My boyfriend proposed and I’m not sure how to tell him that I don’t want to marry him for now

So, long story short: me (28F) and my boyfriend (30M) first met around 3 years ago, became really good friends, and we’ve been together for 2 years and 6 months now.

For context, I am not from here and I left home to come here to work.

last week he proposed, and I’m not sure how to tell him that I don’t want to marry him for now, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t want it in the future, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t love him – I absolutely do.

The reason why I don’t want to marry him for now is because I believe is still too soon to make a decision like that.

I mean, this wouldn’t be just getting married. To move permanently here I’d be leaving all my life behind – family, friends, and etc.

I love him and I’ll miss him like crazy, but I believe our best option for now is for me to go back home, try long distance relationship, and see how it goes.

Again, like I said, I’m not sure how to word things in a way of making explicit that this is not a “no”, this is a “no for now”, and don’t hurting him.

My husband and I are recently married and every so often he will hit me in the face or head pretty hard while we are falling asleep.

I didn’t think much of it at first, and assumed he was just an active sleeper, but I am starting to wonder if there is a pattern here that I was missing before.

For example, some nights when we go to bed he is super relaxed especially if we got intimate and he will fall asleep quietly with no groaning or throwing hands.

However I’m noticing that when he is annoyed about anything, especially when I don’t want to do it with him, he will be very agitated through body language as we are going to sleep. (shaking his leg, hitting the bed with his hand, heavy sighing/ breathing, and creating a tense environment sometimes for hours.)

I also want to note that we get intimate at least 6/7 days per week but that’s not enough, he wants it 2x daily & super rough for him to finish.

Last night I told him I was too tired to do it and he seemed annoyed. As we were falling asleep he hit me square in the face enough for it to scare me.

I yelled “babe!”? He looked to be asleep, but I am starting to think he is trying to cover for it and could possibly know what he is doing.

I also was not giving into his advances this morning before work and he elbowed me in the eye “on accident” and said “he barely touched me”.

Its all really vague the way it happens and is causing me confusion. This has happened a strong handful of times before and I am just starting to get more suspicious.

When he is frustrated he will also just be very loud as I am trying to fall asleep sometimes for hours sighing heavily, and grunting/ just making a ruckus almost to keep me awake on purpose.

Has anyone heard of anything like this before ? I am trying to decide how to approach the conversation or whether to bring it up at all.

I am a recent grad and have been working for a big company for about a year in an office job. Feeling really mentally stressed and burnt out. I have been wanting to change some job which I am overqualified for, like a diploma level job or a blue collar job like plumber or carpenter.

I feel that companies in sg have overly high demands on employees in degree white collar jobs. We usually have to multitask and take on a wide jobscope. On top of that, we still have CCAs like organising meetings and events, writing minutes, being in some commitee etc which everyone have to do on top of their already packed jobscope. Because of all these demands, I often have to work overtime or do extra work at home to clear my load. I have known from my many friends that this is very common across many different companies and industries.

I envy those in non-degree jobs such in admin or support roles or blue collar ones who only need to focus on one jobscope and their work is quite routine. They can usually leave on time, don’t have to bring work home and don’t need to do much CCAs. If I join these jobs, I surely will need to take a big paycut but hey, life isn’t just all about work right? Many of these people work these jobs their whole life and are able to support a family, buy a house etc.

Here are what netizens think:

• Changi Aviation industry have a lot of mid to blue collar job. Comfortable environment too. Pay range from 2k to 4k plus. Technology or white collar 3k to 5k range.

• It’s ultimately down to whether u’re ok with it… And u REALLY gotta be ok with it cos it could be a path of no return…U take that path, u find the pay too low, u’re gonna face challenges if u wanna transition back to a grad position cos employers will wonder why the heck u took a paycut to do a brain-dead job in the first place. It would be time wasted.Not all employers will be willing to let u “try”. And after doing “relaxed” jobs for awhile, u’ll find it even harder to adjust back to a demanding, high-pressure environment.Not to mention that u would have lost years of experience, and you would be starting in the same level as fresh grads younger than u and more hungry than u.

