hey, i just need more input on a situation that happened to me 2 weeks ago.
so i was on a work trip for 1 month and i was living with new people, all my colleagues. we all discovered and got to know each other during that trip as neither of us knew anyone.
as weeks passed i became really good friends with a guy. He became my confidant, the person i would always laugh with, etc… a nice friendship.
However towards the end of my stay, he started making jokes about us showering together or sleeping in the same bed. he was an attractive guy and sometimes i would be attracted by him.
Fast forward to my last night on the trip, we both were back from the club, he was drunk and i was just tipsy, and around 7 AM we went to my room and we fk.
It was more him using my body as a toy, something for him to empty his balls in but i didn’t mind on the spot. Then after he finished in my mouth, he said “well, that was your departure gift. That was good.”
Then he said he was still drunk, put back his clothes and dapped me. he said he couldn’t stay to sleep with me because he didn’t want the others to know (which i agree, we didn’t want our roommates to know), and then he left.
on the spot that didn’t bother me, as i needed some time to processed that just fked my best friend on the trip.
But now, i start to think it was kinda wrong to leave like this. i feel like in a moment like this, some aftercare can’t hurt me?
especially bc i was more vulnerable because it was a friend. so there’s something to unpack lol. i wonder what he thinks of me. was it just something to empty out his balls, did he care about me but just didn’t wanna get caught?
i have so many questions and i’m trynna clear my head.
I hope you’re all doing well. I recently experienced a situation that left me feeling unsure, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
When dropping off my dad at various places, my girlfriend tends to stay in the car to say goodbye instead of getting out to say goodbye.
This has led to some scolding from my dad, who seems to expect a more traditional farewell. Interestingly, the only time my girlfriend gets out of the car to say goodbye is when we’re dropping my dad off at the airport.
I wanted to get a variety of perspectives on whether her choice was inappropriate or if it’s a matter of personal preference.
What do you think? Is it important to follow traditional greetings in these situations, or is it acceptable to adapt based on personal comfort levels? I appreciate your insights and look forward to a thoughtful discussion.
Thanks!
Netizens’ comments
Next time, just tell your gf to get out of the car, set up a long red carpet lined with diamonds for your father when saying goodbye. Make sure your girlfriend is kneeling on the ground with her forehead pressed against the floor, crying with streaks of tears in her face as your father walks away, to show that she can’t bear to see him leave. After that set off fireworks like it’s NDP for your father once the goodbye has been said. Then he won’t kaopeh kaobu anymore, k?
Traditional? Never heard about this being “traditional” Dropping off around SG is not a significant event hence just say goodbye in the car. Dropping off at the airport can be significant because it may be a while before you see them again so I can understand why people want to accompany them as much as possible. Either way, getting a scolding is ridiculous.
I’m curious what is defined as a traditional farewell? Handshake? Hugs? Kisses? Bow? Kneel on the floor till the person leaves?
I assume you’re driving? Does he also expect you to put the car in park and get out of the car to say bye? Does he also get out of the car to say bye if you drop off your gf with him in the car? Alot of these traditions and “respect” is just to exert a sense of “I’m above you” I feel
A one year pause from work every 5 years should be absolutely normal
After working for the past 15 years, I am seriously considering to just quit my job and to live a year from my savings and just travel the world – read – excercise – spend time with my loved ones – do something for my health etc
Yet I see all these posts where people who did this are then treated like lunatics when they apply for their next job. Seriously? If you dare to quit the Hamster wheel for one year there is supposed to be something wrong with you?
Its sick that this is seen as “something wrong”. Our productiviy has increased tremendously so this is something that should easily be achievable.
Netizens’ comments
Thats basically what Ive done for the past 20 years. Wasn’t my long term plan initially it just worked out that way. Its been good
I completely agree with you. I’ve seen people say they circumvent all of that by simply saying they took off to be caretaker of a loved one. People usually drop it after that & don’t ask questions bc of how poor taste it is.
As someone who fits the “people who quit the hamster wheel” it really sucks, because now that I am ready to get back into work and more excited than ever to find a job and learn new skills I keep getting denied, no call backs after interviews. I feel like one of the biggest thing most employers want is someone with an already crushed soul, because they know someone like me will move on to greener pastures without hesitation if I’m unhappy with where I am working. Whereas most employees will just tolerate whatever shitty work environment because they’re stuck living paycheck to paycheck. Everyone needs a break and I know the only reason I’m not getting called back after interviews is because of that couple months break I just took, it’s the only thing they ever mention that seems off to them and I never had issues finding a job before hopping off the wheel. Regardless the break was very much needed and my mental health can’t thank me enough, even if I’m now broker than I’ve ever been, my mental health is at the best place its ever been.
