My wife puts zero effort into my birthday, Christmas or our anniversary but expects me to go all out for hers.

I’m turning 39 on Sunday. My love language is gift giving and I love giving people I love gifts of all sizes. I truly get joy from doing it.

But the flip side is that I kinda build up my birthday, Christmas and our anniversary in my mind. It’s not just a lust for stuff, as experiences are amazing to me.

It just means a lot when someone puts in even a fraction of the thought but I do when it comes to the gift. But since the beginning of our relationship and the nearly 6 years we’ve been married, my wife is put in next to zero effort when it comes to giving me any kind of gift.

Almost every time I’m told that “it just kind of snuck up on me and I had to find something last minute“. While I can understand that random gift-giving is not her love language, those three dates don’t move. They are the same every year and I don’t understand how they can just “sneak up on you“.

But when it comes to giving her gifts on those days she makes it very clear the expectation is that lots of thought and sometimes money goes into it. And I love giving her gifts. Big, small, expensive or free. When something pops into my mind of something I can get her, it brings me so much joy to get it and see her face.

It just hurts that I feel she doesn’t care how it makes me feel to be an after thought. Because she is not that way with her brothers her parents or her cousins. With them, she goes all out. Plans parties, really maps out and plans extremely thoughtful gifts. It just doesn’t seem that she thinks I warrant the same.

I’m sure people will think that I’m whining or beating greedy. And I can understand how it might look like that. But I don’t care if she got me something from the dollar store or even found on the side of the road.

It’s much more about the fact that little to no thought goes into things and it seems like getting me anything is more of a chore than a joyful experience. And it really, really hurts.

My husband’s ExWife sent me a video of them getting intimate the day before our wedding?

She and him were married for 4 years. He ended it saying she was impossible to live with but she made claims about him being violent to her which never been proven.

She sent me a video of themdoing it literally the day before my wedding. she did it using social media. It was….unexpected and for some reason made me feel unwell and uneasy.

It certainly affected me mentally because everyone noticed how I looked and behaved at the time. My husband found out after the wedding and he swore he had no idea his ex was still keeping this stuff because he made sure everything they shared was deleted/wipped.

He was as shaken as me but told me to just let it go and not let it take anymore of our time together but I just can’t get it off my mind, especially when I’m intimate with him.

It feels off, really off and I hate that this is how it feels when it’s supposed to be our best time together.

I feel like his ex’s anger and resentment ruined the best time of my life for me and my husband. I don’t even get why she would do such thing and what she would gain.

I could never understand.

I (17F) live with my parents (44M and 42F) and my brother(10M). For as long as i can trace my life back to i have always wanted a dog, like literally ALWAYS, my mom is terrified of any animal with fur around her so i was never allowed to even keep one.

Now i will be going to poly in a couple months and as i know i cant have a pet. I thought of working in a pet store or a pet grooming facility to just be around some pets, it could also teach things about being a pet owner and how i can be more responsible, so i researched a bit and found a beautiful animal grooming center near my school and went there to see if they have any sort of work for me, when the owner asked me why i want to work there because i have 0 experience and i am not even planning on studying anything related to business etc i was honest and told her how i could not have any pets around me and i desperately wanted to be around some animals.

She was very understanding and told me i can work there part time with my poly and do some tasks like washing dogs etc which she will teach and monitor me for.

When i tell you i was ECSTATIC i am not kidding i hadnt felt this happy in a long long time. Just one issue, my parents are against part time jobs.. They believe i should only focus on school as money is not an issue, i tried to indirectly tell about the job saying how my ‘friend’ was telling me all about this perfect job and my parents said absolutely not to me, saying how they dont want their daughter to be working instead of studying.

But i will be honest i am still considering the job, not for the money of course i will do it for free as well but just to keep myself happy.

So is it wrong for considering to take up the job?

should i just wait for several more years of completing my school and getting my own house to get myself a dog? or its harmless for me to just be around animals which i know for sure will keep me happy.

Here are what netizens think:

As long as you are able to keep up on your studies, you should be able to handle a part-time job just fine. It was a long time ago for me, but I remember the first year or two wasn’t as hard or as much homework as I had been expecting. AND you can always quit the job if it starts interfering with your studies. No matter what, it will be a great chance for you to practice time-management and be independently responsible

 it’s good to start gaining work experience when you can, and doing something you want to do because you WANT to, not because you need to, is good for your mental wellbeing. I wouldn’t encourage you to do something that would cause a fight or an argument in your household, but try further communicating this with them. I do think you should take the job though, it sounds like it will be good for you.

You’ll be an adult and a big part of being an adult is making your own decisions. You don’t need your parents permission to do anything once you’re an adult. They may not agree with your decisions, and they may cut you off or kick you out as a result, but you’re still able to take any job you want.

A netizen who was apparently from ITE, shared how she was on a date with a guy, and on the date he looked down on her education status and school.

Here is what she said

“I’ve been on many dates before and let me tell you, this one really takes the cake.

So I matched with this guy on CMB and he asked me out after a few back and forth between us on the chat, and I thought he was kinda cute so why not, right?

We went to this cafe and he was very gentlemanly, opening the doors for me and pulling the chair out for me and whatnot.

