It was a long time ago when I was staying over with my boyfriend at his close friend’s home in Bedok North. It was a three-room flat. This flat was shadowed by the trees even if it was in the morning. No sunshine can shine into the house, which I always found strange.

Whenever I am alone in the house and actually feel someone is looking at me from one corner. I use to play online games alone in the living room or the kitchen and my hair always stand. As I never encounter any scary incidents than just a feeling, I brush it away.

Then, one night when my boyfriend now husband was away for re-service. I was at home in my room and fall asleep around 12am after finish surfing the net.

I was woke up by continous loud knocks on my door as if the door will drop anytime. In my mind I thought it could be my husband’s friend that have urgent matter.

Without thinking, I open my door wide and step out of my room. But to my horror, the living room was pitch dark and no one was at home as the other bedroom door was open but there is no one.

I was damn scare and ran back to my room. Immediately call my husband and start crying asking him to come back. It was 3am in the morning.

I did not dare to step out of the room eve I heard noises outside and hide under my blanket until he came back at 6 am.

It was the only encounter and after that I dare not stay at the house alone ever again.

Burnt out and need a bloody vacation

Little info about myself, this month marks my 8 months since enlisting. I’m currently less than a month away from finishing my SCS course and passing out as 3rd sergeant.

As the title suggests I am so burnt out and in desperate need of time off. Dont get me wrong NS hasnt been all that bad.

Only reason I have pushed through crappy outfields, boring lessons, never-ending live firings only because of the section mates I was blessed with

But I am so burnt out. Waking up everyday without purpose and motivation knowing that I still have a year and a half left of this hell has led me to feel extremely burnt out.

I indicated interest in SCS because I want to eventually want to come back to tekong and make difference and help new recruits.

But I have realised that 3rd sergeants are given zero support and platform to do this. Thus i am beginning to lose motivation and interest.

Lately my burnout has gotten worse and evidence of this is I keep forgetting stuff at home/in bunk, messing up things I usually would never mess up.

I am clearly mentally exhausted and need a break. When I bookout, I am so exhausted I just wanna sleep and be alone.

I am so easily irritated and losing interest in things I once considered as my hobbies. I hate who I’m becoming.

I used to steal all the time and i regret it so much

So over a year ago when i was 13 me and my friend decided to steal, Not because we were broke just because it was fun and exciting.

So i got addicted after a while and i started going to malls without any money with friends and go home with bags full of things we wanted and i was so good at it at that point.

My mom got suspicious because i had so many new clothes without spending any money but i just continued.

I would even steal in the store with my mom and siblings as a secret and that was so messed up, i never thought about the consequences for some reason, if i would have gotten caught none of them would have seen me the same way as before or trusted me for some mf candy bars that i COULD AFFORD.

And one day me and my friends got busted and ever since that i have never done it .

Its so embarrassing how much we did it and how many security officers i used to lie to, and also how many cameras i must be on.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m glad you were able to stop and learn from it 🙂 before getting caught & ending up with a record

• It’s all a learning experience. You’re still young, learn from this and think about the consequences of your actions moving on. Also remember everything catches up with you eventually.

A netizen posted a story stating that there are many people who post online stating that they earn over S$20,000 but are still unhappy with their life.

This is known as soft bragging.

Here is the story:

Can I just tell those ppl who post online that they earn 15k/20k but are still unhappy cos their “friends” earn 30k/40k that I CANNOT RELATE, like AT ALL?

I am just a humble uni grad earning 4k+ working multiple jobs, barely managed to pay off school loans, and after paying rent, food, transport, bills, insurance, taxes, misc (add up to 2k-3k) I can barely save/invest some of the balance. Like that shouldn’t I just go to the tallest building in sg and just leave?

Here we are having to count every single dollar we spend, u guys literally do not have to worry about finances at all with that kind of income, but instead still unhappy about it?? Really first a world problem in a first world country sia… zz

Here are what netizens think:

• The younger you are, the more you want to compare. You compare based on income, material things, social status etc.But once you get older, you will realize that all these are superficial. You will realize money can’t actually buy happiness.Happiness is free…But most people take free stuff for granted.

