playfully shout ”eh apologize leh” while i act all innocent and tell them its alright. Before the world went to hell i enjoyed my daily MRT commutes to MBFC because well, looking at men wearing slim fit work pants makes mornings so much better. Its really obvious to spot any lingering morning wood.
I got caught staring a few times but usually the men will just sheepishly turn their attention back to their phones. I cant emphasise how much i love public transport. On the weekends when guys wear shorts and manspread the view is perfect. I cant wait until all this is over so i can enjoy my scenery again.
There was even once i saw a secondary school boy and involuntarily started poking my tongue against my cheek while maintaining eye contact with him. All in all, if it werent for the fact that im a girl in my early twenties with a cute face and slim body, i would probably be writing this from changi prison.
I also just wanted to say that if im ever caught at least im an NUS alumni with good grades and a bright future.