I recently just moved to a foreign country all by myself. So I decided to make new friends through dating apps, don’t judge. I’ve been single for the past 2 years and also been looking to meet someone who can potentially be my significant others.
Anyways, I matched with this dude 29(M). We vibes straight off the bat, his level of craziness matches with mine.
I enjoy chatting with this person and 1 week in of texting, we decided to meet in person. So he find me after work, we were just basically warming up to each other, went for dinner before everything closes and he walked me home (we literally walk 30min back home).
All was okay, not the best because I can sense there’s a guarded wall. CONTEXT- When we matched he told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious, he is not ready and just wanna be friends. Which I am totally fine with that.
From then we continue, text, meet up, and he would even talk on the phone with me for hours. Which I find absolutely weird. Platonic, newly met friends normally don’t talk so much. So I asked him, are we still on the same page of being just friends and he was like yeahh.
Fast forward, we fck. After that he was treating me like sht, I can sense his action because he doesn’t want me to fall for him. But I mean I like him as a person, I don’t Love him. I was really unhappy how he disrespected me.
I had fwb in the past and all treated me well and with respect but this dude, his layers of concrete wall is next level. I can tell he is a nice person but he chose to be an absolute d!ck.
Then he suddenly out of nowhere (btw we were texting just fine couple hours ago) unfollowed me. I was mad about it and dumbfounded.
Like WHYYYY, does he has feeling for me that’s why he unfollow me? Is he hidding something from me? Did I did something wrong? Am I overthinking? Idk man, I wished he can communicate it to be maturely, then doing such petty actions. But I’m even pettier for even wanting to understand his action. Or u should say naive, to want to believe there’s a good side of him.
as per the title, I am a 20M and have been kicked out of my house due to some conflicts between me and my mum.
My mum is a divorcee and said she’s currently have a hard time keeping me and told me to live with my dad. However my dad is currently living with his new wife and basically abandoned us long time ago.
I just started working part time while schooling, so i do not have that much savings with me. I currently am worried where should i be living and can i know what i should be doing next?
Netizens’ comments
There are temporary shelters at some churches u can stay there
Hello Op, also, how are you funding your education now? I assume you are studying full time in a local Polytechnic? If need help with your education fees etc, also talk to your school’s student services to see how they can help. It might have reduce your expenses.
She cannot kick you out of a HDB if you are a listed occupant. Ask the SPF to attend when you return.
Technically, you are right. But she can very well make it a hostile environment for OP if he returns.
Hey bro, if you need free food and shelter, go to any sikh temple (Gurdwara), tell them your situation and ask them if you can stay over. They should be able to accomodate a place for you to stay temporarily and you’ll have free food daily no questions asked. Take care man, and i hope the other suggestion work out as well.
Hi OP! I’m late to this party but do get your housing sorted as soon as possible. May sound weird, but it’s illegal to be homeless in Singapore. Usually, what would happen is an immediate offer to get you in a small flat with a low cost of rent ($70/month). However, you are still an occupant of your registered address, so that causes problems. If you do not wish to return home, do the necessary procedures at ICA/HDB. In the meantime, try to live with a relative or a friend. Keep fighting!
https://homeless.sg/ you can go to homeless hearts of Singapore to get some short term support, they should be able to fund your stay at a hostel for a week or so, and help you look for longer term solution
If you’re currently in Polytechnic, u can reach out to the counsellor’s there to see if they could help u with providing a shelter to u.
AITA for only paying for my wife and I at a restaurant?
I (24m) and my wife (24f) are newlywed couples. My wife has 4 friends who she has been really close with since school. For a celebration my wife decided to go to an expensive steak house.
The day comes and we go in separate cars there. We all eat and my wife slides the bill (700+) and proceeds to say. “The man should always pay for the wife and her friends.”
I laugh awkwardly saying why. She says because I’m the man. I tell her that the only other person I would pay for would be you and me. Her friends proceeded to laugh at me calling me a broke husband. I stand up and put the money for me and my wife’s food and leave.
My wife gets home and starts screaming at me. Saying I made her feel embarrassed. How she promised her friends I’d pay. And that her friends made fun for her on the ride home for marrying a man who can’t pay the bill.
