I (20sF) am pregnant with my fiancé (20sM) and I first child. We’re really excited to welcome our little baby in the fall.

Now I have a dilemma, I really don’t want anyone to smoke around our baby. Like at all! I understand that we have people around us that smoke, and I can’t tell them to stop, but I want them to not smoke when our child is near. Like if they coming over, the thing i would think was okay was if they smoked before getting in the car (the closet is 30 min away). I know we’ll get backlash for this. Especially from my FMil and FSil. Then also from my grandma and aunt.

But the most will be on my fiancés side.

I really don’t want this to be done, but I’m scared of the backlash. But I’ve also heard smoking around a baby increases the risk of SIDS, something I’m terrified off.

So WIBTA if I said no smoking around the baby?

Here are what netizens think:

Your child’s health is more important than your families addictions. It’s not only risk of SIDS that is increased by second hand smoke, there is an increased risk of ear infections, asthma, and respiratory infections including pneumonia. The “need” to have a cigarette has a name, its called an addiction. Your family should be able to put their addictions on hold for the sake of your child’s health.

im a heavy smoker and i have been for almost 9 years. i struggle to go a few hours without smoking because im severely addicted to nicotine. you know what i dont do? smoke around kids, smoke around people who dont want me to, smoke around people with illnesses, smoke in peoples homes. im a smoker, yes, and thats my choice, but i respect other peoples ability to choose whether or not they want to be around that for whatever reason. i respect that some people dont even want to smell cigarette smoke, let alone be around someone actively smoking. even if their request seems ridiculous to me (like “dont smoke for six hours at least before coming over” or something) ill either respect it and go along with it, or politely refuse and just not be around that person because its their right to not be around smokers if they dont want to be.

This! If someone doesn’t care enough about your child to avoid smoking around them, they don’t care enough to be around your child.

Growing up, my mom always pushed the importance of family connections onto me, as she was close-knit with hers growing up. She believes that family will always need each other and always comes first, and is always trying to get me to follow that principle.

It’s not quite the same for me, though. All of her relatives lived near each other, while mine live overseas. We’ve only ever visited so many times, and that was in my early childhood. It’s hard for me to remember my time with my relatives because I was simply too young. She usually got along fine with her family as well, whereas her and my relationship is rather strained.

Because of this, I don’t really have a connection with my relatives or my mom.

The relatives knew me as a little kid and hear of my activities now on occasion, but that’s how far it goes. Never went to grandma’s house or played with my cousins after school, that part of life that’s so integral to some has never been present in mine. I’ve never been able to get close to my mother either, but that’s a whole other story for a different time.

Due to these reasons, it’s hard for me to desire a relationship with my family. It’s something that’s always been absent in my life, so therefore I haven’t ever really desired it. To me, they’re people who knew me as a baby and call ever so often to ask me the same dated questions they always do.

My mom seriously thinks I’m horrible for treating them like this, and I do feel bad about it, but I can’t help the way I feel. I just don’t know these people and yet I’m forced to have interactions with them. I don’t feel as greatly for them as they do for me.

I honestly don’t want a relationship with my relatives. Is that wrong of me?

Here are what netizens thinks:

• I don’t think you ought to be rude or cut them off entirely, but it sounds like you’re just deciding not to actively cultivate the relationship, which is fine.

• Family is what or with who you make it, not the blood line you were born into.

• Despite what some people want to believe relationships aren’t forged in blood. They’re forged in bonds and you simply haven’t had a chance to bond with any of your relatives. Now theres still chance for you to do so but you’re also not obligated to

Don’t give in easily ok. Stay true to yourself. I’m speaking from personal experience. I once had this bf who made me believe that I loved him very much and that he was the one for me. I never noticed the red flags when he avoided planning for the future with me all the time.

But I gave him my virginity anyway. He kept begging and i couldn’t say no anymore. After the deal, he became another person. He ignored my texts frequently, only making me happy when he wants S. When we finally broke up, I was so traumatised and upset, I couldn’t open up to anyone.

I felt like a cheap chicken and the most sinful person on earth.

I really let down my parents and myself. To me, it wasn’t just losing my virginity. I felt like I lost my values, beliefs and trust. So please, if you’re not ready don’t go for it.

I spent almost 1.5 years trying to walk out of that hole my ex threw me in. Don’t follow my footsteps…

Here are what netizens think:

Aiya don’t blame guy or girl la, both gender also got their own set of problems.

I encounter this kind of thing before but its a girl she behaves all sweet to me, just because she wants it. But end of the day she picked a rich guy. and uses me.

Husband was a boyfriend of 6 years before we got married for 5 years. I just had my motorcycle license when I first got together with my boyfriend.

He didn’t have the need to take one because he was against riding. We used to argue and take public transport instead of us riding because he kept insisting it isn’t safe. He felt anxious on the bike until years later when he got used to it. He then said it’s convenient to ride than taking public. He used to tell me not to split lane so I tried not to whenever he was my pillion.

When covid strikes and he was out of a job. He took riding lessons to work as a grab delivery rider. Now that he has his motorcycle license. His comments about my riding got worst. Telling me I am a reckless rider and he doesn’t feel safe whenever he was my pillion. Like excuse me? You rode with me for 8 years before you own one and never once you commented that and now I am reckless? My way of riding never changed.

I got upset with him. Like why would he say that? Why would I want to put his life in danger? Why would I want to put my life in danger? It doesn’t make sense. I told him I wouldn’t want him as my pillion anymore. He could ride his own bike and I will ride mine or whenever we are taking only one bike, I wouldn’t want to pillion him. He told me I got defensive and he doesn’t understand why. Now he is upset because I got upset at him being upset at me. (If you get the drift)

It is super annoying. He doesn’t have a driver’s licence but each time I drove, he will keep commenting “Why I don’t give way? Why must I drive fast? Can you please be careful.” I WANT TO FOCUS ON THE ROAD ALSO CANNOT LA!

I told him off. Now I told him, get your license. I am not driving anymore. You can drive all you want. He is upset with me and ignoring me now. AITA?

What should I focus for the short/mid term in my career?

Hey guys, NUS alum here. I just recently moved to a new tech co as an entry level DA earning 8k+ per month. I started my first job 3 years ago earning below 4k per month so I consider myself quite fortunate to achieve this current level of salary.

Recently, I have been feeling a bit troubled knowing that my job title is still an entry level while my some of my peers have climbed up to senior or even assistant manager level. They started working at the same time as me and have stayed in their co since then while I have changed jobs for a few times, most recently due to retrenchment.

The thing is, I don’t foresee staying in my current job for long as I’m not passionate in the industry my co is in. I signed on simply cos it’s a no-brainer to have a well-paying job in today’s economy rather than being jobless like the past 4 months for me. I was even ready to settle for less salary to work in a role I am passionate in.

So with all these things considered, what would be your career advice for me? One option I’m considering as well is to go for a career break to study a master degree. I feel I shouldn’t delay it too long or else I won’t ever get it.

Here are what netizens think:

• Don’t be so bothered with job titles and tbh nowadays these titles are so creative and fancy. Do you want to be a senior manager holding 3-4k pay or intern holding 10k pay.

• Please la. Title is nothing …. Salary is more important

• I know a senior executive that earns like 8k la. Refused to get promoted, because he lazy to do report to his boss. Lol.

• Don’t go for masters degree unless it is from SMU or NUS. If you can go for Ivy League masters even better. Masters degree from unknown or low ranking university is useless in Singapore as Not recognized by Singapore employers