My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. A few months ago we moved in with one another. My partner earns a lot more than me but got himself into a lot of debt when we broke up briefly prior to moving in together by going on a drinking spree (if it matters I was the one who left him, for different reasons). When we got back together and agreed to move in with each other he was adamant that we take a fancy apartment, which I thought was a waste of money. We ended up taking something cheaper, but even when just paying for myself, the cost is still double monthly what I was paying for in my old apartment (for him it’s cut his living costs by half).
In the midst of things – my partner has been very stressed about money. It’s become all he talks about. I sympathise with this as he does work hard so he’s not a ‘bum’. He spends most his time indoors, depressed and drinking cheap wine. Accordingly, I’ve ended up paying all of our bills (including food and all other expenses), and I’ve been transferring big chunks of money weekly to help him pay off his debts. He always says he’ll pay me back some of it on payday and that he’ll look for a better-paid job but never does. I’ve lost a lot of my savings supporting him this way and I can’t afford it long term as I’m not a big earner myself.
The other day, I went out with friends and he proceeded to ignore me for three days straight afterwards – as in every time I tried to approach him he told me to F off & wouldn’t speak with me. I have attachment issues and ended up getting (admittedly) very upset and angry and yesterday I screamed that he just uses me as a cash cow. He went mental and ended up sending me a list of 20 things he hates about me (some very personal, and quite frivolous, like the fact I’m from a low-class background) and said that he’s moving out.
My friends say I’m in the right but I can’t help but feel I was nasty in saying this, especially because he’s been so honest about how his financial situation is impacting his mental health.