I thought the date was going pretty well and I really liked him, we chatted for a little bit and he told me that he was from Republic Poly.

He then asked me what school I was from, and I told him that I was from ITE College West, and he then started making jokes about my school.

He asked me if I felt “safe” in school because of all the “gangsters” studying there, and I told him I haven’t really met any of the “gangsters” that he mentioned in my school.

He then went on to tell me that I should study harder and get out of ITE and faster get myself into Poly after graduation, saying that “ITE people no future”.

I was horrified, like I just sat there not knowing how to respond.

I get that there are many stereotypes about people from my school, and the public portrays us as delinquents who don’t care about rules or the law.

But other schools very angelic meh? Ngee Ann Poly also got cases of students urinating on other students, his very own Republic Poly also got gangster who was slashed at Downtown east many years ago, how come he never mentioned it?

NUS, NTU also have many cases of perverts filming girls in the toilets over the years, you mean to tell me you have been living in a well this whole time?

I finished my meal and paid for my own share, before telling him that I had to leave.

He tried texting me again after the date but I really don’t want to talk to this *expletive* ever again, like I’m sick and tired of all these stupid comments us ITE students.

I blocked him everywhere and really, I hope I don’t see his face again.”

Editor’s note: Walao eh, I also from ITE one sia. Who is the guy, I just want to have a talk with him.

I’ve been dating a guy for 4 years, right from the start we already decided that it’d dating for marriage.

So far our relationship has been quite stable. However, I found out that he talks shit about me to his friend- My annoying habits, what I do that he doesn’t like etc.

Initially, he was the one who said he doesn’t like people hanging dirty laundry outside, he wants to keep relationship issues private between us.

What’s more, he has an Instagram group of boys, where they would share photos of sexy girls, talking about them etc.

Also, if I don’t initiate hugs/kisses/intimacy, he won’t start either.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do or think. I’m a pretty timid person, I’m scared that if I ask him about any of these, we would break up and 4 years gone just like this.

Any suggestions help I guess?

My (19F) family has been taking care of my cousin (7M) for about 6 months now. His mom, who was my mom’s younger sister, was a single mom who passed away from lymphoma and nobody knows who his father is so my parents became his legal guardians. His mom had some savings so they were given to my parents since they were going to be taking care of him.

Now as she had around 10 grand saved up, the plan was to use that money for his future school fees and give him whatever was left of it when he graduates. However, we didn’t tell him about the money his mom left him as we didn’t want him to just hear that he had 10 grand lying around and start demanding things and will just tell him about it when he starts learning the value of money. So until then, the money is in an account joint with my mom.

So a couple of days ago, he was being a kid and kept annoying me when I was playing video games with my friends and when I told him not to test me, he threw my hair tie into the bin. So I decided that since he was being so uncooperative, he wouldn’t be allowed to go on my laptop while I went to work (he didn’t have his own device and mostly just use mine when im not using it)

So I left for work and when I came back, my mom revealed that he had a tantrum when I was gone and when she wasn’t looking, he knocked my laptop off the desk and broke it. As my warranty expired, it just wasn’t worth it to repair it.

Since I’m a student, it meant I’m basically handicapped and needed it to be replaced ASAP and because my major requires a high-end laptop, it’ll cost at least 3 grand for a brand new one.

My parents and I didn’t see that it was reasonable for us to fork out 3 grand for a new laptop so we decided to use the funds that were meant for my cousin since he was responsible for breaking it. However, we didn’t tell him that we would be taking money from the joint account since we didn’t want him to know he had the joint account.

My mom then told my grandmother about this incident after we bought the laptop today and she ended up getting an earful from her.

My grandmother thinks we were too harsh considering my cousin is 7 and what we did was considered stealing and thinks we should give him back the 3 grand.

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s 7, and his dead mothers dying wish was to use that hard earned money on her son when the time comes. It’s not a piggy bank, and it certainly isn’t a pile of money that gets smaller every time he does something bad.

• This is ridiculous. It’s she same concept is the cousins mother was alive. You’d ask the mom to pay for a new laptop which would’ve come out if her 10k. Using the 3k to replace the laptop is no different. Why would OP go in debt for something her cousin did?

• if his mum was alive she would have been financially responsible for it. So guess what your mum as his legal guardian is responsible for replacing it. You should have put your laptop away. Your mum should have been watching him. She wasn’t doung her job and it cost the kid 3 grand. Poor kid

My s/o doesn’t accept advice from ME but will accept the same advice from anyone else. Why?

My s/o absolutely hates when I’m right and very rarely will admit it. I am wrong at times and will admit I am wrong when it’s deemed necessary.

Whenever I give him advice on something, he hates it and goes into a rage.

One time I gave him advice and he didn’t like it but a couple days later, his grandparent gave him the exact same advice and he took it and even admitted how right they were.

This is an ongoing thing. A homeless man can run up to him and tell him something I told him and he will accept the advice wholeheartedly but if I do it, it’s wrong, it’s an issue, I’m the problem etc.

Why is this? On a psychological level, why is it when a partner gives them constructive criticism, advice etc. it’s absolutely out the window?