I had a crush on this girl who was in my clique. However, she turned me down because I was not her type. I am you average normal guy except I am very smart academically.
We usually studied together as a group and I helped everyone. She later went on to date this rich and handsome guy. Since then, she started appearing lesser in our clique meetings and for lessons as well. However, she would message me for lecture/tutorial notes because my notes were well organised and useful.
I felt as though I was being used a little but I just said to myself that I am just helping as a friend. Then, there were also some disturbing signs that she was being physically abused. We tried to talk to her about it but she refused to talk about it.
Once, we confronted her boyfriend about this and she started scolding and raging at us instead. We stopped pursuing it and just focused on studying together. I saw her crying once and just sat with her. We did not really talk much but I was just there for her. This happened a few times and sometimes, she would call me just be with her.
She did not call the others because they were fed up with her attitude. I was the “nice” guy. I never understood why she picked such an abusive guy over me. The worst part was that she stayed in the relationship despite the abuse which made me so darn confused.
The toxic relationship became worse and to a point where he was blackmailing her. She was already at her limit. She called me to be with her but this time, I had an interview for my dream company. She knew I had this interview but she was so distressed and was suicidal. I had a choice. I had prepared for this interview for the past month and had already gone through 2 intense rounds.
I could go for the interview and hear on the news that my friend committed suicide. So, I told the interviewer that I could not attend the interview and they said that I would be dropped which I had to accept.
I went to her and convinced her not to do anything stupid. It took a while but their relationship was resolved (not going to go through the details here). I was there to support and actually did quite a bit of fair things to get it resolved like talking to lawyers and stuff. I did not go for internship that summer because of this. Then, we got together, married and lived happily ever after. The end. Ok the last line did not happen because this is not the movies, it is real life.
She had to recover from the past relationship which took her months of therapy. I did help her along the way. I knew in my heart that we would not get together. I did not do it to make her fall in love with me. I just did it as a friend. I pained me to see her like that state.
She was the prettiest girl in my course and she had such an upbeat personality before the relationship. After a while, she slowly started to reply my messages after a few days. She did not talk as much to me as before. I felt as though we were growing apart. We stopped meeting and when I asked to meet, she would say that she is busy or not reply.
Due to the situation in SG, our lessons became online so we don’t see each other physically that much. Then, I found out that she got into another relationship. This time another rich and handsome guy.
Although this guy was not physically abusive, he was obnoxious and controlled her. I guess he was not that bad. I found this out through a mutual friend accidentally. I guess that is her type. I felt so bad, not because she did not choose me this time but because I felt used.
She did not tell me about her new relationship. I gave up my dream internship and so much of my time for her and she did nothing for me. She still asked me for my notes right before the exams. Half my mind was just to ignore her message and delete/block her number. I just ignored the message because I was pissed.
However, I felt bad and guilty as though I am doing something wrong instead. In my heart, I felt really bad as days went by. In the end, I did what my heart told me and sent the notes. What do I do here? I knew ignoring her was the right action but my heart kept on pestering me. I don’t know how to proceed here. The worst thing that could happen is that she calls me to support her again when her boyfriend sends her into an emotional downfall.
I know I want to ignore it but I know my heart will make me go and help her. Any advice here?