Is there a link between networking and promotion? I don’t enjoy socialising with my colleagues so I always eat lunch on my own. I think it’s a total waste of time waiting for everyone to get ready and when I eat on my own, I don’t have to accommodate to anyone and can just eat whatever I want. Also I’m just one person, I dont have to wait long before I get a seat and can always skip long queues.

I don’t know if I’m thinking too much but I noticed that everyone in my team has been promoted at least once except for me. I don’t think it’s a performance issue because I’ve always been hitting my KPIs. It’s my eighth year in the dept this year so seniority wise, it should be my turn this year right? But the promotion went to this girl who only joined us last year. I’m not in my boss’ bad books cos when he came back from his overseas trip, he still got me a souvenir but of course I’m not as close to him as my colleagues who go out drinking with him after work.

It’s not that I’m hard up for a promotion but I’m just wondering if I have reached my peak here and should consider jumping ship. Has anyone experienced this before too or am I thinking too much?

Here are what netizens think:

• I believe that there is. As someone who has been in the workforce for more than 15 years, I’ve seen first-hand how networking has helped my colleagues and me to secure job promotions. It’s an essential part of career advancement.

• It’s no secret that networking can open doors, build contacts and create opportunities. But is there a direct link between networking and job promotion?

• It’s about making genuine connections and building relationships. It’s about engaging with people, listening to their stories and learning from their experiences. It’s also about sharing your own experiences and being open to advice.

I never thought that I would find myself in the situation I am in now – married to an insecure wife who keeps wanting to have children as a way to try to control me. It all started out as a seemingly normal relationship. We started dating when we were both in our early twenties and I was completely taken by her. She was beautiful, funny, and we shared so much in common.

My wife is constantly bugging me for a third child. I don’t understand why she’s so insistent on having another one when we already have two naughty boys at home that we can barely handle.

She keeps saying that she wants to try for a daughter and that she’s the one who has to suffer the pains of pregnancy not me so why am I not being supportive about this?

I didnt want to tell her but honestly I feel quite offended. It’s true that as men we don’t go through the pains of childbirth but we also contribute and sacrifice our time in taking care of the child what! I know pregnancy is tough so I try as much as I can to make life easier for my wife by doing more housework and pampering her. I also tired leh who come and pamper me??

Plus another child means another mouth to feed and I have to make sure that my pay alone can support all of us since she won’t be able to work. Now our expenses are already quite high so I don’t know if we can cope with one more. Worse still what if try alr still a son? Then how? Keep on trying ah? Why can’t she just be content with our two boys…

I started to realize that my wife was using the idea of having a child to try and control me. She wanted to be able to keep tabs on me and make sure that I never strayed. It was a way for her to have a sense of control over me and our relationship.

Sign on or out?

Since young, my parents had always emphasised the importance of studying hard so that I can get into a good school and find a good job in the government sector.

In fact, my whole family is in the public service! My dad used to be an army regular but had since retired, and now both my elder brothers took after him and signed on too.

In a few months, I’m going to complete my National Service and my parents have been bugging me to apply for a government scholarship so I won’t be afraid of not being able to secure a job when I graduate. I’m so tempted to do that just so they will stop nagging me about it but the thing is, I can’t imagine myself being bonded to a single organisation for like what, 5-6 years of my life! And I don’t even enjoy serving NS, why would I want to sign on?

I have already thought of what I wanted to do after NS and that is to apply for NAFA and study Fashion Design but I think if I tell them this, they’ll faint. They might even disown me. And it definitely doesn’t help that my snooty cousins are either doctors or lawyers. I can already picture the judgy faces of my aunts and the kind of bullshit that they’ll say to my parents about me.

Should I just lie to my parents that I applied but got rejected by SAF or should I thrash this out with them? Never knew ORD could be such a pain.

Here are what netizens think:

• You want go Nafa ah, 99% all become admin. not doing anything to do with arts.

• Waste money la, my cousin also same thing knn. Waste my uncle money study nafa end up doing some garbage job.

• Garbage collector also earn more

I don’t have a printer at home so I always use the one in the office to print my documents. Of course I use the office paper but at least I’m more automatic than some who don’t even bother replenishing the paper when the printer runs out. I got refill one hor!

I know a few other people who also do the same but that’s not the point! The point is that day when I went to print my stuff, I saw someone left their document behind by accident. When I picked it up to kaypo, I found out that it’s actl my colleagues’s flight details to Bangkok. Just when I was gonna go return it to her, I realised that there was a second paper behind it and it was my boss’ ticket for the same flight.

