I’m in a pretty bad situation. My pay barely covers monthly utilities, transport for all my family members, HDB rent, medication for my parents, groceries & and my little brother’s school fees & costs.

I’m working on a contract basis for a IT company as well as a Grab delivery rider on the weekends. 7 days a week.

Total monthly I’m able to bring back combined $3k. I’m the sole breadwinner for my family.

Once I get into NS in a couple of months, 80% of my pay will be taken away. I have no interest in serving NS at all, because pay is completely messed up.

Like even I heard financial assistance max is $500. Even then it’ll be $1130. Nowhere close to what I need to run my household.

If the army is willing to pay for all my house bills, medications & other bills, I’ll accept $630 with my mouth shut.

Who do I approach before NS? My principal focus is on my parents medicines, HDB rent & school fees. Food & transport I’ll manage. I need someone to cover the full costs of those.

I dont care abt the SAF, NS or anyone at all. My family comes first. I’ve no intention in NS life other than caring for my family & till my little brother is able to find a job after his poly studies.

I need some solutions, becos idw AWOL or go to prison for putting my family first.

Netizens’ comments

• hi i’m a clerk who handles financial assistance for my unit. it does not cap out at $500 and i’ve seen it go up to $2k+ in certain situations.
  Go to your S1 or relevant commander and explain to him your financial situation. They will help kickstart the FAS procedure.
  I will say it is a rather slow process so do provide the necessary documents ASAP. They will ask for copy of all IC’s, CPF statements of all family members, divorce letters and alimony details(if applicable) and a commander may conduct a house visit.
  More documents may be required in more obscure scenarios. DM me if you need more information regarding this.

• There are SAF financial assistance schemes that can help to alleviate your financial burden if your household income is sufficiently low.
  Alternatively, if you seek proper approval for your superiors you may be granted permission to work elsewhere to earn additional income, on a case-by-case basis.
  Stay strong bro!

In November – December I found out that my dad was cheating on my mom for 2 years with my teacher(Not a school teacher just some random girl who taught me and my brother tuition) after a bit my mom goes to stay with her parents after she confronted dad about the cheating.

My dad started saying what he did was fine and she shouldn’t have to apologise for anything that he did. My mom divorced him and I found out about this in December 23th and my dad has still not told us about what he did, thinking we do not know anything (me and my older brother haven’t told him we know only our oldest brother has)

My dad keeps trying to himself look good for out mom for example im gonna buy a gift to my mom and he says “tell ur mom I bought that” it annoys me a lot and I don’t see him as the person I looked up to before.

My dad also spread rumours about my mom stealing his money and more nasty rumours and it just pissed me off more. (My dad always beat me and my siblings when we were kids) I have trouble showing emotions and I have anxiety because of him. I keep telling him that my mom won’t come back and the next time he tells me that I should hope that he and my mom get back together I would say “Dad, mom dosnt want u anywhere near her and u should accept it and move on”.

Here are what netizens think:

• Your dad sounds like a very toxic, selfish person. Work on setting up boundaries with him because he is just going to keep pushing. He doesn’t care how anybody else feels.

• At the same time, your dad seems clueless. All you’d be doing is making him upset.

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (20F) was cheating on me with the guy she told me not to worry about.

I loved this girl. I bought her everything she wanted, we lived together and I loved her. We had a pretty rocky relationship and today I decided that I was going to fix our relationship.

She had been staying at her father’s house for the past two days and so I decided that she needed to come home.

When I got to her father’s to get her I discovered a hickey on her neck. I knew about a guy that she hadn’t talked to for two-ish years and I quickly msgd him on Instagram.

He ended up sending me the msgs between her and him and she had been lying to him for over a week saying she was single.

I still love this girl but I don’t know what to do. We’ve already broken up but I feel like I can still fix this.

Netizens comments

• Dude, just no. She doesn’t care about the relationship with you. She told a guy she was single and has a hickey from him. The cheater should be the one wanting to fix it, not the one being cheated on if it’s to be fixed. Move on, you’ll find someone way better than her because you deserve better.

• Don’t let her walk over you. Have some self respect. You really going to let someone treat you like that? It’s probably why she did it, because she knew you loved her to much to leave her. Heck, she left evidence on her neck because she didn’t care enough for your feelings. Now do what every man does after being cheated on. Workout, focus on your career and stay single until the universe sends a girl to you.

27M here. I am thinking seriously to get a partner and get married via a paid dating agency, whether govt or private. My life goal is to get married and form a family by 30/31.