• Higher pay higher financial commitment

• Alot of them come here n humble brag are really mentally retarded questions n mostly trolling.

• yah sometimes I wonder what is a typical salary for a grad… here everyone seems to earn 15k+++

How do you accept being less well-off than others?

Just saw a post about the younger generation being more entrepreneurial and “richer” in general.

I’m part of that generation, but I’m not well-off whatsoever. I’m not in actual poverty, but I’m in that awkward situation where I’m not exactly middle class either.

Of course I have my own drive and ambition to do things such as invest, work while schooling (currently studying), freelancing, picking up new skills to freelance with, etc.

But it honestly pales in comparison to most of the people I know.

I’m talking about 20-somethings (same as me) driving cars around, able to invest in high value NFTs, balling on all sorts of clothes and “toys” without blinking an eye.

It’s extremely hard not to feel like my effort measures up to nothing. Even with my planned career path, which while lucrative, wouldn’t even compare to them.

Which brings me back to my question, how do you learn to accept this?

Netizens’ comments

Comparison is the thief of joy. No matter how rich you are, there will always be someone richer. Live your own life and be content with your decisions and their outcomes. Money only makes life easier, but it doesn’t bring joy in of itself.

My girlfriend and I are contemplating marriage next year. She comes from a well-off family and actively contributes to managing their family businesses.

She envisions me as a househusband, taking care of the children and residing with her extended family. Furthermore, her father has proposed that our first two children bear his surname. My parents are against the marriage, believing it implies I’m marrying into her family.

Despite my reservations, my girlfriend is determined to adhere to her father’s ideas. Although I deeply love her, this situation has strained my relationship with my parents to the point where we are not speaking.

They have even thrown my clothes out of the wardrobe, insisting that I leave. I’m torn about whether to marry her or heed my parents’ advice to seek a partner from a more modest background.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m not sure if this helps at all. But your life is not going to be easy after marriage. You have to dance to their music and do everything they tell you to do. Basically they will treat you like an employee. I’m not sure about the culture about surnames so I’m not going to comment on that. And this maybe good or bad advice. But if it was up to me I’d listen to my parents. They always have your interest when they advice you. And if your marriage does not work out for some reason. You’ll have to crawl back to your parents house which I’m not sure if you will be able to.

• In life you cant have everything. You win some and u lose some . Its for you to figure out yourself. If you want a comfortable life but you have no freedom and control over your marriage , than you may proceed . Otherwise , take a step back.

• Lol the men on this thread. No wonder SG birthrate so low.

• Get money give honey lah, get more then chow. Just ask how much per month

My hubby made a big mistake in investment, due to WFH his friend introduced him to forex copy trade and he started investing 3000 USD.

After few months he wanted to try on his own so he invested 1000 USD, everything was lost and he invested 500 USD few times and all lost and he asked me to give 10K USD so that he can make profit, so I gave him and it was also lost.

After which he borrowed 36k SGD from the bank and invested, this time I was unaware that he’d borrowed money from the bank, somehow I found out by myself so I warned him to stop this but he believed he will make profit but due to market fluctuations his borrowed money was about to finish in forex so to save the loss he needs to top up.

We had our daughters saving saved for more than 10 years in her child account and that was linked to his account, he promised he won’t touch this account but he had no choice as he needs to save his money in forex he took 82K SGD from our savings and topped up his forex without my knowledge.

Within one month all the money in his forex is lost. And now we have zero in savings.

I am lost as I don’t know where to start now, please advise me how do I proceed further in my life. How to make my hubby stop this forex trading and concentrate on making money by doing some part time job apart from his job.

I have two daughters who are still in primary school. My parents are also dependent on us. Please help me by providing some advice.

Here are what netizens think:

• Tell him that numbers don’t lie, if he can even make one cent he won’t have lost over 100k today. Clearly this is not for him. Your husband seems to have a gambling problem more than a poor investment streak. Think he wants to get rich quick. Seek counselling.