I decided to pack a bag and head to my friends house. I told my parents/friends and they say I should have just payed it. Now I’m having second thoughts if I over reacted.
Edit 1: Hi guys, I’ve read someone comments if my wife has ever acted like this. And she never has that why I just laughed awkwardly.
The only other time she did this was when I didn’t buy her mom food. Which happened when we first started dating. And it was the first time she ever screamed at me like that. Instead of escalating it, I just left. And when we do argue it’s not a screaming match.
I read some comments and decided to go talk to her tomorrow about what happened, why she did that etc.
I do recognize that I didn’t pay the full amount of me and my wife’s dinner. I do take fault in that. I should have added another 50-75 dollars to make it the price of 2 people.
A 42-year-old woman has been arrested by the Singapore police for loanshark harassment, after she allegedly splashed paint and left a debtor’s note at a unit along Rivervale Walk.
S’pore Police’s statement
WOMAN ARRESTED FOR LOANSHARK HARASSMENT
The Police have arrested a 42-year-old woman for her suspected involvement in a case of loanshark harassment.
On 11 August 2023 at about 9.20pm, the Police were alerted to a case of loanshark harassment where a debtor’s note was left at a residential unit along Rivervale Walk. The gate of the unit was also splashed with red paint.
Through follow-up investigations and with the aid of images from Police cameras, officers from Ang Mo Kio Police Division established the identity of the woman and arrested her on 17 August 2023.
The woman will be charged in court on 19 August 2023 under the Moneylenders Act 2008. First time offenders found guilty of loanshark harassment shall be fined not less than $5000 and not more than $50,000, with mandatory imprisonment of up to five years, and caning of up to six strokes. Repeated offenders found guilty of loanshark harassment shall be fined not less than $6000 and not more than $60,000, with mandatory imprisonment of not less than 2 years and not more than 9 years, and caning of not less than 5 and not more than 10 strokes.
The Police have zero tolerance for loanshark harassment activities. Those who deliberately vandalise properties, cause annoyance and disruption to public safety and security, will be dealt with severely in accordance with the law.
Members of the public are advised to stay away from loansharks and not to work with or assist the loansharks in any way. The public can call the Police at ‘999‘ or the X-Ah Long hotline at 1800-924-5664 if they suspect or know of anyone who could be involved in loansharking activities.
PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE 18 August 2023 @ 10:21 PM
POLICE STATEMENT ON INCIDENT BETWEEN POLICE COAST GUARD OFFICERS AND MALAYSIAN FISHERMAN IN SINGAPORE TERRITORIAL WATERS ON 14 AUGUST 2023
The Singapore Police Force (SPF) is aware of news articles by Malaysian media (Sinar Harian and Berita Harian (Malaysia)) alleging that a Police Coast Guard (PCG) boat had entered Malaysia Territorial Waters (MTW) and headed towards the fishing net laid by a Malaysian fishing vessel. This is untrue.
The facts of the incident are as follow.
On 14 August 2023 at 6.55am, PCG officers were patrolling Singapore Territorial Waters (STW) when they spotted a Malaysian fishing vessel in STW at the sea off Tuas. At the time, there were a few other fishing vessels in the vicinity, but they were in MTW. PCG officers engaged the fisherman on board the fishing vessel in STW and advised him to leave STW.
After the engagement, a fishing net became entangled with the propellors of the PCG boat as the PCG boat was reversing to try to avoid entering MTW. The fishing net was subsequently damaged in the process of untangling it from the propellors.
PCG officers were enforcing Singapore’s laws within STW.
The SPF notes that the fisherman involved in the incident on 14 August 2023 was also involved in a previous incident in October 2022, when he was advised to leave a live firing area in STW for his own safety. During the October 2022 incident, he had also falsely claimed that he was in MTW when he was in fact in STW. The SPF had similarly issued a clarification regarding his allegations. Please see Annex for the Police News Release on the incident that happened in October 2022.
PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE 20 August 2023 @ 10:35 AM
S’pore Police’s statement back in 2022
COAST GUARD OFFICERS AND MALAYSIAN FISHING VESSELS IN SINGAPORE TERRITORIAL WATERS ON 23 OCTOBER 2022
The Singapore Police Force (SPF) is aware of allegations circulating online about Malaysian fishermen being chased away by Police Coast Guard (PCG) officers for fishing in Malaysian Territorial Waters. The allegations are wholly untrue. The facts of the incident are as follows.
