Do you think my GF is a spendthrift?

My gf always insists to pay for all our dates so far. We are dating with marriage in mind. But after three months of dating her, I realise she may be too much of a spendthrift.

She likes to hire rides to get around and doesn’t like to take bus or MRT and have an expensive gym membership.

Yesterday we went to a shop and she bought a slipper for more than $100. She also travels frequently and have been to Spain, Italy, France, Switzerland and New Zealand.

I only earning 2.1 k per month now. Since she earns much more than me and can afford her lifestyles herself, do you all think that it is actually not a problem?

Netizens’ comments

• If you explain where you’re coming from and she’s ok with it and you’re ok with it; all good. Have a talk. The guy doesn’t have to be the one that makes more/provides…

• i won’t be complaining bro if she’s ok with it. not like she’s forcing to pay for her stuff

• Not a problem if it’s a lifestyle she can afford and is used to. Just go with the flow.

The other night I slept in a really weird position and my neck was hurting all day yesterday. When I got to my boyfriends house I was telling him about how bad my neck pain was (and surprisingly it was getting worse). For reference we’ve been together about 10/11 months.

My father had a near-fatal heart attack five years ago and developed dementia from brain damage, and now basically can’t form new long-term memories and has problems with complicated tasks, but is still semi-functional on a day-to-day basis, but is increasingly becoming less so.

He literally does nothing all day but watch television. When I do talk to him, we have nothing to talk about, and he can’t remember what we talked about five minutes later anyway.

I think he only half knows who I am. My stepmother controls access to him by always being the one to answer their one phone. She also says that he is suspicious of me because “He thinks you’re trying to get his money” (note: he has no money to get). To put it mildly, talking with him is depressing and unrewarding (especially compared to how he used to be and how I remember him when I was a kid), and I have a hard time forcing myself to talk to him nowadays.

submitted by /u/northwindlake
[link] [comments]

I’ve been talking to a colleague for a while and he was an overall good guy to me. He has been saying that he wants to have S for a couple of weeks or so and he’s been respectful by not making me feel pressured or obligated because I am a V.

He said he wanted to chat before anything actually happens and yesterday we finally got to chat.

I am with a girl since last year end and recently I have noticed a few challenges in our relationship. To be clear, she is a very admirable and diligent girl and I love her very much.

But after a recent quarrel I have started to realise many differences between us. First off, I feel as if she pushed too much of her ideals onto me both emotionally and physically. Yes, she is an over-achiever among our peers. But does that justify her being inconsiderate and asked me to and I quote ‘why can’t you be better’? Note that I have always had a trauma and stress from my family side already as my siblings are all top tier human beings.

After the get better incident I have found my hatred for her grow from the inside and every time we have quarrels it just grows even more. And also, she cries every time something not in her favour happens. A few days ago she said something that got onto my head and I became moody and she started crying. As if she expects everything to be solved by having tears. I’m sorry I can’t fulfil your wish of dating a kdrama oppa who licks your knees every time a tear of yours drop. Nowadays I feel defeated, some times annoyed even every time she cries. Just because she cries SO OFTEN. LITERALLY.

Plus it is very unlikely we will be in the same country in our future and all sources of mine says ldr doesn’t work.

What should I do. Should I still hang on the little thread of hope? Or should I just follow along my conscience that tells me that I should stop wasting time?

A girl shared her story about how she wants to dress in a way she likes but is afraid of men staring or making comments at her.

She describes her situation as if she is the only woman in the world.

Here is the story:

It’s so wild to me that even though none of these is inherently sexual, and of being sexy isn’t your intention, men will STILL find ways to sexualize you and be creepy.

Like with crop tops even the tiniest bit of STOMACH can “turn men on” and they can’t control themselves for some reason. With short skirts, the sight of thighs and legs can make men be creepy. This is why I don’t wear short skirts that are too short and I always short under them, same with dresses. I like skirts and dresses that come up a bit above the knees, as well as long float skirts and dresses.

Men seem to think women dress for their pleasure. We DON’T. Heck, I’m straight but I dress to impress other women and also just because I enjoy my sense of fashion. I don’t dress so that men can be creepy.

I’m so sick of having to suppress my true fashion sense because I’m scared of how weird men might react. I don’t have forever to dress how I want.

The weather is hot now, it’s hot out and I want to look cute and pretty in skirts and dresses and crop tops but it’s because of men that I’m scared to when I shouldn’t have to be. Ffs it’s 2022. We shouldn’t be primitive still, but apparently, a lot of men still are.

I know that men are more “visual” but that’s no excuse to behave the way they do. Nothing is an excuse to behave that way. You don’t see women being creepy to a man who’s out without his shirt on. Or homosexual women being creepy to other women. I’m sure there are women out there who are like that and that’s wrong too, but it’s usually men who are that way to women who look more “revealing” whatever tf that means.

We ALL have a stomach. We ALL have thighs and legs. Nothing inherently sexual about any of that. I just don’t understand, for the life of me, why men can’t control themselves. Women simply can’t exist in peace and naturally feel safe.

