How do I professionally say, “I’m not doing anything until I get a raise”?

Like many of you all, I’m at a job where I’m overworked and underpaid. Lately, I’ve had to take on managerial-level responsibilities (e.g. firing someone), which did not end well.

In the last month, I’ve had to do damage control due to a hysterical ex-employee going on a defamation spree, hire new staff, take on additional work in the interim, train new staff, and handle big projects on top of the day-to-day stuff, which is already overwhelming.

Every time I bring up a raise to my boss, he says the same thing: “I’m working hard to get you that raise!” I’d believe he was working his butt off if he wasn’t going on overseas holidays every other week.

Long story short: I’m at the point where I’m ready to say no to any additional work; I just need to find a tactful way to do it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Of course, I’d be happy to help sir. Just let me know what other duties I’m assigned to that can be put on pause while I do so.
2. Your boss won’t do anything to get you promoted. He wants you to do the dirty part of his job and that’s it.
3. It’s a tricky situation, but if you are helping other people with projects that were not supposed to be yours and your manager comes and ask you if you can help, you can say you are working in your main project and want it to be the best it can be done.
4. What i said last time they tried giving me a new task
   “Thank you for thinking of me for this opportunity. I think its right up my alley and could help you with. But first well either have to look at my schedule or my pay. I already have too much on my plate with the time i can work. A raise would help compensate for all this extra work or decide what need to be put on hold”
   They still tried to shovel it my way but i put it on the side until it was crashing and burning and they add no choice to hire someone new.

Does anyone else feel like having kids these days is a luxury that only high SES folks can afford?

Context: My husband (32M) and I (31F) really love children and can handle the child-rearing really well based on work as well as babysitting relatives (cousins/nieces/nephews).

But we just feel like we can’t afford having one because of the high standard of living. Also, our combined income is only $7k after CPF.

We’re also just renting now because of a certain situation which I won’t delve into. Even if manage to BTO, we’ll only probably be able to get keys earliest like 5years from now or can even be 10years from now if there are delays and this is assuming we can even get lucky with the ballot.

That’s why we can’t help but envy those who are younger than us and can just have kids without having to worry about their finances.

So I just wanted to know if we’re the only ones feeling this way because I know a lot of people our age and younger choose not to have children.

But for us, we want them so badly, it’s just that we feel like we are too poor to give them a comfortable living.

Netizens’ comments

My neighbour, he is a delivery driver. Wife not working. They have 4 kids. All going to school.

Total household income does not even reach 4k including his overtime. They seem to be a very happy family and on weekends they go for bbq at the seaside. Sometimes we go together as families.

He told me, life isnt about the money. Its about being happy with your family. Your health relies on your happiness. His kids study well, bring in good grades, one is preparing for his psle and not going to tuition but expecting to get a good sec school with express. He is happy about it.

They have 3 meals a day at home and when they go for holidays, its usually a family trip to Malaysia where they have good moments. Visited their house during hari raya and he showed me a lot of photos. Hes only 35 years old. Good feat for my abang!

His advise to me: if you want to make a family, dont think about the money. Theres always a blessing.

Paying $80 a month for data, dad refuses to let me change to a cheaper mobile plan. Help…

Hi everyone. Not sure if I’m asking this question at the right place but I really need help.

I’m paying around $80 per month for data and I’m thinking of changing my mobile plan because I know that that’s a ridiculous amount to pay for, after knowing that my friends only pay around $20 or less a month…

But the problem now is that my dad refuses to let me change my mobile plan because “our entire family is using the same line (Singtel) so why you want to change?”

He also has the ownership of my mobile number and he refuses to transfer the ownership to me although I’m already 21. So I can’t change it without his consent…

Is there any way I can change my mobile plan and take ownership of my own mobile without having to ask him beforehand? He’ll never say yes so discussing with him first is out of the question. I can deal with the consequences (of him possibly hitting/verbally abusing me) later when he finds out himself.

Someone pls advise. Thank you so so so much!

Edit: Some of you are asking if we’re using a family plan, I’m not so sure but I just know that I pay $80 for my own mobile, my sibling pays for his own, and my parents pay for their own as well. Mum is using prepaid.

I don’t understand why my dad wants us to use the same carrier either.. some things he do just doesn’t make sense to me and I’m equally confused as you guys..

like for e.g many years ago my entire family was using android including me, but I like iphone better for personal preference.

But my dad die die didn’t want me to change because same reason as the mobile plan, “our entire family is using android so why you want to change to iphone?” I’m using iphone now though, haha.

2nd edit: I pay for my own phone bill.

I remember like it was yesterday the moment I had my first taste of the high life. It was my freshman year in uni and, as if straight out of a movie, my newfound friends and I had been invited to a pool party at the luxurious mansion of one of our classmates. I was in awe at the sheer size of the place, the grandiose decorations, and the expensive cars parked outside. But the most impressive part for me was the designer clothing and accessories that everyone around me was wearing.

I remember looking around and feeling completely out of place. I’d never seen so many expensive handbags, designer shoes, and high-end apparel in one place. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I didn’t have anything like that to wear. All I had was a few thrift store dresses that I had bought with what little money I had left over from my allowance.

That’s when it hit me. The realization that I was going to have to do something if I wanted to fit in with my new friends and the lifestyle that they were living. I had to act rich.

So I started to do my research. I scoured the internet looking for the latest trends in designer clothing and accessories. I searched for deals and discounts on designer items, and I even asked my friends about their favorite brands and styles. I was determined to look and feel like I belonged in this world, even if I couldn’t afford any of it.

But then I had an idea.

I started to rent the designer handbags and accessories that I wanted. I found a few online rental platforms that allowed me to rent designer items for a fraction of the cost. I could rent designer bags and shoes for a day, a week, or even a month. I was able to get my hands on designer items that I would have never been able to afford otherwise.

At first, I was a little skeptical about the whole idea. I was worried that people would be able to tell that my bags and shoes were rentals. But I quickly realized that no one was paying attention to that kind of stuff. Everyone was too busy living their own lives to worry about what was in my bag or on my feet.

I was so relieved. I had found a way to fit in with my friends without having to actually spend a lot of money. I could rent designer items for a fraction of the cost and no one would be any the wiser.

It was a great plan, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t without its challenges. For starters, I had to keep track of when I rented the items and when I needed to return them. I also had to make sure I kept them in perfect condition or else I would be charged for any damages. And, of course, I had to keep up with the latest trends so that I could rent the items that were in style.

But through it all, I managed to keep up with my friends and the lifestyle that they were living. I was able to rent designer items and dress like I belonged in their world. It was a great feeling and it also helped boost my confidence.

In the end, I learned that, sometimes, trying to keep up with the Joneses isn’t always the best option. It’s okay to be different and it’s alright to dress for yourself and not for other people. I also learned that, sometimes, renting is better than buying. After all, who knows what could happen tomorrow?