On 23 October 2022, at about 4.00pm, PCG officers were patrolling Singapore Territorial Waters, when they spotted a group of Malaysian fishing vessels entering and exiting the live firing area of Singapore’s Territorial Waters off Lim Chu Kang. Unauthorised vessels are strictly prohibited from entering the live firing area, for their own safety. PCG officers thus approached the Malaysian fishing vessels and used the public address system on the PCG boat to advise them to leave the live firing area in Singapore Territorial Waters.
At about 5.28pm, a few Malaysian fishing vessels approached the PCG officers, and their crew expressed unhappiness at being asked to leave the area. Our officers explained that unauthorised vessels were prohibited from entering the area, and asked them to leave for their own safety. After a verbal exchange, the Malaysian fishing vessels returned to Malaysian Territorial Waters at about 5.37pm. This exchange also took place entirely in Singapore Territorial Waters.
PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE 25 October 2022 @ 7:10 AM
A cockroach displayed commendable determination by holding on to the window of an aircraft in the air, and it has taken the internet by storm. This incident, witnessed by a female passenger on a China Southern Airlines flight, has left people intrigued and amused.
The Unusual Scene
On August 16th, a female passenger embarked on a flight from Xishuangbanna to Ningbo with China Southern Airlines. During the journey, she encountered an utterly unexpected sight—a cockroach adhering to the plane’s window.
What made this sighting even more bewildering was the insect’s ability to cling to the window’s surface without any apparent struggle or fear of falling.
A Puzzling Observation
The passenger, Ms. Guo, diligently observed the cockroach for an impressive three hours as it hung onto the window while the aircraft soared thousands of feet above the ground.
The perplexity deepened as she contemplated why a cockroach would choose to position itself on an airplane window, high above the clouds.
Unveiling the Truth
As the flight continued, Ms. Guo remained vigilant, closely monitoring the cockroach’s behavior until she reached her destination in Ningbo.
The cockroach’s resilience was evident; it showed no signs of budging, even in the face of the plane’s movement and turbulence. However, China Southern Airlines later revealed that the cockroach was not braving the elements as it initially seemed.
Behind the Scenes
In a subsequent report, China Southern Airlines clarified that the cockroach observed by Ms. Guo was nestled between the inner surface of the aircraft’s windshield and the inner lining.
This revelation shifted the narrative, explaining that the cockroach’s perceived flight was, in fact, an optical illusion created by its position between the glass and the inner structure of the aircraft.
The Mystery Solved
It was plausible that the cockroach had crawled onto the window from the cargo or luggage on the plane. This migration made it appear as though the cockroach was “flying” on the outside of the window. In reality, it was shielded from the elements by the aircraft’s structure.
Going Viral
Despite the debunking of the cockroach’s airborne endeavor, the viral video continued to captivate audiences. The footage garnered a staggering 45 million views on Douyin and other social media platforms.
Internet users were quick to draw parallels with the cockroach’s resilience and its nickname in Chinese culture—”Xiao Qiang,” which translates to “Little Strong One” in English.
Unbelievable, A passenger who didn't buy a plane ticket.😎 It finally succeeded in reaching its destination. Cockroaches are the most powerful creatures on earth. pic.twitter.com/agijdytV6V
Minister for Manpower Tan See Leng has taken decisive action by instructing the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act (POFMA) Office to issue corrective measures in response to a TikTok video.
The video, posted by the user @dr.ishhaq.jay on August 12, prompted the issuance of a Correction Direction to the user and a Targeted Correction Direction to TikTok itself.
CORRECTION DIRECTIONS UNDER THE PROTECTION FROM ONLINE FALSEHOODS AND MANIPULATION ACT 2019 TO ADDRESS FALSEHOOD ON CPF POLICIES
1 The Minister for Manpower has instructed the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act (POFMA) Office to issue a Correction Direction to TikTok user “dr.ishhaq.jay” and a Targeted Correction Direction1 to Tiktok Pte Ltd. in relation to a TikTok post by user “dr.ishhaq.jay” on 12 August 2023 (“the TikTok Post”).
In the TikTok Post, he falsely claimed that no one among low and middle income CPF members who utilised their CPF monies to repay their HDB loan has met either the Basic Retirement Sum or Full Retirement Sum in their CPF accounts.
2 The user “dr.ishhaq.jay” will be required to create a new TikTok post containing a correction notice which states that the TikTok Post contains a false statement of fact, and provide a link to the Government’s clarification. TikTok Pte. Ltd. will also be required to communicate a correction notice to all end-users in Singapore who had accessed the TikTok Post.
