Anyone here feels that being a 170cm in height guy is still super insufficient?

Even though statistics point to the 171cm guy being the average, that is because Singapore is an ageing population, so the shorter uncles are pulling the national average down. This means that the younger guys in age 21-40 are likely in the upper 17X to 180X.

Heck, even most of the younger ladies or those my age, not even including the Gen Z, are also around my height, I just cant seem to find a comfort zone even standing beside the ladies. I have done this observation carefully at malls and workplaces. I cant be wrong unless someone really disproves me with evidence. Inb4 someone says I am trolling, I am not. Maybe you guys didnt really make as much legit observations as I do to say there is confirmation bias etc.

Typically the high region above my eyes to the top of my head makes it worse because that excess depth doesnt help in making me feel taller, even compared to most ladies since their head tip lies in that blind spot region if not higher. Without a mirror, there is literally no way to validate the comparison. And it is this uncertainty that is really screwing me from the inside. I am not sure if anyone else feels the exact way as I do.

Even though I have a doctorate and earning above average, but this doesnt seem to help much in overcompensating. The gap from being the ideal guy is still too far. In fact, I have screwed myself over the past decade by cutting off my social circle in University, since most of the guys in the clique were 180cm plus and there is almost no guy close to my height in my group.

I have talked to one of the school counsellers at UHC few years back. Being the typical boomer, she preached religion to me and that doesnt help much either. I have stopped trusting all these people since then.

Sometimes I wish I could be either way taller so that I will feel tall all the way or way shorter so that I can fully give up on the thought. But no, fate has made me this height full of uncertainties and this might be some form of punishment.

Lastly, I understand that this is something most of you will find foolish, even for some of the shorter guys out there. That is because you guys have found your happiness and know what you want. Some of you are happily taller, congratz. But not me, no. I am just that unlucky guy out there stuck in the realm of uncertainty and constantly envying those tall korean oppas ,TVB actors or taller Mediacorp actors such as the hunky Herman Keh. Life is really not fair..

Again, I repeat, this is not a troll post, so please do not filter this. End of rant and thanks all for listening.

Context: I live in a HDB block. This neighbour’s flat is closer to mine than my other neighbour to my right.

Now this annoying neighbour sees it fit to stand outside along the corridor and TALK NON-STOP while gardening. Like calling on speaker phone, chit-chatting loudly with their friend from another level etc.

This wouldn’t normally be a problem but they do it so damn often and so damn loudly. I can hear them all the way from my kitchen!!

It’s even worse in the living room and unfortunately that’s where my working area is. They also pull this crap at 10pm ??!?

And a chit-chat session can last HOURS I’ve heard them talk from noon to 4pm it’s driving me insane.

I’ve tried telling them off, staring at them when they get too loud, blasting music (any recommendations for annoying music?), none of it worked.

Any ideas on how I can handle this? Am I doomed to tahan this for the rest of eternity?

Netizens’ comments

• Your best bet probably is a charm offensive strategy. Make friends with them and then probably they might be more receptive to you.

• Nothing much you can do if he is doing that in a public space between 9-10. Call the police If it goes beyond that.

I’m a 33 year old man who is short, fat, balding, still a virgin and the bearer of a small “down there”. It was over for me before it began.

I also work a low paying job so I’m not wealthy enough to offset any of these flaws let alone all of them combined.

It’s okay though. I’ve made my peace with it. This is who I am and what my life is. Ultimately the only thing I could change to make myself more attractive would be my weight and even then I don’t think it would help much.

It’s okay and like I said I have more of less made peace with it. I understand that life isn’t fair and that I’ll probably meet someone in time but things definitely suck right now.

Netizen’s comments

Bro, this will sound harsh, but it’s coming from a good place.

The sooner you realiza that you’re the one putting the barrier on yourself, and that you have the power to change for the better, the better your life will get.

Like hey, you’re balding, you’re short and your pee-pee is small.But those are invariables, wallowing and feeling bad about it won’t change.

You’re weight however, you 100% control that. Your attitude? In your control.

I was in a really dark place some years ago, and I let myself go overweight, my dating life wasn’t going good, I was depressed, and I felt bad about myself. I get where you’re coming from, I’ve been there

All I’m saying is that, there are things you can control. Stop feeling sorry about yourself, and you’ll be surprised by how much you can achieve.

All I’m saying is try. Try to not feel like a victime of life, try to get fit. Try to change your perspective. Try to live a life that you want to live. Try to enjoy your time in this earth.

Cause even if you fail, (which I don’t think you will), doesn’t that sound like a more enjoyable life?

You got this man, don’t give up on yourself, it’s never too late to start

I married a woman out of my league and I kept it a secret that I am struggling to maintain her lifestyle. She is extremely beautiful and came from a very rich family. When we were dating I found her to be humble and nice even though she loves shopping and wears designer brands from head to toe. We had no committments and I was able to afford to go holidays with her every few months.

