My girlfriend doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents growing up (due to various issues such as biasness towards her other sibling etc.) and was away from home for a few years but moved back home just before we got together.
Recently, she has been staying over at my place quite regularly and goes home only once in ~2 weeks. I have been encouraging her to go home at least once a week to see her family and spend a little time with them but instead she feels like I am pushing her away to ‘have my own time’ which honestly I don’t really need.
On the other hand, I have a fairly good relationship with my parents and I have always hoped for my girlfriend to mend her relationship with her parents too ever since we have been together and I knew of her strained relationship with her family. That is why I ask her to go home about once a week to see her parents and spend some time with them, and it would also give her parents a better impression of me as I would not be seen as someone who kind of ‘stole’ their daughter from them (considering that she stays over at my place almost everyday). I have also suggested having meals with her parents once in a while but she is kind of reluctant to do so as she said her parents would most likely not be up for it.
On the rare days that my girlfriend does go home, I feel that she talks to her parents and sibling pretty rudely and I have always reminded her to be more polite when having conversations with them. She is not rude by nature and talks nicely to everyone else, even my parents.
Everytime I bring up the point about the way she treats her parents, my girlfriend would start to be angry and insist that I don’t and won’t understand since I have a good relationship with my parents. I have explained to her that I don’t stand to gain anything by reminding her to watch her tone when she talks to her parents and asking her to treat them better, but my gut tells me that I can’t not do anything seeing her treat her parents in this way. Afterall I’m like an outsider/ third party and I can be ignorant about this issue if I really want to.
Over the course of our relationship, this issue has been one that has caused us to argue sometimes. My girlfriend feels that I don’t understand and can never understand her relationship with her parents but I am trying my best to do so. Her believe stems from the fact that we come from different family backgrounds and she doesn’t have the family support which I have growing up all these years.
Any advice on how I can solve this recurring issue with my girlfriend?