It’s very weird because from what I remember, my boss is married and I think this colleague is also attached. It can’t be a work trip because our company doesn’t have any partners in Thailand and usually our work trips are to Australia. I don’t think they are secretly siblings either cos their surnames are not even remotely close. They are most definitely not father and daughter cos my boss is only five years older than my colleague and I.

If all the above also doesn’t sound plausible, then confirm stamp chop is go there hanky panky alr lah!! O M G so juicy leh this gossip!

I really feel like booking a ticket to Bangkok too just so I can see them for myself in the flesh. should I anot ah?

34/M here working in the civil service. Recently, my boss has been hinting to me that he has plans to recommend me for an overseas posting and if I were to take it up, I’d have a high chance of being promoted when I return. I’m tempted to be honest but this would mean that I’ll be overseas for the next 3 to 4 years. What about my family?

My wife is doing quite well in her job and it would be unfair for her to quit and move over with me. Although our children are still young, the eldest one would be entering Primary 1 in two more years and we were hoping to school her in Singapore. I’ve briefly mentioned it to my wife and I don’t think she’s very keen on me leaving. I don’t mind not taking this up but I’m afraid that by saying no, I’m jeopardising my future opportunities too.

The thought of taking a posting overseas is exciting and terrifying in equal measure. On the one hand, I’m presented with the opportunity to experience a life-changing adventure, gain invaluable work experience, and potentially receive a promotion upon my return. On the other hand, I will be leaving behind my family, friends, and home. It’s a big decision and I’m trying to weigh all the pros and cons.

I’ve been thinking about the impact this could have on my family life. It’s a huge commitment and I need to be honest with myself and with my family about what it will entail. It’s not just me who will be affected – my wife and children will also have to make sacrifices if I take this opportunity.

I’ve been considering the practicalities of living overseas too. I need to think about the cost of living, the language barrier, the job prospects, the cost of travel to and from home, and the cost of health insurance. It’s a lot to consider and I’m not sure I have all the answers yet.

Should I discuss this more seriously with my wife? Should I stay or should I go?

When I was in school, I always thought that studying hard would allow me to get a good job that pays well in the civil service, whose metal rice bowl would make me the envy of everyone.

Now that I’m actually grown up and living my supposed ‘dream’, I realised that that’s a thing of the past.

We used to think that only the elite can qualify for a metal rice bowl but honestly why would someone with skills and ambition need that? If the company doesn’t value them for what they’re worth, with their capabilities, they can easily go to another company for equal if not more pay. The company should be the one worrying over retaining its people and not the other way round.

However, I have since learned that this is not necessarily the case. While it is true that hard work and dedication can open doors, it is not the only factor in determining one’s success. There are many other variables to consider, such as luck, networking, and even one’s personal relationships.

Networking is also an important factor in finding a good job. It is not just about having the right connections, but also about having the right attitude. You need to be able to build relationships with people in your field and be willing to put yourself out there. Being able to present yourself in a professional manner and having the right attitude can go a long way in helping you secure a job.

So actually the only people who truly need a metal rice bowl aren’t those who can do well but rather those who don’t do well and know that they can’t do better if they are ever asked to leave. And what does this imply? If you’re a civil servant, you’re not as capable as your peers who go corporate. When I realised this, it really made me very sad I spent all my teenage years studying instead of having fun and picking up real skills.

Though hard work and dedication can open doors, I have learned that it is not the only factor in finding success. There are many other variables to consider, such as luck, networking, and even one’s personal relationships. It is important to understand that hard work can only take you so far, and that other factors are necessary to achieve career success.

I was never the most athletic kid, so naturally, my mom was always trying to get me to eat more. I remember her incessantly telling me to “eat more, eat more” as if it was going to magically make me stronger and more active. Little did she know that all of her nagging was actually making me more inactive and, eventually, much heavier than I should have been.

My mom’s guilt trips started when I was in primary school. She would guilt me into eating more by telling me that I should be eating more because of how skinny I was. Then, she would move onto the “you’ll never be strong” angle. That was one of her favorites.

Guilt Trip

For example, I really hate eating fruits but every night after dinner, my mother will cut fruits and force the whole family to eat. There was once I told her I didn’t like to eat fruits, she guilt trip me by saying that I don’t appreciate her efforts and she only ate fruits the whole week to show that nobody wanted to eat and she had to clear everything herself.

Another time I pretended to eat but actually I was holding the same piece of fruit the whole night but somehow she knew and she kept asking me if the fruit is nice. When I said yes, she set aside one whole bowl for me and watched me finish it. It was the longest meal I ever had.