I saved almost a year of my salary to get her the diamond ring that she wanted as I feel pressured to make myself seen worthy of her. She has an expensive taste but she can be simple and eat hawker with me too. Once we almost broke up because of her parents and her lifestyle but she had told me she didn’t mind my background and convinced me to stay with her, saying she can spend humbly too. We managed to get her parents’ blessings before getting married.

Her family helped with a lot of the wedding expenses and also for housing. After she gave birth to our first child we sold it to move nearer to her family’s place. The 2nd place we got we need not pay for it. I let her keep most of the money from the sale of the 1st house as her family had put in more money and I wanted her to feel assured of my love for her. She also wanted to be a sahm. Her parents gifted her a car after she became a mom. I am aware she still takes money from her family while I am also giving her a monthly allowance. Somehow I feel a bit useless even though she told me to just let it go that her parents pamper her. Her parents also gifted her more than 1 apartment so she has passive income. Her combined income from everything is even more than what I earn monthly. I have never allowed her to give me any money that came from her parents. I wish to provide for my family myself but I am struggling. At the same time I struggle with the thought that her parents are still providing for her even after she had married me.

She likes to have yacht trips a few times a year, mostly to hang out with our mutual friends and for the gram. She had been doing this before we are dating so I find it hard to restrict her from continuing her habits. I don’t feel good letting her pay for everything so I would chip in the costs to hold the yacht parties. I know she had lied to her friends that I paid for the trips so I know she is secretly ashamed of me for not earning enough. She will deny it whenever we have disagreements.

In an effort to try to earn more, I changed my job. I work longer hours. Some days I barely sleep 2 hours. My wife would ask me when is our next holiday as she is tired from minding the baby and I feel pressured to take her somewhere even when I don’t have enough savings to do that. I let her believe that I am earning enough so she continued spending and shopping.

I secretly gambled and won enough to pay for a month long Europe trip (before covid) for our wedding anniversary. I was so glad covid gave me an excuse to not plan holidays for at least 2 years. I wasn’t making much money too from staying home.

I wish she spend less instead of leaving our baby with her parents while she go for beauty treatments and shopping trips but we got pregnant again. I admit it’s my fault that I stupidly think I have the ability to afford her lifestyle. I find myself drinking a lot more nowadays and avoiding home because I am afraid she would find out the truth and regret marrying me.

Please offer me practical advice on what I can do to earn more money legitimately. Please don’t bash me. I married the girl of my dreams but I am living in hell now from all the stress. I don’t want to dash her dreams that what I am providing for her is actually a lie.

A guy pays me just to ignore him

I work as a financial dominatrix and do online sessions and I’ve had a sub for the last few weeks now who’s just been paying me good money to ignore him.

It’d be like the most mundane thing like I’d be doing my makeup or reading a book and I’m literally muted and have his audio turned off and he still pays me hundreds of dollars to just ignore him like I don’t even look at the camera.

I have other subs who want me to degrade them or provide some form of stimulation for them but this is really throwing me!

Netizens’ comments

• I had a friend who did this, only he didn’t use camera, it was phone only. He would literally put down his phone and ignore the guy and we’d be playing video games together. He’d occasionally pick up the phone and be like “are you still there? Ok, I’m still ignoring you.” Apparently he made really good money from the guy. To each their own I guess lol

• …..I’m in the wrong business.

• He’s taking a feeling he doesn’t like–being ignored–and exploring that in a way where he has some degree of control.
  Paying you to ignore him is his way of taking control. In that situation, he has more control than in a scenario where someone just naturally ignores him.

High chance MIL will create trouble during wedding

MIL demanded tables and pin jin which sums up to $10,000 after huili. This was after negotiating with her. She initially wanted a even higher amount.

Some parents either use the pin jin amount (left after hui li) or out of pocket to prepare jia zhuang for their daughter. Some parents even use the pin jin amount (left after hui li) for the couples’ wedding expenses or renovation.

Although MIL will be pocketing $10,000, she is very reluctant to give jia zhuang to her daughter and wants to give minimal during our wedding to show everyone her displeasure towards us because she didn’t get more than $10,000. She has no qualms about souring relationship or throwing her daughter’s face because of money.

We have already paid deposit for our banquet.

We are now in a difficult situation and seriously need some help and advice. What are our options? Which options will you choose if you’re in our situation?

Thank you.

Here are what netizens think:

• You can postpone the banquet first, then tell MIL there’s no banquet unless a mutual resolution is done. Chances are sure your MIL wants the banquet more than you.

• Then forfeit the deposit and cancel the banquet entirely. Stop being a doormat and stop letting her bully you. Stand up for yourself. And again, what is your fiancé’s stance on this?