With men, we are ALWAYS in fight or flight mode. It’s just so exhausting. As proud as I am to be a woman, sometimes I wish was anything but.

Here are what netizens think:

• You think too much, a creep can make things sound wrong no matter what you wear.

• Aiya what a over reacting girl, kpkb don’t wear la. Just stay at home and look in the mirror all day.

• It is obviously more likely when it’s less clothing or whatever is deemed “promiscuous” but unfortunately that’s just how it is. As far as safety goes that’s not necessarily a man problem but a societal problem. It’s the fault of those victim blamers who think that a lack of modesty is what makes you unsafe, as opposed to the living breathing scum of the earth who just have evil thoughts and do evil things regardless of what you wear

I am just curious and would like to know: how much allowance do you give your parents? By allowance I mean the monthly money you give out of filial piety.

I remembered giving my mum some money from my measly part time job pay during my secondary and poly school holidays, so it was natural to give allowance too once I started working full time, but sadly, my pay is really quite miserable for a uni grad pay.

I do not earn much, significantly way lesser than those OPs on NUSWhispers complaining about their 8k monthly salary.

I have recently just finished repaying my study loan of 1k per month for the past 5 years (total 60k)

I am currently paying a monthy insurance of 1.6k (including endowments,  investments and life insurance policies).

(Since this post is anynomous) my take home is slightly more than 3k. I work in a lab and that’s the basic salary offered across all labs in singapore, so changing lab jobs will not change or improve my take home income.

For the past  5 years since I have started working, I was unable to save much because of the repayment of study loan and insurances financial constraints.

For the past 5 years, in addition to repaying my study loan and paying for my insurances, I have been giving my parents allowance too.

When I finished repaying my 60k study loan, I increased the parental allowance by 200 bucks a month.

During one fateful month, when i had alot of credit card bills to pay due to insurance and other stuff, I gave 100 bucks lesser in the parental allowance

(but still higher than what I used to give when I was still repaying my study loan), my mum wasn’t happy and said i was shortchanging her, and even after i explained my financial predicament, she didn’t accept my explanation and said I shouldn’t shortchange her.

I am currently giving her 17% of my take home salary. Is that too little?

My parents has 4 children, each giving them allowance and I just heard from my sister that “U know when u get married, u also have to give yr spouse family?”

So that means that my brother in law and sister in law are giving my parents allowance too?? That is 6 people giving them allowance every month!!!

Does that mean my partner has to give them allowance after we get married too? He earns 1k lesser than me, and he is already giving allowance to his parents, I don’t think he will be able to afford to give my parents allowance too . His parents are very easy going and they are not nit picky about how much he gives them because they understand that he doesnt earn much.

Is there an unspoken rule that we have to give our spouse parents too?

How are we to raise a family with our already little combined income and also give both sides of the family allowance??

Question: what is the appropriate percentage of your take home salary to give your parents? And do we also have to give our spouse parents?

I hate having intercourse with my GF while she’s on her period but she wants to still do it

My (23M) GF (20F) are in a sort of long distance relationship where we are away from each other. I’m coming home for a couple of days, but she’s currently on her period.

I love being intimate with her but doing it on her period grosses me out. I know it’s natural and I shouldn’t judge it but at the same time I don’t wanna do it.

It hurts her feelings when I tell I don’t wanna. What can I do to help her relax and calm down when I tell her again?

I told her that I’m planning a huge date that’s gonna be filled with many dates all in one day because I want her to understand that I’m not grossed out by her in any means.

I want her to feel loved and attractive but at the same time I want her to just understand that I’m just not comfortable doing it while she’s on her period.

Netizens’ comments

• Consent goes both ways. She needs to respect your boundaries.

• Though it hurts her feelings, she should respect you dislike that. A relationship is respect for each other.

• Have a conversation with her about it. She can respect it or not. If she doesn’t, you may want to reconsider if she’s the right person for you.

Need End of Relationship Advice. She wants to stay on as my roommate.

broke off the loveless, unfulfilling relationship. She moved into my home last year. Since rental is expensive right now and she has utterly refused and rejected all notions of fiscal responsibility

(yes, this was a contributor to our demise – play and party were always prioritized over any kind of “adulting” – we’re in our late 40s, early 50s, btw)

she’s living paycheck to paycheck and has no savings (but lots of upcoming cruises, airline reservations, and concert tickets on order!) and has just asked if she could move into the spare room and stay on as my roommate.

Even though it certainly would be nice to have continued financial assistance, and even though I don’t want her to suffer, my gut is screaming, “NO! She needs to leave as soon as reasonably possible because this will get messy and a clean break is best.”

I’d really appreciate the diversity of perspective because I am vacillating heavily on this. Thanks in advance, reddit!

Netizens’ comments

Get her out of there! You can’t go No Contact if she’s still living in your house! She basically wants all the benefits of being in a relationship, without being in a relationship.