Even though I hate fruits, it’s not like I don’t have vitamins or fibre in my diet cos I can eat vegetables so other than to torture me, I really don’t know why my mother wants to force me to eat fruits.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to eat; I just didn’t have much of an appetite. But, that didn’t stop my mom from trying to stuff me with food. She would often go out of her way to make what she called “special treats” for me. These were usually unhealthy snacks that were loaded with sugar and fat.

I would try to tell her that I wasn’t hungry, but she just wouldn’t take no for an answer. She would keep pushing and pushing until I caved in and ate whatever she had prepared.

My mom’s guilt trips didn’t end there. She would also constantly nag me about exercising. She would always tell me that I needed to be doing more physical activity, and she would guilt me into going to the gym with her. Of course, when I got there I would just sit on the side and watch her workout.

This went on for years and, as expected, it had a huge impact on my health and weight. I gained more and more weight until I was finally considered “obese” by doctors. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of how I looked that I would avoid going out in public.

I felt like a total loser. I was constantly getting teased at school and I never felt like I fit in with the other kids. I was also miserable because I was stuck in an unhealthy cycle of overeating and not exercising.

How do I (29 M) tell my GF (27 F) she is bad with money?

So we are together for more than 4 years, and during all that time my GF is making significantly less money than me (like, for a long time it was half the money I make).

And I’m not even making that much, maybe an average pay. Because of this for these past years I wasn’t really able to be financially stable, so to say, because it was always like “please buy me a coffee” or “please give me gas money” or “please give me 10$ for something”.

for a long time I also had to carry a bigger part of food spendings (we live together), so every month I’m down to square one, with almost no savings and nothing even bought for myself. I don’t really need lots of stuff, but damn, I want to treat myself once in a while.

With time I developed a system for us to spend only a fixed amount of money on groceries and it was really working. So I am more or less aware of my incomes and spendings, but still she was regularly asking for money here and there.

Recently she got a good new job which pays more (still less than I make but with short term prospects of making more than me), and I was kind of relieved,

I managed to save up some money in the past few months and I was planning to buy some nice things for myself and for the new apartment that we are moving into.

But here comes the moving day (right in the beginning of a new month so she got her paycheck like 1-2 weeks ago) and she says she has no money again, so I had to pay almost my full monthly pay for the rent, advance and all that crap.

Keep in mind, we were talking about moving and actively looking for an apartment for a month minimum, so she was aware that we were going to move and pay that much money at once. So now she owes me half of her paycheck as well, so next month she’s gonna be broke again. So the cycle continues.

That said, she never holds back in spending money not even for herself, but for everyone else. Like, we are going for a dinner to my parents, she buys candy for the kids, wine for mom, groceries to cook something for them. Sometimes she even buys something for me, something I don’t necessarily need.

Every time I start even a remote conversation about the money and spending, not even insinuating that she is broke again and I have to carry us through with rent and etc, she just gets pissed at me and says something like “you always tell me how stupid I am with my money”.

We had one of these conversations yesterday and it was the same thing. After all these years she says that she tries to keep it together with her spendings, but for the love of god I can’t see it.

Fuck man, I’m really close to breaking up with her just over this, I love her, but I want to buy things for myself and just feel stable once for 4 years of this and not grab money from my savings account (which is miserable as is) just to get by.

Should I fire my NTU interns

I am getting complaints from my colleagues and boss that the interns are not responsive. Despite my repeated reminders and even going to the school’s internship office, the situation is not improving. They are on 10 week internship ending in mid July.

From time to time, the interns take long lunch breaks (2-3 hours) during working hours. My startup has a relaxed culture where we WFH 1-2 days a week. Despite this, the interns take long lunch breaks when they are in office. This is a very blatant misuse of the trust given.

The interns are slow to respond on whatsapp and do not acknowledge when work is assigned to them. This makes coordination difficult as they do not seem to value work as being important. They have ignored work assigned to them by my boss and other department heads until I had to call them.

The interns expect the supervisors and other company staff to match their timings. The interns seem to think we are their lecturers or school teachers and we must meet their expectations. They were late for an event and expected me and my colleague to wait for them.

Seeing that the interns were late and there was a long queue. Me and my colleague wanted to have an early lunch at HDL and didn’t mind treating the interns but the interns refused and made us go back to attend to them.

My colleague felt very offended and felt that the interns did not have respect for us. They have also forced me to give them an off on 29 May as it was results release day and threatened that they would not be in the mood to work.

Despite me telling off the interns on their work attitude, they have threatened me and told me to tell their school to release them early for internship if I am so unhappy. When I emailed the school, the school said they are interns and expect me to give more guidance and be understanding.

At this point, I feel more like a nanny and lecturer. Should I just fire these interns and get banned from the school or leave the interns to finish their internship.