• Who are you marrying? Mil?

• Don’t give her any money if you two as a couple decide not to. The banquet you can postpone or cancel if u want as mil did not book/pay deposit for it right?

• If u go ahead with the banquet you can have someone on your side collect all the envelopes and keep it safe for u. Personally, if mil is causing such problems I would delay wedding until she calms down or dies. Mil can decide if she want no grandchildren or grandchildren born out of wedlock. Or mil can deal with the shame of such old unmarried child. To be clear, there’s no shame in being single but mil types feel like there is. Same with the grandchildren stuff. That works whether u want kids or not.

Bf bought me an obiang branded bag from overseas. What should I do?

Bf insisted to spend min 1k on my upcoming anniversary gift because I have gifted him an ipad pro for his bday.

Nearing the anniversary, I have bought him an iphone to replace his 4 year old phone. He was actually quite unhappy upon receiving the present because he once told me he don’t appreciate receiving a phone as present. So I intend to sell it on carousell since I can’t refund the phone that was purchased during Lazada flash sale. My bf decided okay he will use the gift since it’s a gift from me so he broke the seal of the iphone box even though i managed to find an interested iphone buyer but left it unused up til now. In fear that I wouldn’t like his 1k+ gift, he revealed he’s buying a DSLR for me as I can take nice photos if travel overseas. I stopped him from buying. Reason being the current working adult me has no use of a DSLR, and my flagship phone camera is suffice for someone who doesn’t take photography to the next level. I find the bulkiness of the camera more of a hindrance for an amateur.

A few days later, bf went into jb with his friends and asked me if I am cool with getting a branded bag for my anniversary gift since they are headed to JPO. I have zero branded watches/bags, because I believe that scrimping and investing are good for my future. I just thought it’s a good idea to be gifted my first branded, so I gave him the green light. I very much prefer a swissmade watch but since he suggested, I decided to flow along with no objections (additional info – He doesn’t like to be restricted by a wishlist…. And I clearly updated him I wanted watch/necklace/proposal ring from him). I specifically told him no coach/longchamp in order to avoid “auntie” designs. He chose to surprise me with a gucci instead.

I was ecstatic to receive it initially, however…. After unboxing and removing from the dust bag…. The bag looks just like what I’ve imagined a coach bag to look like. When I posed with it in front of the mirror, I couldn’t control my expression and my bf could feel that I was disappointed. The bag doesn’t feel like a luxury bag…. I would pay $150 tops for the bag, but it costs around $2k. He chose the bag based on functionality(i.e. Able to store umbrella and water bottle) rather than aesthetic. Later I went on to google about the bag and JPO, and realised that the design is unlisted on gucci website (any bag pro could tell me what this means? Does it means my bf has bought a fake?) and JPO mainly sell outdated products.

Bf told me if he’s alright with me selling if I can sell it above cost price, but the max the buyer is willing to pay is only 50% of cost. Bf is still heartbroken and unwilling to bring it back to JPO for exchange/refund because it’s very bulky and he said it’s hard to bring across the custom via bus. It’s endearing to see him put effort into choosing my gift, and I’m really guilty of rejecting the gift. If this bag is <$300, i would have willingly kept it as a memento instead of desperately wanting to turn it back to cash.

It’s now sitting at my house gathering dust for the past week. Have been feeling uneasy whenever I see the bag… Probably because I don’t want to use it and a $2k bag that I don’t want to own is now my responsibility. Can anybody advise me what is the next best step?

My (37M) wife (28F) just received a bracelet from a friend (~30sM) in front of me.
This happened over a planned dinner with the guy friend. The guy friend knows the chef at the restaurant we were eating at and brought out some gifts for the chef. At the same instant he gave my wife the bracelet and kept it in her bag.

While chatting I caught the guy friend winking at my wife. But I just ignored it because we were laughing and stuff.

After dinner all three of us were walking in the mall, and the guy friend asked about the bracelet, my wife suddenly wears it.

After we dropped off the friend at his place, I teased my wife about how a lot of guys are attracted to her. And the conversation went this way:

Wife: (Seeming irritated) You know, I hate it when everyone assumes that something is up when guys talk to me back in JC.

Me: That was in college, but I’m just teasing you right now. Why do you think he gave you a bracelet?

Wife: He also gave a bracelet to the chef and another one for the chef’s wife, it’s just his way of thanking the chef, for dropping by and getting us a discount.

Me: (Puzzled) But why did he give you one then?

I said to myself, what was he thanking you for then??

I’m super stressed about it. I can’t sleep.

Major edit: just to add some details, the friend works in a hotel. Over the month of April, my wife has asked to have her “me time” spent in that same hotel. She does get a big discount when the friend books for her.

While writing this I realized both overnights were on Thursday night.