I’m a 16 Y.O Singaporean (F) and I’m still attending secondary school and I have a criminal record

Context: Yesterday, my friend and I went to steal clothes at a mall and my friend was caught stealing. (I know it was stupid of us to steal. We learnt from our mistakes)

Of course, like what most managers would do is to call the security and the police. We were both detained and interrogated and we both explained that the reason why we stole. (It was because we couldn’t afford it and felt bad asking our parents for money as we are not born into a financially well family)

We fessed up that we have been doing this for awhile now and are guilty. They asked about our schools and our form teachers name and also told us to pack the things we stole before in a plastic bag and said that they would retrieve it. However they did not show up yesterday after we both went home.

The questions that I have right now is that

• Will this criminal record thing stay with us until we die? If no, how do I clear it and how long will it take?

• Can I still EAE into Polytechnic?

• If I want to work as a part timer, will the manager ask about it? (Correct me if I’m wrong but they would probably ask about it, right?)

• How will the school deal with this? Disciplinary case and stuff? Suspension?

Again, I know that it was foolish of us to commit such acts and we shouldn’t do such a stupid thing. Please don’t lecture us, we were already scolded by our parents (badly) Help us out.

Netizens’ comments

• Did the police bring you back to the police station and formally interrogated you?
  Basically what i am asking is – whether a statement was taken and you signed and acknowledged that you gave a statement.
  If they only contacted your school and parents, it is likely that they did not formally charge you.
  Take it as a lesson learnt and don’t steal again.
  Source: am lawyer but not yours so please do not regard this as legal advice just general observations

• Since u all minor won’t have criminal record. Usually they will let u go after warning. Pls don’t do stupid things like stealing.

A netizen shared how her boyfriend doesn’t anyhow spend and chooses to save money instead of buying expensive gifts for her.

Here is the story:

“My boyfriend is a pretty frugal guy who doesn’t splurge on restaurants, cafes and expensive food. He does however once in a while spend on things that he likes.

Every time he dines alone, he goes to those marketplaces, hawker or food courts in malls, but he’s willing to spend more on restaurants whenever we hang out, though sometimes I still enjoy eating at non-restaurant places with him.

One thing about him that bothers me is that he doesn’t spend much on me like my friend’s boyfriend does.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining or comparing, we still take turns to pay for meals, he isn’t being calculative with me, he buys me my favorite food and dessert too,

but what I’m saying is the lack of premium/expensive items like handbags, electronic gadgets, and jewelry.

I honestly don’t demand this stuff, but as a girl, who doesn’t want their boyfriend to pamper them once in a while, and I’m very much contented with him even if he does it just once or twice a year.

Moreover, he puts like 70% of his salary every month into trading. He did tell me before that now is not the right time for him to spend unnecessarily, as he wants to invest as much as he could so that we will have a much better life in the future.

I told him that he can’t possibly always be earning without spending, but my quote just simply doesn’t register in his head.

I know he’s been making money through stock trading, but honestly, I don’t feel happy at all if he doesn’t know how to pamper him or ourselves by spending it.

What shall I do? I don’t think a breakup is necessary, but I’d like to hear some useful opinions. Thanks.”

Editor’s note: You got no job and no money of your own? Are you a leech? What’s wrong with saving money?

A netizen took to Facebook to share how she met a guy from the dating app, Tinder, and that he is charismatic, intelligent and “pretty buff”.

She said that he is 1.75m tall, above her expectation of 1.7m, but because he “appears” short due to his muscles, she is considering stopping dating him.

Here is the story:

“I’m not sure if I’m considered a superficial or realistic woman but there is something that has been bothering me ever since I started using dating apps.

I recently matched this guy on tinder. He doesn’t look tall or at least above average height but what caught my attention was his serious look, charismatic/distinctive look, his intelligence and he is pretty buff too.

After chatting with him for some time, I noticed that we have a lot in common and what’s more important is that he not only does pretty well in his field of expertise but he also has some side hustle that generates passive income.

So when we first met each other, he indeed doesn’t look tall, which I already expected but then when we were standing closer, I noticed that he is actually much taller than me (I’m 1.55m), like legit above 1.7m.

so I just casually asked him how tall he is, and he said he’s 1.75m. I was like wow, it’s unbelievable cos my expectation is just 1.7.