• I guess when we lost money, we feel the pinch and desperately want to win back our capital at least.Unfortunately most of the time we will only end up losing more.You really need to tell your husband to let it go before he lose more than money. It could be marriage, you and the children or even his life. (Maybe I think too far ahead.) I assume he has a high paying job to be able to have this much savings? If so, money can still earn back. Let this be an expensive lesson and stay far away from forex.I sure hope he won’t resort to borrowing from illegal moneylenders?
• Cut losses as forex is highly leveraged. Take control of the family finances e.g. redirect hubby salary to your account/joint account, budgeting, even giving allowance to the hubby. Basically to limit his spending. Discuss with him on the way moving forward.

My family can see/sense ghosts, I didn’t believe them until it happened to me.

Growing up my family was able to sense things that were not there of course I didn’t believe them since I was the kind of person who would say “seeing is believing”.

Be careful what you wish for, because that’s exactly what happened to me. My siblings can see and sense things, while my mom only sense them. I never had any of that, so I would just call them crazy or insane.

Well we moved into this nice home, and already my sister hated it, I tried to get her to tell me but she told me I would just laugh at her face and call her names.

A few months later she warned me, told me the spirit hated me, would follow me to school, would watch over me sleeping, would get angry over little things, and hated how I was happy all the time.

I didn’t listen to my sister because I thought my sister was just trying to get me scared. But one day I was getting ready for school, I went to get something until I felt a shove, the hands were small like 8 years old, but nobody was there, it went through me causing me to almost fall down.

And when she went through me I felt jealousy, sadness, and anger all at once, like I wanted to kill someone. Crazy how it was only for a few seconds and I felt like a horrible person, I felt so disgusted and violated.

I don’t really like violence that much I cringe at seeing or hearing broken bones, if someone were skateboarding I would look away because I was scared if they were to fall and hurt themselves I would see blood.

but whatever came through me wanted me to kill my family. I cried for so long it gave me a panic attack, I called my sister who was upstairs at the time and I told her, she was of course was also scared.

I love them with all my heart I could never see myself hurting them, they’re all I got. I ended up getting a cross for protection, we went to church to get it blessed by a priest because my family believed it’ll prevent me from ever being possessed.

I’m now 20 years old and that happened to me five years ago, I can now see their faces and sense what they feel.

Born and bred Singaporean here working a pretty decent job. I realised that many of the expat colleagues I know live a life that is quite different from what the local population experiences and many of my local friends do envy their carefree lifestyle.

I also realise that the reason many of my local friends are feeling so unhappy is because of the social pressure from their SOs, friends, parents, bosses and whatnot causing them to spend all their time worrying about money and status.

So I always wondered, given the fact that Singapore is quite a safe and fairly vibrant city and assuming one has a decent wage, is it possible for someone who is local to actually create that kind of life for themselves?

Can a local just tune out all the noise, rent a room, and then plan and go on activities just like as if he/she was posted to another city to work, just that instead of Chicago or Sydney the city is Singapore.

Forget about BTO, forget about social pressure, forget about ippt and reservist, oh wait the last one cannot.

Add On: Not referring to the super high level expats like presidents and ceos and talents of course with the insane packages, but the many who work white collar junior to mid level jobs like many of us.

Here are what netizens think:

• Yes, if you have money, a high flying job, a liberal outlook on life and a circle of friends who are the same.

• The main reason you think they live a rather carefree life is because these expats are exactly the demographic that would risk it all to move to a new city and start afresh. The ones that are unhappy and grumbling about life are back home (like most Singaporeans).

• Well, their mid level salary and benefits package already win locals by a mile for one. That plus having the same relaxed/wlb attitude they have back home, of course they are going to have it better. Why the hell would they come otherwise

Former Expat in Singapore shares his views

As a former expat that used to live in Singapore.

The biggest thing holding back any expat from living in their home country so carefree is precisely because there are societal pressures at home.

And in Singapore the pressure to live a certain way is in my opinion is much much stronger compared to other countries because Singapore is so small and everyone sees everyone so regularly.

So I would think it’s impossible unless you move out of Singapore. And funnily enough the Singaporean expats that I encountered in Europe and the US were way more open minded so i think the societal pressures at home play a big part