Hi guys, I really need your advice. My bf and I have been together for about 11 years now, we met each other in our secondary school days. Things started to take a turn a few years ago when he suddenly got addicted to gambling.
He was very heavily in debt and I have to step in to help clear it up. It totaled to about 40-50k and cost me my whole savings. It was an on-off addiction so during like the 3/4th time when he went back to gambling, he wanted to break off with me because he felt that he was pulling me down.
But I really couldn’t let him go because I know that If I were to leave him then he’s really all alone and I just couldn’t bear to do that. He worked really hard to quit off his addiction for me, and was finally about to cut it off completely this year. I know that during all these times, he was super stressed up with money issues so I told him, don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it so he can just earn as much as he can while on his delivery job.
The problem is that he currently has a lot on his plate, so much so that his monthly income couldn’t cover his expenses. He has to pay for his house bills, his work bike and his other sportbike for leisure. So as and when he doesn’t have enough, I’ll lend him the shortage and he’ll return me the following month when he has enough. The problem is I only take home about 2k per month and after I deduct monthly expenses and allowance for my parents, I really don’t have much left.
His COE for the sports bike is due next year and I told him that maybe we should renew the COE and sell off that bike because we really couldn’t afford it. But he said that riding is his passion and the only thing that is making him happy and he doesn’t wanna give it up. The problem is we don’t even have enough for the COE renewal and needs to loan from the bank, which is gonna add to our monthly expenses.
When I bring up the money issue, he mentioned that I’m no longer supporting him as I used to before. I told him that i still am but we got to start thinking of the future and can’t be like this forever. He said that I’m stressing him and if I ever bring this up again he’ll break up with me. Am I doing it all wrong?
Honestly, even as I’m writing this, I’m on the verge of crying because I just don’t know what to do.
I can’t talk to anyone about this, not even my friends or family.. Please help me out