However, throughout my life, I have no chances with girls. I have confessed to 5 girls and have all been rejected. Tbh I am not the typical tall, fit and handsome guy that you see on kdrama. On the contrary, I have an obviously pot belly though I am of healthy bmi and I suffer from acne with obvious scars on my face. I believe many girls will be put off by these alone.

I also can’t speak and express myself well verbally. The only saving grace is that I earn above the average of my peers and I can provide for a family if I have one. I really want to form a family and have kids when I am still young and energetic and have time to enjoy family life before my energy levels drop by late 30s/40s and I get too bogged down by my career as well. I am tempted by those success stories put out by those dating agencies that promises a high chance of getting a match.

If all else fails, I am not ruling out marrying a foreign bride too even if we do not share any common language.

Here are what netizens think:

• To be honest, even dating agencies doesnt 100% certain can find you a life partner. Best is to go out there n be involved in social activities n make new friends, dating apps can but u know the risks. Gd luck

• Be confident my man! Those scars and belly are just physical attributes which can be overcome by true love.

• if u not handsome and muscle fit, u need lots of money. No money no honey. Even a Bui bui with millions can get all the celebrities.

My wife wants to sue my sister for her dog biting our daughter.

My wife and sister have never gotten along. A couple days ago my sister came over to our place with her dog. It’s a beagle I think.

Our daughter has a ball she likes to throw and run after. My wife warned my sister about this and my sister said her dog wouldn’t do anything.

Well I guess we were careless and her dog ended up biting our 2-year-old daughter and drawing blood.

We had to take her to the hospital and while there my wife and sister got into a screaming match. The bite was pretty bad and the doctor said there may be scarring.

Anyway my wife wants to sue my sister. She thinks the dog should be put down. My sister has apologised but began chastising my wife, like calling her crazy and other past stuff.

Now my wife is bent on suing her. I’ve tried to console her but it’s been a few days and she’s contacted a lawyer.

I’ve never seen my wife this angry. This whole thing is a complete mess and I don’t know what to do

Netizens’ comments

• From a previous comment you made, no one was present when the bite happened, so you are all equally at fault here.
  Your sister has already paid the medical bills, so your wife needs to drop it. Definitely talk to your sister and let her know that she needs to stop disrespecting your wife, but your wife needs to stop being vindictive as well.
  Chalk it up to a (terrible) lesson learned and move on. Your sister and wife can keep their distance from each other moving forward if they can’t get along, but suing or putting the dog down when you are all at fault is outrageous.

• No child that young should be left alone with a dog. You and your wife should have been monitoring your child, and your sister should have had control over her dog.
  My dog loves children but no way would I leave him out of sight with a two-year-old. Children do not know how to read a dog’s body language or how to respect their boundaries, that is your job to teach your child.
  The dog should not be put down, but your sister needs to be a more responsible dog owner and you and your wife need to be more responsible parents to prevent this from happening again.

Marriage is just a piece of paper or is it not?

I met this guy. He was perfect. He checked all the boxes of being an eligible bachelor. It was love at first sight for the both of us. We met each other at a friend’s party and got together soon after.

A few months into the relationship we started to talk about us. He felt he is not marriage or kids material but he loves me a lot and can see a future with me. He was very clear about this and wanted me to understand before we continue. At that time he also suggested that we get a place together. Eventually he ended up getting a place on his own and I moved in with him. He told me I need not pay anything but I contributed by paying some of the bills and minor house expenses. I felt I was very much in love with him that a part of me believe I can forsake marriage as long as we are happy together. Besides I dislike children myself.

We are not married but we lived like a married couple. We cook for each other, did chores, managed the bills, visited each other’s parents and we did everything together. I thought we had the perfect life. We lived like we are married and yet we have the time to date each other. I was envied by friends who witnessed our love. He still buys me flowers and gifts on special days like anniversaries, after being together for 10 years.

The final few months of our relationship I sensed his increasing distance. I convinced myself we are just busy with work and other things. He was out more, he stopped telling me about his day. It got to a point I felt we were like roommates living under the same roof. Then he told me he met someone. He needed me to move out because the other woman wants to move in.

I haven’t had time to compose myself and react to this utter betrayal and I had to pack up. 10 years meant nothing to him?.. I moved back to my parents and lied to them that his place is under construction.

I haven’t even had time to process my anger and grief then I heard he had a vehicle accident. His parents wasn’t aware that we broke up so I was called first. I found out he was severely injured that his life won’t be the same forever. The other woman didn’t hesitate to dump him after seeing his condition.