Cares about how others view him

For some reason, he really looks short from far. I’m not sure is it due to his muscular arms, huge upper body frame, and bulky legs. I mean who doesn’t want a muscular bf right, but as much as I enjoy being with a buff dude, I sometimes care about how others view him cos even I find him short.

We actually met up a few times. I’m not gonna lie, but he really looks short when he’s in shorts.

Should I continue dating him cos I really like a lot of his qualities and his height probably won’t matter much to me later in life, or should I stop wasting his time since he looks short but isn’t actually short?”

Editor’s note: I think you should stop dating him because you’re wasting his time and you don’t deserve him, or anyone.

I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M).

Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least.

My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. A few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him.

He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. Yesterday was my 3yro’s birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife’s family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife’s been gone.

The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he’s sorry. I figured I’d have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party.

Before we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no business disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we’ll talk later, instead she said “besides, he’s right, kids need a mom”. I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said “see, it’s even turning you into a p***”. My in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening.

She said “listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I’m still a normal person”. She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her stuff and leave.

She is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. Aita for throwing her out?

Basically me and my brother were supposed to have movie night in his room bc he has the big tv and a huge bed. He came late at 1 am but since he promised me we went ahead and finished the episode of the show.

We had like 2 shots max not black out drunk. We do this like maybe every 3-5 months.

My mom went to my room and saw i wasnt there and asked if i was in my brothers room and i said yes. Then she asked what we were doing and i said we are watching a movie.

The end credits were rolling and my brother was sleeping so i left. My mom then told me she hopes we arent opening the gates of hell by drinking together. I was so confused.

She then went on to say that drinking leads to stuff and she finds it sus that we stopped watching the movie right after she came in the room.

I was so shocked, my mom has paranoid disorder so she has these beliefs abt stuff that are just not true. I try my best to be understanding but literally this is disgusting, she told me to not do stuff that willl make her believe we are doing stuff.

Im sorry?? My brother is basically my twin sometimes when i went to his house we would drink have our own mini party and then watch movies. Idk wtf is so wrong with that.

She literally thinks we do this everyday and that its a lifestyle and if smth happens bc we were drunk then its gonna be her fault.

Maybe im wrong but drinking will not make u do stuff like fucking your sibling, maybe a friend u were already attracted to sure. But this is going too far.

Ik its mostly her disorder but im so tired and exhausted of being accused of fucked shit.

A netizen shared how he/she left a stable job in December 2019 and hasn’t been able to stay in a company for longer than 6 months.

Here is the story:

“After leaving a stable job for 3 years since 2019 December to make a career switch to a completely new field (technical based), I have not been able to stay in 1 company for long, not beyond 6 months between beginning 2020 till now end of 2021.

One of the companies I was employed in dismissed me before 2 months and the other dismissed me shortly after 2 months (I had 3 years of experience in that field).

In between my employment gaps, I have been applying for many jobs (at least 30?) both technical and non-technical, but I seldom get any response or interview invitation, even for non-technical roles in which I have experience.

I feel so demoralized.

I have even resorted to lowering my salary expectations to accept a pay cut from my salary before 2020.

Despite the pay cuts, I still could not pass probation beyond 2 months. My manager was unsatisfied with my performance even though I felt that they should be more forgiving since I was new and the mistakes I made were not really serious.

She even degraded me by saying that I wasn’t putting any effort at all when I had worked hard and even overtime.

I was dismissed on that day without any notice given.

After a few months of continued job searching, I finally got a new job offer which has a blend of both non-technical and technical job scopes and will be starting my first day of work next week. However, I am full of worry and uncertainty about whether I will manage to pass the probation period successfully as I have already been dismissed twice before.

I try to think positively, but my confidence level has dropped so drastically despite my motivation to do well in my next job.

As a result, I have been losing sleep over the last couple of weeks.

How can I get over this, put the past behind me and put my focus on excelling in my next job?”

Editor’s note: Take one day at a time and only focus on getting the tasks for the day done well, then reset the next day. One step at a time and you will get there.