I lied to not hurt his feelings (10years older). I regret it.

My English isn’t the best, so please forgive the errors. And thank you in advance for your patience.

I’d love some advice :)♡

We have only been able to meet up once. When we first met and well jaja I was a bit taken aback because he wasn’t the man from the profile. But he said that it was for privacy reasons and I understood since I only had pictures of half my face or less. We were going to see each other 2 weeks ago but he rescheduled Friday to Saturday and a few hours before he said he was too busy with work. Something I completely understand.

I’ve never seen myself with anyone ever. I have always thought I’d always be by myself and just have kids in the future. I’m a very shy and study focused person and haven’t experienced much of anything. I’ve always wanted to be with an older person and I’ve had the same crush and on no one else (edit: celebrity) for the past 9 or so years.

But I made a split second decision 5 or 6 weeks ago and got on the site and met him. He reached out to me. We texted and it went well, so we moved to whatsapp. He has such a wonderful voice and voices are a big thing for me. I adore voices and personalities, so when I met him I really didn’t care about how he looked like. He was the complete opposite of the image on the profile jajaja.

I’m not in any way saying I’m pretty, I have a lot of body image issues so I can’t accurately tell how I look like jaja. But the best things I’ve been told by old HK movie lovers is that I look like a mix of some celebs. They may have been just saying that ti be nice but I appreciated it soooo much. 🙁

So when we agreed to having an odd partnership of sorts, I felt ok since it wasn’t a 100% marriage long term type thing. It’s odd to explain, but it brought me some comfort.

Well we have been making a plan since last week. Yesterday and last night I confirmed with him. He said where and since he was mainly free on Tuesday, he said I could choose the time. I am and have been extremely busy and final everything is next week. But I made time. He read the 4pm message and didn’t say anything.

I got ready today and got there at 3:30pm to buy some pants I needed to buy and explored. By 4:30 I asked myself why he hadn’t texted, so I sent him a Helloo. He replied with ” Hello baby” “How are you?” And I was in the fitting room so I texted 2 min later asking if we were going to see each other. He texts back 40 min later asking “how am I with time because he is running behind on some things”. Embarrassed and a little tiny bit hurt, I texted back ” You never confirmed and my parents just left and I’m stuck here with my brothers…” He just left me on read.

I was still at the place walking around and exploring because in my 4 months, I’ve never been to that mall. No one knows (not even my parents) about him, only my grandma. So feeling highly embarrassed I called my grandma at the mall and explored while telling her all the time.

She said I should end things immediately and that no gentleman would not give a heads up the second he knew he would be late. And proceeded to compliment me and tell me I’m to young and too pretty(idk if I believe that jajaj) to be with someone who doesn’t fully respect or appreciate me.

I don’t ever stand up for myself and when I do it takes so much effort. I care too much about hurting others feelings rather than my own. I hate im such a terrible person.

I want to tell him that it was embarrassing! He should have given me a heads up told me he wouldn’t make it or at least let me know. He knows I’m a very punctual person and have had a lot on my plate these past few weeks because of what I study and am doing in my free time for my career.

I’m an extremely loving person and absolutely adore giving love to others. I feel embarrassed. I love giving 100% and don’t mind the absence. Because life is different for everyone so I don’t care but still… it’s embarrassing.

I’m so embarrassed. If anything this only further proves that I shouldn’t be with anyone and my plan is better. Why do I feel more embarrassed than hurt or offended?

I should have stood up for myself instead of lying. These past two months have been terrible jajaja.

I very much wish you all well. Hope you and your loved ones are safe. Please take care and thank you very much for reading, I’d appreciate any and all comments.

Hey there, I don’t use Facebook much and am typing on my phone so forgive the formatting.

I (20f) have been seeing this guy (23m) for about 4 to 5 months now. When we first started seeing each other we both agreed not to see anyone else, we both really enjoyed each other’s company and wanted to see where this would go between us. I told him I wanted to wait 3 months minimum before anything was made official

In the beginning, it was great we were both really excited about each other and what we would be doing in our future together. We were both planning on moving together at the end of the year for different reasons but it just so happened we were planning it for the same time.

He initially offered for us to find a place together which I was a little nervous about at first as we hadn’t been seeing each other that long at this point but I was also really excited about it because I was really starting to care about him.

Fast forward a month until we both moved, I told him I needed to have a frank discussion with him about what this was, we had been seeing each other exclusively for the last few months and everything was great so I figured the next step was to have that “what is this” conversation.

Well it didn’t go how I thought it would, he said he didn’t want to label anything. Yes he was really enjoying spending time with me and acting like a couple but he didn’t want to officially say we were a couple. Not gonna lie this upset me, I thought that what we had was more on the serious side and hearing that he didn’t actually wanna make anything official did sting.