Since his parents didn’t know we had broken up, I choose to pretend I’m still his gf and stayed with him at the hospital. I took over most of the caregivers job because he was so helpless. I stayed over at his place often and took care of him for a while. He couldn’t carry on with his current job anymore so he had to settle for a simpler job which pays lesser. The lucky thing is he had almost paid off the house so he didn’t need to downgrade.

He had been needy towards me since the accident. I can understand that. How can I not feel for him? We did have a lot of happy times till this happened. I continued being there for him as he needed a lot of help and support. One day he asked me if I wanted to get married. I realised this was what I wanted all along. But not like this. I said no and realised it is time to leave him. I didn’t want to take care of him anymore. So I left.

Now, I’m already past the age of having kids safely. I did try to move on. I tried to date but without much success. I met 2 who were quite persistent in chasing me. But none interest me or can even compare to him. I’ve got my own place during the time I was taking care of him. I think a part of me already know I won’t get back together with him. I just needed a push to move on with my own life. Did I regret not getting married when I was younger? Definitely. I may have lived a very different life if I walked away the moment he told me he is not marriage material. If he cheated while we are married maybe he wouldn’t have got hurt because I may not have moved out so easily.

Without a marriage certificate, it’s very easy to walk away when things happen. So what kind of a person did I wanted to be? One who walks away or one who stays because of a piece of paper?

Last night I had my boyfriend and a few of our mutual friends over to my apartment to drink and play games. Well after a few hours we were all pretty wasted and playing truth or dare. When my boyfriend picked truth, I couldnt think of a good question so I asked jokingly which one of my friends he would sleep with. I’ve always been secure in our relationship so I wasnt asking because I was suspicious.

I was 100% sure he would say “none of them” or give a joke answer, but no. Without hesitation he pointed to our friend Stephanie and said “probably Stephanie,” then looked at her boyfriend Jacob and said “no disrespect, man, but damn you’re lucky you get to piak that” and looked her up and down

The room went silent. Stephanie had a disgusted look on her face. She crossed her arms to cover her chest and looked like she was about to blow up at him. He picked up on the fact that everyone was shocked by his answer so he said “What? Asked and answered. Come on. Lets move on”

Stephanie got up out of her seat and went outside to have a smoke. Her boyfriend followed after her. I got up too and he started to look panicked saying “what did i do wrong?? You asked me a question and I answered truthfully! You shouldnt have asked if you didnt want to know the answer” I just said “You’re right. I shouldnt have asked”

I went outside and apologized profusely to Stephanie and Jacob for putting them in that position. Stephanie said its not my fault, but I felt awful. If I had known he would give a real answer I never would have asked him that.

I went back inside and all of my guests were packing their things and leaving. When they were all gone, my boyfriend said he wanted to break up because I’m too dramatic.

I was emotionally numb in that moment so I said “oh good. I love when the trash takes itself out”. He started crying and saying he didn’t mean it. I ordered him an Grab and let him stay inside until the Grab got here. I held it together until he was gone and then finally cried

My life is miserable being surrounded by “successful” friends.

We are group of 4, close since schooling days. I was the smartest, did the best in school. The other 3 often hanged around in my place, then I came up with games and activities for us to have fun. I could feel their admiration to me, and I also treated them well. We were happy brothers.

10 years passed, things change. I work at Meta now, take home more than 15k/month. High income, good reputation company, by normal standard, that is considered quite successful. But it was nothing as compared to the other 3.

1st guy was not smart enough and failed uni. He opened an online store with his parent’s money. The store turned out to be successful, now is one of the most popular brand in SG and some SEA countries.

2nd guy got to the same major with me. We graduated together, but unlike me, he failed the interviews at all big companies like Google Facebook, and had to go for Shopee.

Guess what? Their stock skyrocketed. The companies grew so fast that he soon became a manager and a millionaire.

3rd guy, slacking around and barely made it to finish uni. He then married his girlfriend, whose father happens to own a really big company. He was admitted to that company, got promoted real fast and is now at high management level.

And me? Just a loser, trying to climb the corporate ladder, little by little, in a company that is sinking.

I felt really unfair and bitter, to see people that is below my level, but now at a better position, because of luck.

After becoming big, they suddenly became very active in social media, sharing their successful story and how hard work brought them there.

What a joke. I laughed, and cried inside. Our gathering is now a place for them to brag about their next projects, their big plans, promotions, etc., and I could no longer join that circle.

I had the talents, studied hard, worked hard, but now had to suffer this humiliated life. For once I even thought about ending their lives and mine as well, so we could reset, and I could do better in the next.