So it’s been a week since my ex and parted ways. It was not amicable, but it was necessary!
The relationship had started going south due to her mental health issues (literally siao lang). She had a diagnosis that wasn’t helpful after a biopsy due to her chronic health issues. All I wanted to do is help her and try to support her as best as I could.
She had been the most supportive and empathic person in my life and all I wanted to do was try to help her. She would not accept my help with small tasks or small gestures to help her out. Instead, she said it made her feel incompetent.
Things took a turn when one night she wasn’t doing well and I missed her call.
I tried calling back and asked if everything was alright, she then blew up on me for asking if everything was alright. And according to her, that was incredibly insensitive given what was going on in her life and asking if everything is okay made her upset.
After a lengthy phone call where there was a lot of blaming, I told her it was done. I was emotionally exhausted and I could not cope anymore as I tried my best to help her. In retrospect, I did try to solve her problems to a degree which wasn’t helpful at all. That was my mistake, but after repeatedly asking what I can do to help, she ignored it. She wouldn’t accept my help and I there was nothing I could do.
I told her that she will never see or hear from me again as I would need to heal from this relationship. That meant that the communication would stop and I would cease to exist in her life.
She felt that was an ultimatum and cruel to make her either choose to stay with me or see her again. I reaffirmed that it wasn’t and that as the relationship was ending, I had to do what was best for myself now. It continued with her bashing me for having the support that I have in my life and that she had nothing.
We got the point of the conversation saying that I had left some stuff at her place. She said how do I want it back and I told her to leave with the neighbours (who is my good friend) and she refused to have him involved.
I told her I didn’t want to see her and she should send it back to me which she refused as well. She insisted on coming to meet me and return the items with some stuff she made for me.
I felt she was trying to emotionally manipulate and hold on to whatever connection she had with me instead of cutting it down.
I told her to donate my stuff which caused her to lash even more. The conversation ended and I blocked her on everything. Have I made a mistake for cutting her off permanently and blocking her?