He basically said why does it matter if we make it official, we act like a couple so what’s the problem. I said because it’s confusing to me. We act like a couple but I’m introduced to his friends as a friend or just [my name]. It’s not about the title or what other people think its a clarification for me that this is what I think it is and what I want it to be. I said if we act like a couple then what’s the problem with making it official, what would it change. He didnt agree and then opened up that because of his last relationship (6 years, broke up about a year ago) he has commitment issues. He doesn’t wanna rush into anything and wants to make sure that when he comits again he’s really sure about it. I understand this and respect it but also don’t think it’s fair on me. He also told me he didn’t think he was ready to move in with a partner yet, he told me he didn’t know how to bring it up because he felt like he was stringing me along, saying we could do that and then backing out when it came to it.

Again totally understandable we had only been seeing each other a couple of months and I had alternatives for movin. I appreciated the honesty about it and just needed to know where we stood.

Since I have tried talking to him about it since but he gives me the same answers so I’m at a loss. I do t wanna walk away because I do really care about him but I also feel I’m doing my self a dis service by putting up with this. I just need some friendly ish advice, please don’t be to harsh. 

Hey this is not a troll post so moderator please don’t filter this away as I really need some advices. Please pardon the bad grammars

Background info: i am 21F & I have a bf who is 23M. We are both in university & we reside in residential halls/college. We would spend time together during the weekends & I would go over to his rc to stayover

My boyfriend’s love language are physical touch & quality time while mine are the complete opposite.

Whenever I’m sleeping, he would touch me inappropriately on my upper part of my body which made me feel really uncomfortable. I was woken up by the act multiple times & I tried covering up but to no avail as he would eventually try to reach out as much as he could & I felt really violated.

FYI we have not reached the stage to do all these hanky panky yet but it is the fact that there wasn’t any consent & it was done when I’m sleeping. I tried brushing this matter off but this incident is still etched in my mind even after 5 months. I have yet to confront him with regards to this matter. Guys, what should I do if you were me?

Here are what netizens think:

• I have friends who date for 8 years and 10 years and they broke up before getting a BTO.Don’t use the duration of your relationship as a measure of your commitment level

• Couples quarrel is normal but also depends on situation. Since u both can resolve it means ure good. Arguments will never end but as long as u two talked through it, it’ll be fine. Just dont argue too extreme

• The period doesn’t matter, as long as both agree and feel comfortable to try. We started balloting for a flat after dating for 6 months. I was the one who suggested it.

• Many years ago i heard from a friend who was in her 60yo that rs about 2 years then get married. Since u feel insecured about your bf. Think thru. Getting bto is as good as rom. Wait till then many things to argue from renovation to wedding to giving birth

About 2 months ago I got a temporary job as an assistant via an agency and while it’s a nice job and I like the people there.

I don’t think I’m a great match because there are long periods of just doing nothing every single day.

While I don’t like to be overworked and stressed, I also don’t like to be doing very little all day. We aren’t allowed to read when there are no customers, and the computers are monitored pretty strictly so I probably wouldn’t be able to do something productive that would improve my personal life such as doing a course or something.

Last week I got offered a job in a law firm, starting in 5 days.

I have told the agency about the job offer, but haven’t been able to tell the manager herself as she is off sick. I would feel bad for leaving them without much warning because my contract was supposed to end in mid-April of next year. Some family and friends have told me to just leave, while others have said I need to stay until the contract ends.

Will it look bad on me?

The job offer is about 4 times the amount of salary I am getting.

What to do when ur wife brother does not want to work?

I have to avoid the term unemployed as he has graduated with a master degree 5 years ago and has never been employed before. He stay with his parents and my wife is helping with part of the monthly rental.

He probably spend most of his days scrolling his phone and do nothing productive.

He has no disability of any sort or any mental problem.

Although it does not affect us too much financially, I felt unfair for me and wife to work so hard while there is someone loafing at home. I mean what is the point for us to work so hard? If he can contribute his fair share (he and his parents’ household), I would be more willing if my wife need to support him financially.

Now I just felt like feeding a bloody leech and I would rather give the money to any random strangers.

Am I being objective here or I just have growing discontent towards him? How do I get that lazy fk to start working? I am worried we have to feed him for life when his parents are gone.

Here are what netizens think:

• I think you should discuss with your wife about this. It’s still her family after all.
• It’s something you have to discuss with your wife, and let her and her family sort out. While your opinion of him may be valid, the situation is kinda out of your hands

My boyfriend is attending the funeral of the girl he cheated on me with..

I have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs. He is (M) 31y/o and I am (F) 30y/o. When we first got together, I had found out he was sneaking around with his ex.

It was new and I didn’t feel we were all that serious so I forgave him.. however as the relationship progressed, she would still pop up randomly, she would buy him random gifts to get his attention. Show up to his place at random. Would call him and try to “hang out”. . .

To my dismay I found out he saw her a couple months ago, went to her place, and of course “nothing happened”, but I’ll never know.. soon after he finally told her that it wasn’t appropriate she keep trying to speak to him.

About a month later… she died.

Initially I was very understanding and felt heart broken for him, idk why but I guess because it’s sad when anyone passes, no matter what harm they have done.

Then a week after receiving the news, I find a heart she wrote on the passenger side of his windshield. He said it was odd because even when he saw her last she wasn’t near his car.

Which tells me two things, he saw her even more recent than what I thought and two, she went out of her way to write that on the side that I sit on, knowing I’ll see it.. after that I lost a lot of empathy.