3 For the facts of the case, please refer to the Factually article “Corrections and Clarifications regarding false statement of fact on CPF policies in TikTok video published by “dr.ishhaq.jay” on 12 August 2023” at https://www.gov.sg/article/factually200823-a.
MINISTRY OF MANPOWER 20 AUGUST 2023
Govt’s clarifications
Corrections and clarifications regarding false statement of fact on CPF policies in TikTok video published by “dr.ishhaq.jay” on 12 August 2023
The Ministry of Manpower would like to point out that a TikTok video published by “dr.ishhaq.jay” (“the TikTok Post”) on 12 August 2023 contains a false statement of fact on CPF members.
False Statement of Fact
The TikTok Post stated that no one among low- and middle-income CPF members who has used their CPF monies to repay their HDB loan has been able to meet either the Basic Retirement Sum (BRS) or Full Retirement Sum (FRS) in their CPF accounts.
This statement is false.
Based on CPF Board’s data, almost 7 in 10 active CPF members have set aside their cohort’s BRS at age 55 in 2022. This proportion includes members earning below the median income for those aged 55 years old in 2022 who have used their CPF savings to repay housing loans. We expect the proportion of active CPF members who are able to set aside their cohort’s BRS at age 55 to increase to about 8 in 10 in 2027.
The Minister for Manpower, Dr. Tan See Leng, has instructed the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act (POFMA) Office to issue a Correction Direction to TikTok user “dr.ishhaq.jay” and a Targeted Correction Direction to TikTok Pte. Ltd. under the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act 2019, in respect of the TikTok Post.
Additional Clarifications
Government Support for Retirement Adequacy
The Government has been enhancing the CPF system over the years, especially to benefit those who require more support. For example, we provide 1% extra interest on the first $60,000 of members’ combined CPF balances, and an additional 1% on the first $30,000 of combined CPF balances for members aged 55 and above, to help boost their retirement savings.
To help seniors who wish to continue working, we have been raising senior workers’ CPF contribution rates in tandem with the raising of retirement and re-employment age. For seniors who have less for retirement, we provide targeted support through schemes such as Silver Support and ComCare. We have also introduced the Matched Retirement Savings Scheme to help seniors who have not met the prevailing BRS to save more for retirement.
To support lower-wage workers to earn more through upgrading skills and improving productivity, the Government has worked with tripartite partners to expand the Progressive Wage Model. The Government further tops up their wages and provides additional CPF contributions through the Workfare Income Supplement scheme.
Clarifications on TikTok Post
1. The TikTok Post claimed that members will have to start paying cash for their monthly HDB loan repayment from age 55 onwards, as CPF monies in their Ordinary Account would all be transferred to their Retirement Account at that point.
Facts:
When a CPF member turns 55, monies from the member’s Special Account is transferred to their Retirement Account, up to the Full Retirement Sum. If there is a shortfall to the Full Retirement Sum, only the Ordinary Account monies needed to make up the shortfall is transferred to the Retirement Account.
CPF members can apply before age 55 to have all or part of their Ordinary Account monies retained in their Ordinary Account to pay for their housing loan. If they do so, this monies will not be transferred to the Retirement Account even if there is a shortfall to the Full Retirement Sum.
Any inflows to members’ Ordinary Account after they turn 55 can also be used for housing.
Please visit the CPF Board website for more details.
2. The TikTok Post claimed that members are charged interest on the CPF monies and grants used for housing.
Facts:
When members use their CPF savings for housing, they are tapping into savings that go towards supporting their retirement needs, Therefore, when they sell their property, they are required to refund to their own CPF Account the total amount of CPF monies (including any CPF housing grants) used for the purchase of the flat as well as the amount of interest the member would have earned if that monies were not utilised for the purchase of the flat. The full refund goes to the member’s CPF account, and nothing goes to the Government or any other party. There are no charges imposed on the member when they sell their property.
3. The TikTok Post claimed that members cannot use their CPF savings to pay for their children’s education, whereas foreigners enjoy education for free.
Facts:
Under the CPF Education Loan Scheme, CPF members can use their Ordinary Account savings to pay for their children’s tuition fees at full-time subsidised diploma/degree courses at Approved Educational Institutions.
In general, foreigners pay higher school fees than Singaporeans, and do not get education for free in Singapore. Access to government loans is also not free for foreign students, with interest payable after graduation.