• Be a tutor, stress free work.

I’m not proud to say this so I will share this story anonymously. I needed some advice as I feel kind of wrong doing this.

I managed to pay for my $20,000+ degree in 2 instalments. My classmates knew that I do not come from a well to do family and they wondered how did I manage to pay for my degree in two instalments.

I often lie to them and tell them that I saved up alot of my earnings but when I go out with them… The way I spend money sometimes gave it away.

The truth is… it started out as an innocent waitressing job and I eventually became a hostess as the money was good. But I got greedy and tired from working as a hostess as I’m often drunk.

Studying for a degree is not easy and there are always endless assignments to submit and the deadline is always tight. While drinking with some customers, I told a few of them of my situation and some of them advised me to stop working as a hostess while some others told me to “tahan”

One of the customers actually offered me a deal, he said that I can quit my job and focus on my degree. I asked him “then how would I pay for my degree?”

He said that the deal was to give me a $2,000 allowance a month to be his “girlfriend”. I asked if he is asking me to be his “SugarB”. He said yes… So I asked what I needed to do, he said

“everything a girlfriend does with her boyfriend”

I was tempted but I rejected him.

Degree soon became a lesser concern

Months went by and the stress from studying was getting higher and higher, I met the same guy at the pub again and somehow this time he convinced me. I feel like a soulless doll when he was using me but the money was good.

After 2 months, I felt that I can earn much more than that and I started to do freelance and eventually MIA from that customer.

Freelancing was earning me even more, within a few months I could not only pay up my degree’s fee but also buy good things for myself. I started to think… even with a degree, I will not come close to earning this kind of money until I’m old.

By the time I’m old, I don’t have the energy to have fun anymore. Now I’m thinking should I finish my degree or just do freelance till I can afford my own property. I am really confused, a bit of me is feeling disgusted with myself. But I can’t say no to money.

I regret having a child

My baby boy is 4 months old and perfect. I wanted to start a family and I bet on the wrong man. While I was pregnant, he became violent.

After my baby was born I tried to steer the relationship to a healthier dynamic and he instead got violent.

Now I’m a single mom, I have to retrain for a new job at the same time I’m taking care of a child and suing my ex so he can never take custody away from me, but honestly? I’d gladly give custody to somebody else.

People say I should be glad I got the baby and that’s all that really matters and I disagree.

My life before was better. I hate my life so much now. I hate having to depend on others, I hate having to raise a child by myself, I hate being judged for trusting that bastard, about how he hurt and humiliated me.

I feel bad for my son. He does not deserve a mother who views motherhood as some kind of punishment. He does not deserve to grow up without a dad. This is not how I envisioned starting a family.

Women, if you’re planning to have a baby, only do it if you’d be OK with raising that child all by yourself. Because when things get hard, men get to just leave. You don’t.

just felt like reflecting on some stuff. For some reason when me and my ex broke up i didnt grief as much as i did in a previous relationship, and thinking about it i felt it may be because i know i deserve alot more than what she had to afford, which were just bare minimum or sometimes even not.

She was broken when she entered the rs and i tried my best to help her and “fix” her but in the process had also lost myself.

She doesnt rly make me feel loved, i receive the most dry “gd morning” text from her, it doesnt seem like she is excited to spend time with me too and never once gave me any reassurance, especially since she hangs out with alot of guys and even go out 1 on 1 afew times,

and im not talking about sweet text(which NEVER happened ONCE throughout the time we dated). She also wears shirts that belongs to other guys which i personally feel is unacceptable( i wld understand if it was a new shirt given as a gift).

She’s lowkey a gold digger also because i realise i always end up spending at least half of whatever money i have each month on her.

And while im taking time to heal now she’s going ard seeking affirmation from other guys trying to fill the void i left which is kind of toxic in my opinion.

That doesnt bother me though because her next relationship wont end up lasting seeing how she treats the whole situation and she’ll probably end up continuously filling that void till she finally wakes up and realise her own mistakes.