Yesterday he attended her funeral, I was a bit upset but didn’t say anything until later that night.

He then told me that if I feel any type of way that I should join him for her funeral. Given the circumstances, I clearly feel it is inappropriate and am not attending but I’m still upset.

I wouldn’t dare tell him to not attend, I actually think it would be good for him. However I am conflicted and am curious how I should handle this moving forward.

Did I offend my in-laws by declining my in laws gift of a down payment on a new house?

I’m awake at 4am and can’t sleep because of this situation so I thought I would bring it here. My husband’s parents moved down to our area a few years ago because they can be closer to his grandparents who also moved down there. We visit every few months and everything has been fine.

I’m 7 months pregnant with our first child a girl. Ever since we told his parents they have been making comments when we talk to them about the distance and not seeing their grandbaby much I just ignore them because it was their choice to move so nothing I can do about that.

Last week his mom asked to FaceTime with us because she has something exciting to tell us. A 5 room in their neighbourhood is up for sale. His parents said as a Christmas gift this year they are giving us the money for the down payment so we can in his mom’s words “ move out of our horrible little apartment.”

We both didn’t know what to say we have never had any plans to move or never implied it was something we would ever consider.

We told her on the call thanks and we appreciate the offer but we have no intentions on moving and love it here even in our tiny apartment.

She hung up and it has become a thing. She is blasting us on Facebook for being ungrateful and raising our daughter in a horrible place. ( it’s not)

All her friends are backing her up in the comments about how I’ll be a terrible mother and she is offering us a house and home for our baby. She thinks that because her offer is so generous we are AH to decline.

All this is making me feel guilty as hell. My husband says to ignore her but this is stressing my out and here I am at 4am stressing and feeling like a bad mother before my daughter is even born.

So my boyfriend and I have been dating since April this yr and it’s gonna be 6 months soon . The issue comes in after I found out that he was cheating .

So some back story on that he thought that I was cheating with a friend of mine at the beginning of the relationship but I’ve since cut that friend off. And how I know I am not in the wrong there is that I have spoken to other ppl and gotten unbiased opinions on it and I’ve been told I’m not wrong and it was a misunderstanding.

So back to the issue at hand, after he cheated he blamed it on me and said that if only he had seen proof that I hadn’t done anything wrong then non of it would have happened and then it went on that I’m too clingy and I overthink way to much and I need to trust him again but here is the thing . He says these things to me all the time and he has even blocked me a few times .

Last week I was so frustrated that I literally yelled like screamed my guts out at him over the phone and that’s normal for me . He kept telling me I was wrong and I kept screaming and the reason I was so upset is really stupid . I’d like to make it clear that I’m not demanding of him , just his time and attention but that’s all .

That day he got upset with me because I was on a call with my bestfriend since she was crying and I told him to give me a few min and I would be with him . I only took 10 minutes. He got so mad at me that he went on to game for 2 hrs and ignore me which is why I screamed my head off . When he has my attention I need to relax when I find something to do he gets upset so I was extremely frustrated coz I felt like no matter what I did I wouldn’t be enough.

Today he told me that he isn’t gonna be talking to me because he wants to play games and he was serious when he said it . You may wonder how I know this , well its because he has alredy got his twitch set up just for this and while I have no problems I would like him to talk to me and make some time for me instead of just expecting me to sit around all day waiting for him. I don’t feel like I was able to explain myself properly and before any of u ask I have tried gaming and I have tried to play with him I just am not good at it but I have been practicing. Maybe I am not being appreciative but I just feel like what I put in is what I should get back . Instead I’m just met with how I’m not good enough even tho I feel like I have done a lot . So reddit please don’t be to harsh on me since it’s my first time and also do explain to me where I went wrong.

Am I wrong for not appreciating my boyfriend?

Guy refuse to meet me irl but texts me everyday.

I’m F (25) and I met M (25) on tinder prior to covid in early Jan 2020 and we’ve been texting on snapchat for a while. Of course we sent naughty photos and videos. But we also have friendly normal texts here and there.

A few months after that I got into a serious relationship and I stopped talking to M for a while. But then after awhile we started texting on tele regularly until I cut him off cold turkey because I felt like I don’t wanna betray my bf. M knew that I have a bf but he kept talking to me. I just stopped.

when my relationship with my bf ended, M started texting me again and I felt so vulnerable and I needed someone to talk to so I texted him back.

We started off casual but then things got flirty. Nowadays we text almost daily but I will try to text him less and keep things platonic.

I have never met M but I feel like we have chemistry. But M is also reluctant to meet me irl due to his own reasons. I’ve suggested to meet a few times but he is always reluctant and give excuses.

I feel like he is stringing me along for the explicit photos and jack off material. He still texts me daily, asking about my day, sharing his day and stuff. I’ve asked before on his intentions and he said we are friends but I’m conflicted but I would like to know what y’all think

1. is he into me or just here for the jack off material?
2. should I maintain this or cut him off?
3. Am I just stupid?
   *oh ya also he is very reluctant to share details of himself like his phone number and stuff. Kinda sus. Am I just a simp ????