At least i get to laugh at her glow down while i have my glow up and watch my bank account grow and eventually find someone else to give the world to and spend my money on.

And if she sees this i hope she’ll realise that it is her loss because someone who she once complained about being poor is now 10 times richer and she lost someone that would do anything for her while all i lost was someone who couldnt give me the simplest words of affirmation.

You may think u got the better end of the breakup but deep down you know u’ve messed up;)

A man shared on Facebook that his wife has always tried to stop him from trading stocks, but he did not stop and made a small fortune from trading stocks online.

Here is the story:

Before reading further, I have to say that I did not do trading of stocks base on friend’s advice nor did I Google for trading tips on the internet.

Trading stocks online is a risky thing and often people who have little understanding of it often tells you to stay away, such as my wife0. But I proved her wrong.

I’m not here to bragged how much I earn but I see too many friends out there that lost their savings because of trading stocks.

There is a very thin line between investing and gambling, most people believe that gambling is luck but the fact is… it is a probability game. Trading online such as buying or selling stocks have much more factors that might affect the outcome of the desired result.

Last night I made over SG$100,000 from the US stock market, but this did not happen in a night. It was a number of stocks that I have purchased at an earlier period and I have been waiting for today’s arrival. I expected the arrival to be at Christmas but did not expect an early year-end bonus for me and my family.

The initial investment amount that I put in was around $50,000 and it too less than a year to reach $100,000. This means my trading yielded about $50,000 after commissions.

Do your research and bear in mind that there is no such thing as luck. You are also not comparing with your friend, you are doing it for yourself.

There is always a risk that a catastrophic event happening that will affect stock markets worldwide. So the best advice I can give you is don’t put in your life savings, invest any extra cash you have.

I (17F) live with my parents (44M and 42F) and my brother(10M). For as long as i can trace my life back to i have always wanted a dog, like literally ALWAYS, my mom is terrified of any animal with fur around her so i was never allowed to even keep one.

Now i will be going to poly in a couple months and as i know i cant have a pet. I thought of working in a pet store or a pet grooming facility to just be around some pets, it could also teach things about being a pet owner and how i can be more responsible, so i researched a bit and found a beautiful animal grooming center near my school and went there to see if they have any sort of work for me, when the owner asked me why i want to work there because i have 0 experience and i am not even planning on studying anything related to business etc i was honest and told her how i could not have any pets around me and i desperately wanted to be around some animals.

She was very understanding and told me i can work there part time with my poly and do some tasks like washing dogs etc which she will teach and monitor me for.

When i tell you i was ECSTATIC i am not kidding i hadnt felt this happy in a long long time. Just one issue, my parents are against part time jobs.. They believe i should only focus on school as money is not an issue, i tried to indirectly tell about the job saying how my ‘friend’ was telling me all about this perfect job and my parents said absolutely not to me, saying how they dont want their daughter to be working instead of studying.

But i will be honest i am still considering the job, not for the money of course i will do it for free as well but just to keep myself happy.

So is it wrong for considering to take up the job?

should i just wait for several more years of completing my school and getting my own house to get myself a dog? or its harmless for me to just be around animals which i know for sure will keep me happy.

Here are what netizens think:

As long as you are able to keep up on your studies, you should be able to handle a part-time job just fine. It was a long time ago for me, but I remember the first year or two wasn’t as hard or as much homework as I had been expecting. AND you can always quit the job if it starts interfering with your studies. No matter what, it will be a great chance for you to practice time-management and be independently responsible

 it’s good to start gaining work experience when you can, and doing something you want to do because you WANT to, not because you need to, is good for your mental wellbeing. I wouldn’t encourage you to do something that would cause a fight or an argument in your household, but try further communicating this with them. I do think you should take the job though, it sounds like it will be good for you.

You’ll be an adult and a big part of being an adult is making your own decisions. You don’t need your parents permission to do anything once you’re an adult. They may not agree with your decisions, and they may cut you off or kick you out as a result, but you’re still able to take any job you want.